Quote by slipperywhenwet2012


I have neither added nor taken away anything from your words. In fact, all of my responses have simply been a rehash of things you've said. The following are YOUR words:

Seems every time I've used this term, at least one person asks 'What's a SAM?' so I will attempt to cover this here. SAM means Smart-Ass Masochist, many consider them subbies, but I will attempt to dispel that thought.

IMO a SAM does not fit in the sub category, they use manipulation to get what they desire, which in turn means they are taking control.

'What is it they desire?' They WANT to be punished, their main goal is to push their Dom/me into punishing them by any means necessary. Some may refer to them as "pain sluts"(I disagree and will expound on this later) as their desire is to be physically punished. They feel no remorse for causing their Dom/me to punish them. They may not behave this way all the time. They may behave as a sub most of the time even. The instant they let the SAM in them out they are no longer a sub until such behavior is gone, they are now "topping from the bottom". They have assumed control by forcing their Dom/me to take action, which if analyzed properly - Is non-consensual!

This behavior can be very hard to break, as physical means of punishment will only fuel the fire. If they realize that they can get the spanking, flogging, etc. they want in this manner without feeling badly for behaving that way it becomes second nature.

I won't even go into methods of breaking this behavior because it is different for everyone. Well, maybe a few pointers.
1) Try sitting them down and explaining how it makes you feel as a Dom/me to have to punish them. Them understanding that it hurts You to have to do so may change their outlook.
2) Let them know if that is what they want/need that they can come ask for/hint toward what they want.
3) Instead of physical punishment take away their 2nd favorite thing (their first favorite being punishment, is already gone lol) for a period of time -- internet access -- phone time with friends -- as I said different for everyone.

The difference between a SAM and a "pain slut" sub -- both are masochistic, but a pain slut will get what they desire in a positive manner. The mere idea of punishment for a pain slut kills their mood entirely, they go to a state of guilt for disappointing their Dom/me. They may find subtle ways to let their Dom/me know what it is they want -- Laying their favorite flogger on the bed so it can be seen by their Dom/me. They may come whisper erotically "i need it rough tonight Master", or even come out and beg for what they want -- and who would turn down such an offer? ;) It is their approach to getting what they want that makes the two different.

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Seems the focus here has shifted....If the Dom/me in this situation liked it - it would not be an issue. I in no way have said or will say that it's wrong or inappropriate if both people enjoy it. It then becomes a little consensual game between the two.

Though this should be widely known, I think it may be time for a refresher course about what acceptance of "1-party consent" means. It effectively places us in a class about equal to a virus, not requiring the host's permission to take over. It sets forth the acceptance of forced slavery, releases all rapists, wife beaters, child molesters, thieves; as because that person wanted something, it was their right to take it if they could. I refuse to live in a world where 1-party consent is accepted.

Now that we all understand that the situation described is non-consensual. Should we accept/defend it?
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what a SAM is seeking is a spanking...there ARE other ways to get that.

You've got to be kidding.. "mindfuck"?... "borders on abuse"??

In that case every parent in the world should be serving consecutive life sentences. These are basic things for dealing with disruptive child behavior. Not that we're talking about children...but the same principles apply in nearly any relationship...first you let the person know that their actions are creating problems in the relationship--then find solutions to fix it.

As stated in an earlier post..ya...you could just dump em and be done with it...but it isn't so big a problem that it can't be fixed instead...IF it's causing problems in the relationship.
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Now lump all of that together and tell me how it was supposed to be interpreted. Because in the grand scheme of things, it all seems very arrogant and immature and it makes everything about the dom in the situation, not once acknowledging or accepting what the sub may need. So don't you dare attempt to write me off or question my credibility and thought processes simply because I have the ability to see things as they are.

Quote by sprite