My good friend Cornelius Clump

Asked his wife to peg him in the rump

But since she wasn’t keen

(Thought the practice unclean)

He made do with his bicycle pump

To deal with the pranks of his daughter

John met with the woman who taught her

He was quick to agree

To cross teacher’s slim knee

Since ‘a spanking for dad might just sort her’

A nurse with a soft, comely cleft

Passed me a sweet note as I left

When back in that sperm bank

Her proffered tit-wank

Milked my large balls till they were bereft

🤣🤣🤣

Quote by CallmeJayne

My mum. I've told her to pack it in but it's like talking to a brick wall.

There was a cold prude called Loretta

No soul on this earth tried to net her

Till her midnight abduction

Brought alien instruction

And now there’s just no lover better

A shapely young woman called Reva

Wanted spanks, as giver and receiver

But most girls were too shy

To give her a reply

Leaving one cold bum and eager beaver

Also available, and worse still, in real sex 😅

Quote by smilewithhappiness

Fake loud moans

This lady’s dyslexic, I’d say

If she has sex like this day to day

Where others love ‘cocks’

She lusts after ‘crocks’

And lays tables to others’ dismay

Quote by NishasWorld

A young woman in North Carolina,

Enjoyed having sex with her china.

Every cup, bowl and plate,

Would repeatedly mate,

With her crockery-hungry vagina.

A stud asked a girl in a bar

If she’d come for a lift in his car

His entendre she spurned

As he speedily learned

She preferred motorcycles by far

A woman we’ll simply call Q

Liked her sex to be rather frou-frou

There were plenty of thrills

If you worked past the frills

Of her peach négligée and tutu

I have plans to use secondary characters from one series as primary characters in another. I reason that some interesting characters emerge that beg to be explored more deeply, and it doesn’t feel right to switch focus onto them in the existing series. I imagine there are many other sound reasons for wanting to move characters between series.

An ex-girlfriend Beverley-Jo

Was confused: should she suck, or she blow?

I did quickly beseech

She should do some of each

Slurping it like the finest Bordeaux

There was a man from Glocca Morra

Who discovered to his abject horror

That the slacks picked that morn

We’re excessively worn

When loose balls made his date cry, ‘begorrah!’

Jason’s cut took a serious toll

With the length that his careless slip stole

But it wasn’t all bad

Since he started a fad

By creating the first bacon roll

Quote by JamesLlewellyn

Then Jason had really some bad luck

While slicing up bacon with a hard schmuck

The hand with the knife

Cut short his long life

But his successor charged for each slice – just a buck!

I sailed with a girl named Marie

Who came hard as she sat on my knee

With the barest of brushes

She climaxed with blushes

Just from the ship’s motion at sea

There’s a jolly young butcher called Jason

Who flirts as he slices the bacon

He always distracts

The folks he attracts

By being quite nude beneath his striped apron

There lives a porn writer named Jo

Who has a peculiar beau

His thoughts have been found

To be less than profound

But he sports three giant pricks down below

I went with a girl for a punt

And she sat down, revealing her cunt

With my pole stout and ready

I kept the boat steady

But my splashes dripped straight down her front

There was a lass from coastal Leith

Whose pubic hair stuck in my teeth

We couldn’t get free

So went to A&E

Where the nurses laughed in disbelief

I worked with a girl who was frank

That she only liked men who would spank

She lit up with glee

As she bent o’er my knee

But we both got the sack for that prank

There was a girl from Tipperary

Whose muff was astoundingly hairy

Though it wasn’t off-putting

To lovers when fucking

It made her pet Greyhound quite lary

A nervous young woman from Dover

Lost her cherry inside a Land Rover

It wasn’t romantic

But awkward and frantic

Soon as it began, it was over

Well, just what can I tell you, Kimmi?

‘My Spanking’ is hot as can be

George and June caused a stir

Then I moved on to ‘Sir’

Which is so hot it’s incendiary!

Yes, your stories have got my attention!

And there’s much more choice than I can mention

Post read and post whack

I will gladly feedback

On their word-power and sexual invention

Quote by KimmiBeGood

Thank you, kind Sir, yes, I've penned more than a few

Straight and kinky sex, and monster sex too

Please read "My Spanking"

Pairs well with wanking

Let me know how my scribbles affect YOU

A wild, wanton woman named Marge

Would fuck passers-by in her barge

She thought it a laugh

To ply the towpath

Which is why there was never a charge

Well I must tip my flat cap to Kimmi

Two-Six-Three tales I don’t have in me

But I’d like to give thanks

To girl who loves spanks

For sharing quite so liberally

Quote by JamesLlewellyn

Now, Safryzer and Kimmi, allow me

To introduce you together formally,

Kimmi's bottom yearns

To feel hand-printed burns

And Safryzer applies such with glee!

I can never resist, to be frank

When a woman asks me for a spank

But I’ll not assume

Of the men in this room

That it’s me you’d be kneeling to thank

Quote by KimmiBeGood

Hard spankings have their appeal

Laid across knees, I will squeal

My bottom, it blushes

My pussy, it gushes

Now Sir, before you I kneel

Don’t worry James, it’s not a fight

Sandra’s just being quite clear: that’s her right

I couldn’t resist

One more rhyming tryst

But my note was intended as light

😂

Well I’m thinking that’s quite a spurn

And I’ll just have to handle the burn

But the next time a chap

Has you over his lap

You’ll feel spankings are something you earn

Quote by Sandra47

.

I should say I'm rather discerning,

When it comes to a man who is yearning.

My ass is my own.

I let it be known,

That a spank is something you're earning.

There was a girl with the strange power

To fellate a radio tower

The tower’s moans of pleasure

Were heard at the leisure

Of shocked listeners to Woman’s Hour