You don't often see photoshop bowdlerization...
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Ha ha. Get it? "red carpet?" hehehehehehehe
Ahem.
So.
Venetian blinds.
Paddles are quite severe. You can only paddle someone a relatively small number of strokes without bruising.
As a step up from a crop, I'd consider either a tawse or a belt. A belt is particularly easy, since they're obviously widely available. To use a belt as a spanking implement, fold a men's belt in half (without creasing it). Place the buckle and loose end in your palm and wrap once around the back of your hand and back over your palm again. For most waist sizes, the result should be a doubled strap a bit more than a foot long. Used this way, the doubling of it adds extra weight, though it will make it more noisy.
You should not have any particular difficulty bringing tears, but even with a couple dozen moderate strokes (or even more), there won't be nearly the level of bruising that even a dozen with a paddle would leave.
I prefer a tawse over a belt, but there is no vanilla purpose for a tawse - you can only get them from kinky stores. A tawse is like a strap (think of a belt with no holes on the far end and a handle instead of a buckle on the near end), but cut down the middle into two or three "tails." The split allows for reduced air resistance, so it's "stingier."
Moving up from a tawse would be a razor strop. A strop is a very thick leather strap originally intended for honing straight razors. A real strop will have a handle, like a strap, but at the far end there will be a metal eye to hang it, or perhaps even a metal hanger. The presence of metal at the far end makes it dangerous to use as an implement, but with the metal removed, what you're left with is a very stiff, leather strap, which is as close as you can get to a wooden paddle without actually being one.
Kink stores sell all sorts of straps as well. One that stands out is the venerable "Canadian prison strap," ostensibly made from leather almost as thick as a strop, but with a couple rows of holes near the end.
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Bob cut (hair)