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Susan
Over 90 days ago
Female, 155
United States
Forum
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by chefkathleen
Susan, I swear you and I are related somewhere down the line.
Good thing y'all didn't see the Feast series, Funny as hell and gory as hell as well. Has a disgust factor of 10 but OMG!
I think we are too Chef. Hmm I will have to check out this Feast series I dont think I have seen them.
Active Ink Slinger
So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter,
a good find for many retirees,
I lasted less than a day......
About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud,
unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids,
Yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart.
Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say,
'Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7..
Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'
So I replied,
'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am,
I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice..
Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'
My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.
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Active Ink Slinger
Things Got Ya Down? Well Then, Consider These .
In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed,
on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am , regardless of their medical
condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something
to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the
deaths occurred around 11:00 am Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was
assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday
morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am all of the doctors and nurses
nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible
phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books,
and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits. Just when the clock
struck 11:00 , Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper , entered the
ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum
cleaner.
Still Having a Bad Day????
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill
in Alaska was $80,000.00. At a special ceremony, two of the most
expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid
cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer
whale ate them both.
Still think you are having a Bad Day????
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically,
almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist
towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly
current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in
two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his
Walkman.
Are Ya OK Now? - No?
Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to
a slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany . Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke
loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two
helpless protesters were trampled to death.
What?!? STILL having a Bad Day????
Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb.
It came back with 'Return to Sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the
bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits. God is Good!
There now, Feeling Better?
In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed,
on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am , regardless of their medical
condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something
to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the
deaths occurred around 11:00 am Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was
assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday
morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am all of the doctors and nurses
nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible
phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books,
and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits. Just when the clock
struck 11:00 , Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper , entered the
ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum
cleaner.
Still Having a Bad Day????
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill
in Alaska was $80,000.00. At a special ceremony, two of the most
expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid
cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer
whale ate them both.
Still think you are having a Bad Day????
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically,
almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist
towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly
current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in
two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his
Walkman.
Are Ya OK Now? - No?
Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to
a slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany . Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke
loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two
helpless protesters were trampled to death.
What?!? STILL having a Bad Day????
Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb.
It came back with 'Return to Sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the
bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits. God is Good!
There now, Feeling Better?
