Quote by Dancing_Doll
Here are my suggestions on how to graduate to your official certification in anal sex.

Stage One: Self Play
Do this alone, with some lube and a butt plug and maybe a small dildo. You want to get used to the sensations of anal play without having a guy with a giant erection impatiently waiting for you to give him the green light. It's easier when you can go at your own pace, find out if you enjoy the sensations of it, and go slow when you are completely relaxed. Once you know better on what to expect, you will probably feel a lot more relaxed when doing it with a guy.

Stage Two: Actual Anal Sex
Have him start with his tongue, then fingers (either using vaginal juices or standard lube). Graduate slowly to larger objects if you're concerned or nervous about it. You will relax, and it will start to feel really good. Make sure he knows to go slow. You will feel some discomfort as he eases in but just have him "hold there" until you relax sufficiently and then he can start with slow, long thrusts and then as per your signal, he can start going faster and rougher (if you enjoy that.). You will not be in any pain if you're doing it properly and are sufficiently relaxed. Actually, you will probably be begging for more. As for positions, start on your stomach or in spoon position, then move into doggy style, until you are used to it.

Why Anal?
It's a whole different experience than vaginal sex. For those that never try it, I think they are missing out on some incredible pleasure and highly erotic explorations with their partner. It feels different, very primal, and for those that enjoy a submissive element, it works on that level too. It's just another way to connect sexually... the same reason you try different positions, or enact different role plays or fantasies. Because things can get boring with monotony.

One last note: this 'how to' isn't how most girls experience it. LOL I didn't have any "work up" to my first anal. It just happened, it wasn't pre-planned, and maybe that's why I wasn't nervous about it. But if you are already uncertain and want to try... it's a safe and comfortable way to get started.

Quote by MinaMiranda
I'm going to go out on a limb here but...when you were growing up, was your father around much?

Everything you are describing is psychologically attributable to an absent father figure, and you are definitely not the only young woman to feel this way. I relate greatly to the huge yearning within you. It is a yearning, isn't it?

It's good that you have identified that there is this issue, early on. But I would also say, please be careful. In elevating male attention to this level of importance, you are putting yourself at risk of some really unhealthy relationships that will drive you down even further - you are already more likely to settle for something that is no good for you simply because you need to feel wanted. It's going to be harder for you to work out when a guy is really into you - as you have already found out.

I'm telling you, being with a guy just for the sake of being with a guy is going to make you feel worse. It's just like a fix for an addiction. You get a hit of satisfaction that doesn't last and you want more, but that magical fulfillment never comes. In fact some people do describe this as a 'love addiction', and if you google it you'll find you're not alone.

But this isn't to say you've brought this on yourself, it's not your fault and you are NOT lacking as a person. People are the way they are for generally good reasons. I think it would really help for you to see a counsellor or therapist and talk this through. It can change, and you can feel stronger. As we heal past hurts, then the things we desire change in line with that healing.

It's hard to see people around you in couples, laughing, doing all that romantic stuff, it can make you feel completely unlovable and wonder when it will be your turn. Your turn WILL come.

Take care sweetie x

Quote by WorkAlone
I don't play many video games but I've always thought it was so popular because the rules were known, you knew where all the right button were, and you have some sort of chance of winning, lol. Same can't always be said of women.

Can't imagine missing a "Call of Duty" with my partner for anything.

Quote by Dancing_Doll
OK, want my honest opinion?

I think all of you people are wimps... lol... You're making swallowing cum sound like a freak episode of Fear Factor.

It's not like you're swallowing a gallon of it at a time.

It's body fluid... it's not supposed to taste like maple syrup or a strawberry milkshake.

Personally I have not come across any truly funky spunk, but if I did... it's only in your mouth for a short while. Just swallow it and move on.

Quote by eviotis
Big girl, white girl, black girl, skinny girl, hairy girl, shaved girl, bi girl, hetero girl, makes not matter. If you are the girl for him, then...you will be his it girl. Peace.

Quote by WellMadeMale

Quote by menthol
is it okay for guys to let there wife's/gfs fuck them, do you think this could turn a guy gay, or is it just a bit of fun in the bedroom?

Let's anal-yze this a bit.

In one instance a woman who you find to be physically attractive, laces a piece of plastic around her hips/waist and inserts it repeatedly inside your rectum, possibly massaging your prostate. It may well even stimulate her clitoris, giving both of you 'good vibrations'.

Sounds like fun. And since you're with an opposite gender human, you're not typically considered - gay.

The other scenario removes the female you find attractive and suggests a male you may or may not find attractive, who would insert a real, organic piece of hardened flesh inside your rectum, hopefully long enough and curved enough to massage your prostate. But, that's a crap-shoot (pun intended).

Sounds iffy and repulsive at best (to me).

The second scenario would not even make you gay, unless you choose that sexual entertainment over 50% of the time. At worst, it would make you a bottom-bisexual male.

Quote by MinaMiranda
This situation has fail written all over it whatever turns out to be true, sadly.

Guy has GF and is lying = FAIL
Guy has shitty friends who have no qualms about about seriously fucking with both of you = FAIL
Guy has to be drunk in order to meet you = FAIL
Guy waits days before giving you an explanation = FAIL

Quote by Dancing_Doll


I don't think marriage itself is the issue...

I think a lot of marriages risk failure because people are getting married:
1. Too early
2. For the wrong reason
3. Not giving enough consideration to what kind of person they are truly compatible with

AND

Because a lot of people feel like they "have to get married" because:
1. They are of a certain age.
2. Their families/career-path expects them to.
3. All their friends are getting married.
4. Because they just want to have kids/procreate.
5. They are afraid of being alone.
6. The person they are currently dating is pressuring them.

Marriage is not something for everyone. Once society wraps their head around this concept, the pressure is off, and people can choose to get married if it fits their situation but also not feel like they have to, panic, and pick the wrong person, all the while probably having a gut instinct that they will be going down on a sinking ship... eventually.

Quote by MMonroe
Dont feel embarrassed to get a toy, i was at first and now im so glad i did it!

There are loads of websites as well that send their stuff in discrete packaging with no names on it so you dont have to actually go into ashop if you dont want to

Quote by Dancing_Doll

Quote by lifeboat
New to the site but I'm certainly loving it, hopefully I'll become a regular poster. Anyway, how do you get a little extra excitement when leaving the house? I know most women just throw on an extra sexy pair of underwear and wear something a tad more revealing. I remember back in high school I would go "comando" which would make for more of a thrilling day for some reason. I know it's not quite exhibitionism so I guess a better question would be what do you do to add a little excitement on days of the ultra mundane??

I throw a vibrator or a butt-plug into my purse for the day. Perfect for those mid-afternoon breaks.

Sending dirty text messages is also fun and often a prelude to those mid-afternoon breaks.

Or I'll stop by the sex store and browse what's new or try on something ultra slutty.

Since this thread is called 'exhibitionism' though, I'll say that going commando or flashing random guys doesn't really do it for me.