One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
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fystee
Over 90 days ago
Female, 52
United States
Forum
Active Ink Slinger
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by roccotool
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they just couldn't. The buxom blonde with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath. The other blonde said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."
Good one Rocco!
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by groucho
nope. i answered in this way.
i could not possibly take time away from my full time hobby to serve on jury duty. interestingly enough my hobby is a letter writting campaign to establish Old Testament Levitical Law in the USA. Then the need for juries would be obsolete. For example if someone is caught shoplifting and there are two witnesses who corroborate the crime the case is closed - the person is guilty! as for the sentencing, again no jury needed as the Levitical law dictates the punishment is to have a hand cut off! It would also do wonders for the horrible problem in our society with the institution of marriage. According to Levitical Law when anyone is caught in the act of adultry (two wittness rule still applying) either or both are to be stoned to death. that would make anyone think twice about plowing a furrow in another field! true there are many crimes today not even imagined 5,000 years ago but i am confident that the righteous elders (all male of course) would be able to cast lots to determine the will of the almighty in such cases. thank you for considering me and look for my follow-up mailings encouraging your county and our sovereign state to return our judicial system to a time of holy writ.
groucho
nobody is going to read this because it is too long.............LOL
Active Ink Slinger
A Blonde went to the ocean and she decided to get a permanent reminder of her visit because she had such a good time. So she decided to get a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh (because thats where we all decide to get them)!
She went home and things were well. She brought home a man one night and they were getting hot and heavy and down to business when all of a sudden her man friend saw her tattoo. He asked her about it and she said, ''If you put your ear close enough to it you can smell the fish!!!''
She went home and things were well. She brought home a man one night and they were getting hot and heavy and down to business when all of a sudden her man friend saw her tattoo. He asked her about it and she said, ''If you put your ear close enough to it you can smell the fish!!!''
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by roccotool
Tech feels she's the luckiest woman in the world, having two men she's in love with.
Whether people agree with our relationship or not doesn't concern us. We only know it works for us.
Tech is the luckiest woman in the world. She has not only 1 but 2 men who love and care for her deeply! Whether other people agree or not does not matter.....what matters is what makes you guys happy! Good for you!
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Ryario_Darkstar
I personally would like to go nuts with the licking getting my tongue everywhere it could reach, I've wanted to do it for so long now,
If id stayed with my ex just one more month she'd probly let me do it....
OK.....So it seems to me that you have never been down on a girl before? What's wong with you? Seriously!!!!!
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by CyberRenegade
I didn't have insurance... I was being cheap so I turned down the insurance offer. Too bad. It doesn't matter, I have a Blackberry, PSP, iPhone and a bunch of other electronic devices in order to stay alert with work.
Oh and if you ever need anyone to chat with fystee...
BTW....People who openly brag about what they have are usually over compensating for something that they don't!
Active Ink Slinger
Dear Pixie,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but our socks don't match. I think I realized it When I tripped on peanut butter In your car and I Sit on My boyfriend. I'm sure you're Middle-class enough to understand That we’re related. I'm returning Our matching snoopy underwear, but I'll keep Your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I Told in my confession today about the moose poaching and I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Warm tingly sensations,
fystee
I don't really know how to tell you this, but our socks don't match. I think I realized it When I tripped on peanut butter In your car and I Sit on My boyfriend. I'm sure you're Middle-class enough to understand That we’re related. I'm returning Our matching snoopy underwear, but I'll keep Your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I Told in my confession today about the moose poaching and I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Warm tingly sensations,
fystee
Active Ink Slinger
I am totally with nic on this one....I am only here to cyber with hot guys!
oh yeah, and I am looking for a husband too!!!!
(mind you he has to have a good job.....or at the very least A JOB period!!!!)
oh and a boat and a vacation house would be nice too!!!
btw....Cyber, I seem to destroy my cellphone every 3 months....lol! Good thing for insurance!
oh yeah, and I am looking for a husband too!!!!
(mind you he has to have a good job.....or at the very least A JOB period!!!!)
oh and a boat and a vacation house would be nice too!!!
btw....Cyber, I seem to destroy my cellphone every 3 months....lol! Good thing for insurance!
