Thanks for asking this, Shylass. I was wondering the same thing!
I hope some Doms and Subs respond to this. I'd love to know more about the whole D/S experience, where Lush is concerned.
Sure.
I think it's great that he's willing to, but by the time he gets around to it, he's already spent so much time down there that I'm exhausted and just want to crash.
When I can (I'm currently on doctor's orders not to work out, due to some heart problems I've developed as a result of another medical condition), I generally do the elliptic and power lift. An hour and a half, three times a week. I used to run 30 miles a week, and am considering getting back into running once my doctor gives me the "O.K." (miss the rush!) But to keep in shape, I find power lifting to be the superior way to stay fit.
I'm really glad you asked this question. Being trained in cognitive behavioralism, I think negative comments are motivated by different things (and often take different forms).
The first type (which is inherent to any site that allows registered users the ability to remain anonymous) are borne of pure ill-intent. Some people enjoy the apparent free-license that anonymity provides, and they abuse it. These people tend to be complete "losers" in real life. They are often absolutely asocial (if not even harboring antisocial tendencies), and sites like this provide them the opportunity to symbolically punish all the people who've ever "wronged" them. TROLLS, in internet speak. They are the bottom feeders of society. Rather than look introspectively, they seek to insult and degrade others in a misguided effort to make themselves feel better. They suck.
Then there are people who just have a (compensatory) inflated sense of self and feel they have the right to be critical of others because they feel they are somehow intellectually superior. It's the product of true narcissism (which occurs when someone is so deeply insecure that they spend all their energy trying to overcompensate by convincing themselves they are so much better than everyone else). You tend to see these types often go around offering criticism under the pretense of being helpful, but the funny thing is: they've either never posted anything, themselves (ironically, often due to their fear of receiving negative feedback) or, if they have, they aren't any better at writing than anyone else. Those people also tend to have some asociability to their personalities, and they hide behind their intellect when dealing with others because they feel inferior, otherwise. The same goes for people who envy the writing abilities of others and are too insecure to appreciate a great piece simply because they didn't author it. It's juvenile and silly, but there are some silly, juvenile people out there, so it's to be expected at times.
True constructive criticism, honestly, is better offered only when solicited. One might argue that, by virtue of posting a story with comments enabled, you are de facto asking for constructive criticism, but I don't know that this can be assumed. As a general rule, if I cannot find a reason to rate it better than a three, I will often just not vote.
If I feel someone has great potential as a story teller, but see one glaring (and easily correctable) issue with their writing, I might offer them a polite suggestion if I feel they are open to it. I prefer sending a personal message about it rather than posting it publicly, and I ALWAYS offer great praise with regard to what they've done well.
A great rule of thumb (taken from the laws of management) is that, before you consider leaving feedback that might be construed as critical, find some good things to say about a piece, and never be stingy with compliments. As the (paraphrased) saying goes, "Be most generous with compliments, and most stingy with criticisms." Great advice from which everyone could benefit.
At the end of the day, once you factor out the trolls and flames, what you often end up with are remarks from people who are generally kind-hearted and well-meaning, and have taken time out of their busy day to read your work. Something about what you've written speaks to them enough to compel them to leave a comment and, to me, that's always worth appreciating.
As far as receiving criticism goes, I think it does us all good to consider its origin and, once you have determined what TYPE of negative feedback you've received, you can take it or leave it. If all someone does is offer negative feedback, ignore it. If they couldn't take the time to find something nice to say about your work, they are probably insincere, anyhow. Don't waste your own time worrying about their opinion.
particulate.
disenfranchised.
irreverent.
avaricious.
Bumping on the "loose vs. lose". People, you do NOT loose your virginity. You lose it; then you can become "loose", if you want.
Also, who's vs. whose.
Who's= contraction of "who is"; informal (this is why Word always underlines these things with squiglies);
Whose=demonstrative of possession.
Just like it's vs. its.
Who's coming to dinner?
It doesn't really matter whose jacket it may be, it's going into lost and found.
I seem to attract obsessive/possessive types IRL.
I'm a Southern Belle at heart, so I would like him to:
hold the door for me
open my car door, wait for me to get in, and close it
pull my chair out for me
stand when I rise to leave the table
stand when I return to the table
offer me his coat when I'm chilly
offer to allow me to taste the wine first
Wait until I begin to eat before he does (unless I encourage him to first)
Call me ma'am or miss if we are unfamiliar (I will always encourage him to call me by my first name, then)
These are not mandatory, obviously, but they ARE typical standards of etiquette, and it's too bad more men don't abide by them. I've raised my 15-year old son to do these things, and I love that he will. I wish more parents would take the time to teach their children manners.
I wasn't raised with manners, so it's not really an excuse for anyone to say they weren't raised that way, so they don't do it. I never hold it against anyone if they are not this well mannered but, if they are, it DEFINITELY leaves a wonderful impression. My husband stood out among others for these very habits.
It's all about the first story I published (which also happened to be true, making me very, very naughty). That, and they are my two favorite pastimes (being naughty, and being a mommy...just not together. Sorry, guys).
Sex in the laundry room of our apartment complex....on a Sunday evening. ;)
Yes, as long as he's not brutal or anything. I love when a man wants me so much that he cannot control the urge to take me.
Not now I'm busy!
