First wife: Dates, okay, but too sticky
Second wife: Cactus figs, deliscious, but you end up with a skin full off needlesharp barbed spikes
Edit: Second wife is not formally my ex yet, I'm still friends with both of them, and I intend to keep it that way
Oh no, it's not you, and I bet it's not your last attempt either.
Granted, you've turned into a bee queen and all you have to do and think about is eat, sleep and lay eggs.
I wish i could teleport
Why didn't they take off our handcuffs?
I've done many things succesfully, cleaning offices, bread baker, delivery driver, furniture salesman and I've even been a soldier. After that I've been Information Systems Designer, change manager, test manager, project manager. I didn't like being a manager though, because it took me away from the creative process, so in the end I chose to be simply a software engineer, a programmer+ so to speak, and I was damn good too. Until mainframes became obsolete and at the same time my family became a bit larger. I decided to be a stay at home dad. Have been that for the past eight years now, and I don't regret it.
Hey ladies, y'all seem to forget who really is sexiest! Me!
Yes
Have you ever masturbated in a booth in a very busy public bathroom?
I will never get tired of seeing people being or becoming happy
Your mom swallowed every drop
Disasters sometimes are very personal
Splash! Swimming underwater towards Trinket
Damn Jamie, you beat me...
Sort of. As a kid I picked strawberries for some pocketmoney. I think that I ate a case for every ten I picked.
HYE eaten so much strawberries, that you had to throw up?
Nope
TPBM wants to be spanked
Yes, and survived.
HYE played the anthem in the presence of royalty?
Get ready for some serious snogging Poppy
No, I prefer billiard
TPBM is watching Europa League (Manchester Utd against Midtjylland)
Goodmorning sunshine, want your breakfast here?
Innocent
Have you ever entered a soccer stadium illegally during an importanf match? (Guilty)
A few words on from the woman I love