Quote by The_Young_Swell
Attention: Fizzgig

1. I have one last can of Classic Chicken Fancy Feast which I mistakenly bought nearly two years ago. One of these days you must stop turning up your nose at everything that isn’t fish.

2. The cat kibble is meant for you to eat if I’m too busy to feed you the exact instant you decide you’re hungry. It wasn’t intended to act as a hunger alarm that you rattle about in your bowl until it’s so irritating I have to stop what I’m doing and get your real tinned food out of the refrigerator.

3. If you insist upon preceding me from behind as I walk about the room, you’re going to get stepped on again.

4. It was cute, if sappy, when you started sleeping on my head as a kitten, but now you’re over two years old and weight more than ten pounds. Go sleep on your own pillow!

5. A lady from the next apartment building was trying to emulate us, walking her cat on a leash, dragging the poor thing spitting and snarling for half a block before she gave up. Now that you can talk, if you don’t tell her I won’t tell her that you are “walking” me, and not vice versa.

6. Keep up the good work as The Shoe Police. Any guy foolish enough to wear loafers with tassels on them deserves to be humiliated.

Quote by slipperywhenwet2012





I'm glad I'm not the one that had to say it.