Ball gag, though I see the appeal of the dildo gag. Ordering off menu I'd call for a ring gag.
who would you rather tease to distraction, a man or a woman?

Yup. I got stabbed. I was letting an enthusiastic woman play with a beautiful damasscas steel blade and she slipped and it went an inch into my hip. I had to safe word and and while lost in the endorphins from being in sub space walk her through treating the wound while the sub part of my brain just wanted her to do it again. Endorphins make me dum.
HYE hoped a partner would safeword?