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Awakenings Ch. 06

The beginning of a weekend in San Francisco
Jeanne kissed me and said, "Michael, I'm starving and I'll bet you are too."

"I am."

"Got any ideas about dinner?"

"How about some seafood? That is the Pacific Ocean out there."

"That's a wonderful idea. Do you know any good restaurants?"

"There's a very nice sea food cafe on Geary Street."

"Is that very far away?"

"Maybe a mile."

"Is it fancy?"

"Do you want fancy? If you do we can go the Cliff House. It's at the bottom of the hill."

"Let's do that tomorrow night. Tonight I want casual."

"The seafood cafe will be perfect."

"I'd like to take a shower first, want to join me?"

"I just took a shower, but I'd love to watch?"

"I didn't know I was married to a voyeur."

"You've always been a little inhibited about letting me see you naked. I never had a chance to be a voyeur."

Jeanne sighed. "Michael, I'm sorry, I really was a prude."

I shrugged.

Smiling, Jeanne said, "I'm not a prude anymore." She sat down on the bed, spread her legs and started fingering her shaved cunt. "You can even watch me masturbate. Would you like that? Would you like to watch your slut wife get herself off?"

Laughing, I said, "I would like that, but let's do it after dinner."

Jeanne stood up. As she stripped off her lingerie she said, "You're right, we're both starving; but you can still watch me shower and maybe I'll even let you wash my pussy, my ass and my tits for me."

"I think this afternoon is the first time I've ever heard you say the word tits."

"I know. Mine are big and when I was teenager I was taught to be ashamed of them. I tried to conceal them. Everyone told me that only sluts have large breasts."


"The other girls in my high school. The boys did, too. At the end of a date they all got really aggressive. They couldn't keep their hands off of me. When I wouldn't let them touch me, they said I was frigid. I told my mother what was happening. She encouraged me to try to hide my breasts. She started buying me loose fitting blouses, bulky sweaters and oversized sweatshirts."

"You never told me that."

"It wasn't easy to talk about it."

I nodded.

"But it's okay now. I'm not ashamed of them anymore. In fact I'm proud of them. I enjoy showing them off. It used to embarrass me when men stared at them. Now it makes me feel desirable."

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you felt so insecure about your body."

"It's not your fault. I never told you. It was my deep secret."

"I should have known. I didn't. I just thought you were prudish. I did try to compliment you about your figure, but when I did it, you almost always ignored me."

"I know. It was hard to accept compliments about something that had always been a source of shame for me. It was easier to nod politely or ignore them all together."

"I should have done something."

"There wasn't anything you could do. Overcoming my insecurity about my body was a personal challenge that I had to confront on my own." She walked over to me, picked up my hand and placed it on one of her breasts. "I have finally vanquished that demon. Now I love it when you see me naked. I want you to stare at me. I'm proud of my body."

"You should be, you have a gorgeous figure."

Grinning at me, Jeanne took my hand from her breast. As she pulled me into the bathroom, she said, "Come on studman, you can watch me take a shower."

As soon as Jeanne was under the shower spray, she washed her face and neck. After rinsing herself she handed the bar of soap to me and said, "You can do the rest."

I did. I washed her breasts first. I couldn't wait. It was wonderful. I washed her back and tummy next and then I got down on my knees and did her legs and her feet. I was saving the best for last.

After finishing Jeanne's feet, I stood up and washed her butt cheeks. As I moved to do her pussy, she said, "You didn't finish my ass."

I looked at her with a puzzled expression.

"You didn't wash my asshole."

I stared at Jeanne in shock.

She laughed. "Now who's being prudish?"

That was a challenge. Grinning, I said, "It's not going to be me."

Still laughing Jeanne leaned against the shower stall wall and stuck out her butt. "Okay, go to work."

Excited, I rubbed the bar of soap up and down the crack of Jeanne's ass then I washed her with my fingers tips. As I was washing her, I said, "This is the first time I've ever touched you here."

"I know, it feels funny to have you touch me there, but it's nice funny. I like it. Will you do something for me?"

"Sure, what do want?"

"Would you soap up your finger and push it into my asshole."


"Are you being prudish again?"

"No, but it is taking me a little time to get used to the new Jeanne."

"Do you like her?"

"Yes I do, very much."

"Good, because being the new Jeanne is a lot more fun than being the old Jeanne."

"It's sure a lot more fun to shower with her."

"So, will you do it?"

"Do you really want me to?"

"Yes, I do."

"What was it you wanted me to do? Tell me once more."

"Are you teasing me?"

"A little, but mostly I want to hear you say asshole again. Hearing you talk dirty is fun."

Giggling, Jeanne said, "Asshole, cunt, cock, tits, fuck, suck."

We both laughed.

"Now will you please push your finger into my asshole?"

"Yes ma'am, I'll be happy to accommodate you."

"Soap it up good."

"I will."

I lathered the area around Jeanne's anus and then I soaped up my middle finger and tentatively pushed it into her.

Jeanne gasped. I hesitated.

She said, "Don't stop. It feels good. Push it in farther."

"You're sure?"

"Oh, I am absolutely positive."

I pushed my finger in to the first knuckle. The soap was a good lubricant. My finger slid in easily.

Jeanne said, "Deeper."


"Yes, it feels good. Push your finger in all the way."

"Okay." I pushed my finger in to the second knuckle."

"Oh, hell yes! Now fuck me. Finger fuck my asshole."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, please do it."

I started slowly pushing my finger in and out of Jeanne's anus. Feeling a little tentative about what I was doing, I tried to be gentle.

She cooed, "That feels good, go faster."

Jeanne's encouragement bolstered my confidence. I quickened the pace.

"Yes, that's good, but faster. Do it faster."

I intensified the pace even more.

"Oh god yes! That's it, finger fuck my asshole." Jeanne moved her right hand to her pussy and started rubbing herself. "Michael this is amazing. Do it faster! Fuck my ass with your finger. Fuck it hard!"

Aroused by Jeanne's unbridled excitement, I fucked her ass even harder with my finger.

Suddenly, I felt the muscles in Jeanne's body tighten. For a moment she was perfectly still, then she screamed and her entire body started to shake.

Frightened, I pulled my finger out of Jeanne's ass and held her tightly to me. While I was certain that I knew what was happening, it was still unsettling.

Gradually Jeanne's body relaxed. I continued to hold her. While I held her the spray from the shower pelted our naked bodies with warm water. I didn't care. I don't believe that I'd ever felt as alive as I did at that moment.

Strength and control quickly returned to Jeanne's body. Turning, she kissed me hard on the lips. I kissed her back. After we kissed we held each other tightly. A steady spray of warm water was still raining down on us.

Finally, Jeanne pulled away and said, "Michael that was magnificent."

"Yeah, I liked it too." And then laughing, I added, "Remember that image of the pristine wife and mother that you tried to maintain for all those years?"


"You just shattered it."

Jeanne smiled, "Good, it needed to be shattered."

We stared at each other in silence. After a moment, Jeanne asked, "Michael, I'm a slut. Can you still love me?"

"Yes, of course I can." I grinned. "I'm beginning to understand that living with a slut is going to be a whole lot of fun."

"Do you really mean that?"

"I do, but I'm still going to need some time to get used to this new life style."

Sighing, Jeanne said, "I understand. Let's get dressed."

I started putting my clothes back on. Jeanne picked up her dress. As she was hanging it in the closet I asked, "How long can you stay?"

"I don't have to go back until Sunday afternoon. Is that all right?"

"It's wonderful. That gives us two whole days together. Is this all right with your bosses?"

"I didn't give them much choice. I didn't ask. This morning I called and told them I was going. I've worked hard for that firm for ten years. They can accommodate me on this"

"What if they don't?"

"I can easily live on the monthly check from the trust fund you set up for me before you left. I'd like to work, but if I have to do it I can get by without a job."

Jeanne folded her lingerie and glanced at the four drawer dresser next to the bed.

"Are you using all four drawers?"

"Just the top two."

"Can I have the bottom two?"

"Of course."

After putting her lingerie into the second drawer from the bottom Jeanne opened her travel bag and unpacked it. She had two pairs of slacks and several blouses. She hung one pair of slacks and two of the blouses in the closet. She laid the other pair of slacks, a blouse and a pair of thong panties on the bed and then she put an assortment of stockings and undergarments in the drawers.

When that was finished Jeanne picked up her makeup kit and walked into the bathroom. "I have to put on some makeup. It won't take long."

She left the bathroom door open. She was still naked. I watched.

She started with her eye makeup. I noticed that she was applying a much heavier amount of eye shadow and mascara than she used to wear. Next she put on bright red lip gloss and then she sprayed her neck and cleavage with perfume.

As she was putting her perfume away she said, "It's nice to be able to wear perfume. I can't do that when I'm on a date."

"Why not?"

"I only date married men. They can't go home to their wives with the scent of another woman's perfume on them."

"That makes sense, but I never would have thought about it. How did you figure it out?"

"Tricia told me."

"Does Tricia date married men?"

"Occasionally; she doesn't do it a lot. She doesn't have time. She's still with Paul and she gets together with Randy Parkman at least once a week. Randy is married, so I suppose that does count."

"What does Paul think about all of that?"

Jeanne walked over to the bed and picked up her thong panties. As she stepped into them she said, "Paul loves it."

"He loves it?"

"Yes, he really does. Michael some men get excited when their wives date other men. Paul is one of those men. Ruth is starting to figure out that David is too."

"Have you been talking to Ruth about all of this?"

"Every day. I'm advising her to go slow. I don't want her to make the same mistake I made."

"You mean pushing David into something before he's ready for it."

Jeanne stepped into her slacks and pulled them up. She actually had to work at it. They were skin tight. As she fastened the waist button, she said, "That's exactly what I mean."

"I think that's a good idea."

Nodding, Jeanne picked up her blouse, pulled it over her head and tugged it down. It was a beautiful deep burgundy with gold embroidery. It was also skin tight and had a low cut scoop neck that left almost all of her ample cleavage exposed. The thin stretch fabric clung to the small portions of her breasts that were still covered and failed to conceal the bumps of her nipples.

Jeanne walked over to her open travel bag, removed a pair of beige high heeled strappy sandals, sat down on the bed and put them on.

As she fastened the straps, I asked, "Does Jodie date married men too?"

"Occasionally, she's only twenty-three. Right now she's not looking for a serious relationship, so it doesn't make much difference to her. Michael, it's just recreational sex. Nobody's getting hurt."

"I know that, and while I get it, it's going to take a little more time before I'm able to fully embrace that concept. I still have some social conditioning to overcome."

Jeanne nodded and then she stood up and twirled around. "How do I look?"

I grinned. "You're gorgeous, but I have to say that your outfit is a little more daring than what you used to wear."

Giggling, Jeanne said, "A little more daring? Sweetheart, this is a lot more daring. I used to dress like a prude."

"You were a prude."

"Yes I was, but now I'm a slut. Michael, I love being a slut. I love dressing like a slut. I used to be ashamed of my body; now I'm proud of it. I love having big tits and I love showing them off."

Jeanne paused for a moment and then she said, "If it bothers you, I can change. I brought two bras with me and I have a blouse that buttons up the front. If you want me to do it, I'll put it on and button it all the way up to my neck."

Shaking my head, I said, "No, I think you look gorgeous. You're going to draw a few stares, but I can get used to that. In fact I think I might actually learn to enjoy it."

"I really do hope that happens." Jeanne was grinning at me.

The restaurant was crowded, but there was an open table. That was fortunate. Having to stand in line for a table was a common occurrence at the Lincoln Park Seafood cafe.

The hostess led us to our table. I noticed that the eyes of every man and most of the women in the restaurant were focused on Jeanne. I had to admit that it was exciting.

As soon as we were seated, we ordered two glasses of pinot grigio and picked up our menus. By the time our wine arrived, we'd both made our dinner selections. Hungry, we ordered right away. As we ordered I noticed that our server's eyes kept drifting to Jeanne's cleavage. I couldn't blame him, mine did too.

After he left, I said, "Our server seems to be quit taken with you."

Smiling, Jeanne said, "He does seem to be fascinated by my breasts."

"Most of the men in the restaurant seem to share his fascination."

"Is it bothering you?"

"Actually, it isn't. In fact I have to admit that I'm finding it exciting."

"I was hoping that would be your reaction."

We smiled at each other for a moment and then I said, "So tell me about everything that's happening at home."

Jeanne spent the next fifteen minutes filling me in on the mundane details of her life and the girl's lives. I listened intently. It was exactly what I was eager to hear. I missed my family. When she was finished, I told Jeanne about my trip. While I was doing that, our dinners arrived.

We were both starving. For a few minutes, we focused our attention on our food. Once we'd taken the edge off our appetites, we slowed and began talking again.

Jeanne set her fork down and said, "May I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"The night you met that woman."

"Jennifer Rawlins."

"Yes, you said you met her in a bar. Tell me about the bar? Was it a pick up bar?"

Chuckling, I asked, "Are you looking for new places to find men?"

Jeanne smiled, "Maybe a little, but mostly I'm curious about the type of place you go to when you're not with me."

"It was the Cosmopolitan Lounge. It's downtown. It's a jazz piano bar. It's definitely not a pick up bar."

"When you get back will you take me there?"

"I'd love to do that. Will you promise to wear an outfit like the one you're wearing right now?"

"Would you like that?"

"Yeah, I think I would."

"That makes me happy." Jeanne grinned at me.

I grinned back at her.

After a moment she said, "So how did you end up in a conversation with the Rawlins woman?"

"Jeanne, are you jealous?"

Jeanne considered that for a second and then she answered, "Maybe a little, but that's my problem. I understand that I don't have any right to be jealous."

"You also don't have any reason to be jealous."

After acknowledging my statement with a nod, Jeanne continued. "So how did you end up in a conversation with her?"

"We were both sitting at the bar. We just started talking."

"But it's not a pickup bar."

"Definitely not."

"You said that she's divorced and from what you told me about your conversation with her, I gather that she's a sexually adventurous woman. If she doesn't go to pick up bars, how does she meet men?"

"She told me that when she wants to meet a man for sex, she goes to Brady's Pub."

Jeanne laughed. "She's a back seat bunny."

"You don't have to be catty."

"I'm sorry, Michael. I'm not being catty. I'm a backseat bunny, too."

"Okay, so what is a back seat bunny?"

"Brady's Pub is a sports bar at the end of a suburban strip mall."

"I've never been there, but I know where it is."

"I doubt you know this. It has a reputation as a place where the married but cheating crowd get together."

"I wasn't aware of that."

"Of course you weren't. You never cheated on me.

I nodded.

"Brady's isn't your usual pick up bar. It's more of a quickie club."

"A quickie club?"

"Yes, it's a place where husbands out for an evening with the boys and wives out for an evening with the girls can get together for a little quick fun."

"I still don't understand."

"Okay, during the day Brady's is a sports bar, but in the evening it gradually turns into a dance club."

"I didn't know that."

"They don't advertise it. They have a small dance floor and at 6:30 the big screen televisions stop showing sports events and start playing music videos. By that time, people have already had a couple of drinks and done a little mingling. The dancing starts immediately and it quickly gets pretty daring. When you're dancing at Brady's, there's only one rule. You have to keep your clothes on. Beyond that, pretty much anything goes. There's a lot of groping and making out."

"Right on the dance floor, in front of everyone?"

"That's right; it gets pretty hot."

"Isn't 6:30 kind of early?"

"Most of Brady's patrons have to get home to their spouses. By ten the place is dead."

"I see, so what's a back seat bunny?"

"After you and your partner have gotten each other worked up on the dance floor, you move to one of the back booths for a little make out session. Once you're going hot and heavy, you slip out to the guy's car for a little more intense physical pleasure."

"You mean you go out to the guy's car to fuck."

"Some women do that. I don't."

"Why not?"

"Michael, I'm not a teenager. Fucking in the back seat of a car isn't much fun. If I'm going to let a guy fuck me, we're going to do it in a bed."

I nodded. "Okay, I get that. So what do you do?"

"I let the guy play with my tits and pussy while I suck his cock."

"He doesn't do anything for you?"

"It's really easy to suck a guy's cock in a car. It's much harder for a guy to go down on a woman."

"Okay, but doesn't that leave you frustrated?"

"Michael, women don't need to cum every time they have sex. Sometimes a feeling of intimacy is all we want. At Brady's, it's not intimacy, it's excitement. The dirty dancing, making out with a stranger in a back booth and fondling and sucking a new cock combine to create an exhilarating experience. If I need to get off, I can do it with my vibrator when I get home."

"You masturbate?"

"Of course I do. I assume that you do, too. Don't you do it while you're watching the Julia Ann movies?"

Feeling slightly ashamed, I said, "Yes."

"Of course you do and so do I. I do it all the time. I did it in front of you for a few seconds when I first got to the motel. We'd be crazy not to do it. It's free, it feels great and it doesn't hurt anything or anyone. I'd be shocked if you told me you didn't masturbate."

"I really am getting to like the new Jeanne." I was grinning again.

Jeanne stared at me for a moment and then she asked, "Even the Jeanne who has sex with other men?"

Understanding the seriousness of her question, I carefully considered my answer. Finally I said, "Right now I'm two thousand miles away from that situation." I paused and then I added, "Unless you're planning to try to meet a guy while you're here."

Still serious, Jeanne shook her head. "No, I came to see you and only you."

"Thank you."

Jeanne nodded.

Continuing, I said, "It's harder when it's happening if front of me. Being in the same house with you while you were getting ready for your date with Derek Fischer nearly destroyed me."

"I was a fool. I should have spent the two weeks prior to that date trying to suck and fuck you to death."

"That would have helped. I think this weekend will help."

"I'm hoping it will." Jeanne paused, and after a moment she said, "That's not the only reason I'm here. You do know that, don't you?"

"Yeah, don't worry; I know that."

Jeanne reached across the table and placed her hand on top of mine.

Suddenly hurt, I looked at her and pulled my hand away. "You did that with Fischer."

Jeanne closed her eyes and sighed. "Yes, I did, and for the rest of my life I'll regret doing it. I promise you that I will never again hold another man's hand while were dining in a restaurant."

I nodded, but I wasn't mollified and my demeanor showed it.

"Would you like to hear why I think I did it? Remember, a few minutes ago I told you that I didn't even like Derek Fischer. He was a convenient fuck and that's all he was."

"Okay, tell me. Why did you do it?"

"Earlier this evening, while we were in the shower, I had an orgasm."

"I know."

"Before I changed, when I was still Jeanne the prude, I didn't have many orgasms. In fact, they were rare."

I sighed.

"Michael, that didn't have anything to do with you. You're a wonderful lover. It was me. Most of the times we made love, I was too inhibited to have an orgasm. I couldn't relax and let go."


"But I did have a few orgasms. I had them on our most romantic evenings. Those were often the nights we had dinner at the Kennsington Grill. I came to the conclusion that a little romance helped me get off. Of course, I stupidly missed the fact that it was my intense love for you that made the romance so wonderful and exciting."

I smiled at Jeanne.

She smiled back and then she continued. "Anyway, the night I went out with Derek, I wanted to have an orgasm, so I foolishly tried to recreate the circumstances that had led up to my previous orgasms. Michael, I asked Derek to take me to the Kennsington Grill and while we were there, I did everything I could to make it a romantic experience. I now realize how stupid that was and I hope that I haven't ruined romantic evenings for us."

I reached across the table and laid my hand on top of Jeanne's. "No, you haven't ruined romantic evenings for us, but this is a good example of why we need to talk."

"Thank you, Michael."

I winked at Jeanne.

She giggled.

I said, "I gather you now cum easily."

"I do. I'm not inhibited anymore. Now it's easy for me to relax and enjoy sex." She paused for a moment and then she asked, "Does that upset you?"

"No not at all. In fact, I want it to make me happy."


"Yes, I love you. Hearing about things that give you pleasure should make me happy. Charles told me that he eventually learned to enjoy Edith's affairs because they made her so happy. I'm trying to reach a point where I feel the same way about your liaisons."

"But you're not there yet."

"No, but I'm getting closer. This visit is helping. Talking is helping. Learning more about your new life is helping. Jeanne, it's obvious that you're having fun. Being with you is fun. I have to admit that I like the new Jeanne."

Grinning, Jeanne said, "Would you like to hear a secret about my orgasms?"

"Yes, very much."

Jeanne leaned across the table and whispered, "When I'm with a guy in his car behind Brady's Pub, if he plays with my tits and my pussy while I'm sucking his cock I almost always cum."

I smiled. "It's that exciting?"

"It really is. I love sucking cocks. They're so incredibly erotic."

"That's a real change for you."

"Oh yes."

"Jeanne, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course, you can ask me anything."

"Since I left, how many men have you slept with?"

"I haven't slept with any men. I told you, you're the only man I'll ever sleep with, but that's not what you're asking me, is it. You'd like to know how many men have fucked me."

I nodded.

"Counting Derek, nine."

I quickly did the math in my head. I'd been gone for three months. That's about thirteen or fourteen weeks. Looking at Jeanne, I said, "That's not very many."

Jeanne laughed. "That's not the reaction I was expecting."

"It less than one guy a week."

Smiling, Jeanne said. "Okay. I understand. For the first month you were gone, I didn't date at all. I just moped around the house. Michael, I was terrified that I'd lost you. Tricia and Jodie finally intervened and told me that I had to get on with my life. They explained that by leaving you were giving me an opportunity to experiment with this life style and you were giving yourself some time to try to understand it."

"Our girls are smart. That's exactly what I was doing."

"Anyway, once I did start dating I brought a man home about once a week. Remember, I was trying to limit myself to one night stands. It takes time to find a suitable partner. I may be a slut, but I'm not going to let a man fuck me unless I find him attractive, and that includes an attractive personality."

"That makes sense."

"The guy also has to have some time. Remember I only date married men."

"I get it. Either his wife has to be out or he has to have a good excuse for coming home late."

"That's why Brady's is so much fun. It's quick and easy."

I laughed. "Your nine doesn't include the men at Brady's does it."

"They don't fuck me."

"How often do you go to Brady's?"

"Once or twice a week."

"So that's another eight to ten men."

"I think it's more like ten to twelve." Suddenly concerned about what she'd just admitted Jeanne looked at me and asked, "Is that okay?"

"Are you having fun?"

"I really am."

"Then I'm going to try very hard to be happy for you."

"Michael, while I'm here, could we find a secluded place to park? I'd like to give you a blow job in your car."

"We have a perfectly good motel room."

"I know, but I want you to experience everything I'm doing with other men."

"Okay, it will be fun. Do you want to do it on the way back to the motel tonight?"

"No, this evening I have another agenda. Unless you've turned into a superstud, I'm assuming that you only have two more erections left in you. I don't want to waste them. As soon as we get back to the motel, I want you to fuck my pussy. After you cum inside me I'm going to suck your cock until your hard again and then I want you to fuck my virgin ass."

Laughing, I said, "I like this plan, but do you think I could possibly have a chance to eat your pussy too?"

"Would you like to do that?"

"Very much."

Jeanne licked her lips and said, "Let's get our check."

On the way back to the motel, Jeanne was quiet. Sensing that something was bothering her I said, "You're suddenly awfully quiet. Is something wrong?"

Jeanne looked at me and asked, "Michael, do you think I've lost my mind?"

Realizing that it was a serious question, I took a moment to formulate my answer. Finally, I said, "I did at first. The night you went out with Derek Fischer, I thought you'd gone totally bonkers."

Jeanne laughed.

I smiled and then I said, "I don't think that anymore. I don't believe your bipolar. I don't believe that you're having a manic episode. You're explanation of how you arrived at your decision to adopt this new life style is too well thought out."

"I made some awful mistakes with you."

"You did, but you were trying to make a radical change in your life. It was an emotional situation. I think errors in judgment can easily occur in situations like that."

"Thank you, Michael."

I continued. "Maybe the real question is do I think what you're doing is wrong?"

Jeanne stared at me.

I said, "You're now choosing to live a life that goes against the basic moral conventions of our culture. We've discussed that and it's clear that you've thought about those moral codes and rejected them. I have to admit that your arguments make some sense. Ultimately I have to evaluate what you're doing using my own moral code. Are you hurting anybody? I don't believe you are, so it's difficult for me to say that what you're doing is wrong."

"I've hurt you."

"I'm not so sure you have. You've upset me and it is possible that you've damaged our relationship, but that will only be the case if I decide that I can't live with a woman who has your moral code. That's my problem, not yours. As long as you're not hurting anyone, you get to live the life that makes you happy."


"Just a moment. Have you really hurt me? I don't think you have. Have you stopped loving me?"

"No, of course I haven't"

"I know that. You've made it clear that for you, sex can be a purely recreational activity."

"That's true."

"If you'd taken up golf, should I be upset if you play golf a couple of times a week with other men? As long as you continue playing golf with me on a regular basis, I don't think I should be"

Jeanne laughed. "I'll always want to play lots of golf with you."

"I believe that, so in my mind there are only two real issues that concern us. Can I handle being married to a woman with your moral code? And is there still a place for me in your new life?"

We were both silent. Finally Jeanne picked up my hand and said, "I'll always love you."

I squeezed her hand and said, "And I'll always love you."

"Even if you decide that you can't continue living with me?"

"Yes, I will. If you eventually decide that there isn't a place for a husband in your new life, will you still love me?"

"Yes, I will, but I don't think I'll ever make that decision."

"I'm not as confident about that as you are, and that's why we need a year to figure all of this out."

"I want to try, Michael, I really do."

"I do too, Jeanne."

"I'm willing to compromise."

"So am I, but let's not worry about that until we decide it's necessary."


I pulled up to our motel room door and parked.

Grinning at me, Jeanne asked, "Are you ready for some hot sex?"

"Damn right."

She opened her door, hopped out of the car and ran to the motel room. I followed her.

As soon as we were inside the room, Jeanne threw her arms around my shoulders and started madly kissing me. As she kissed me, she said, "Michael Nolan, I'll never stop loving you."

I kissed her back and said, "I'll never stop loving you either, Jeanne Nolan."

For a moment we passionately kissed, both of us desperately trying to express the depth of our love for each other.

Finally Jeanne broke off the kiss, stepped back and started undressing. "Michael, take off your clothes."

Keeping my eyes focused on Jeanne, I tore off my shirt.

Jeanne pulled her blouse over her head and took it off. After laying it on the bed, she turned to me and held up her large breasts. "Look at my tits, Michael, do you like them?"

I laughed. "I love them."

"When we're both naked you can suck on them. Would you like to do that?"

Grinning, I unbuckled my belt and pushed my trousers to the floor. My erection was making a tent in the front of my boxer shorts.

Giggling, Jeanne said, "Your little soldier appears to like my tits. Do you think he'd like to kiss them? Would you like to rub your cock all over big tits?"

As I stepped out of my trousers, I smiled. I was definitely getting to like the new Jeanne. I tossed my pants on the bed and pulled my boxer shorts down.

While I was doing that Jeanne unfastened her high heeled sandals and removed them. Then she turned around and stuck our her rear. As she wiggled out of her slacks she said, "I love wearing tight pants. They show off my ass. Michael, do you like my ass?"

Smiling at Jeanne's boldness, I said, "Your ass is gorgeous. I love it."

Jeanne stepped out of her slacks. After tossing them on the bed she turned around and stared into my eyes. Licking her lips, she slowly pushed her thong panties down her thighs. I stared at her shaved sex.

She giggled. "You like my shaved pussy, don't you?"

I nodded.

"Wanna lick it?"

I nodded again.

Jeanne took off her panties and then she picked up all of our clothes. As she carefully laid them across the top of the dresser, she said, "Pull down the bed covers, we need a place to play."

Jeanne waited while I pulled the bed spread and blanket down and then she hopped onto the bed, plumped up the pillows and lay back with her legs spread wide. As I stared at her already moist pussy, she said, "Still wanna eat me?"

"Very much." And then I quickly added. "Getting used to the new Jeanne is going to be fun, but at times it's also a little startling."

"I have to work at it, too. It's not easy to shed old inhibitions. Sometimes I shock myself." Jeanne paused. After a moment she added, "Michael, I don't want to be an old prude anymore, I really don't."

"I don't want that either. I'm enjoying the new Jeanne. I just want you to know that there are times when you surprise me. I spent a lot of years living with the old Jeanne."

"I'm glad you like the new Jeanne. I like her too."

"And that's what matters the most. Jeanne, you have to be true to yourself."

"I'm relieved to hear you say that, Michael." We smiled at each other for a moment and then Jeanne said, "So back to my question. Do you still want to eat me?"

"Very much."

Jeanne wiggled her finger at me. "Come here big boy. It's time for your dessert, and after you finish yours I'm going to have mine."

During the twenty-seven years we'd been married, Jeanne had occasionally allowed me to go down on her, but she'd always been reluctant. Squeamish might be a better term to describe her feelings about it. Now she was clearly excited by the idea and her excitement fed my excitement.

I eagerly crawled between her parted thighs, placed my hands on her hips and gently pulled her to me. As I kissed her moist lips, I felt Jeanne shudder.

I kissed her again. Jeanne whispered, "Michael, that feels so nice."

I gave her a long passionate kiss. Jeanne sighed.

I extended my tongue and explored her wet cunt. I tasted her. I felt her moisture on my lips.

Above me Jeanne whispered, "Yes, that's what I want. Lick me, lick my cunt."

Jeanne's brazen words inflamed my ardor. Burying my face in her sopping pussy, I licked her and kissed her with a fervor that I'd never before experienced.

"Michael, that feels magnificent." And then, breathless with excitement, Jeanne said, "Find my clit. I want you to lick my clit. Will you do that? Will you please lick my clit?" She was pleading with me.

I found her clit. It wasn't difficult. It was now proudly pushing out from the hood of skin that normally cloaked it.

I kissed it. Jeanne giggled with delight. I kissed it again and then I flicked it with my tongue.

Jeanne cried, "Yes, that's right. Lick it, like my clit."

I licked and flicked Jeanne's clit. While I was doing that, I remembered something I'd seen in a Julia Ann movie. I slipped a finger into Jeanne's pussy."

Gasping, Jeanne said, "Oh my god, that's amazing. Do it. Finger fuck my cunt while you lick my clit."

I did. We were both quickly swept up in a frenzy of unbridled lust. Suddenly, I felt Jeanne's muscles tense. She froze and then she arched her back and screamed. I pulled back and waited while the waves of pleasure ravaged her body.

Gradually Jeanne's orgasm subsided and then she was calm. I crawled up next to her and gently kissed her cheek. She rolled over so that she was facing me. I kissed her again.

Jeanne smiled and said, "Thank you, that was wonderful."

"I enjoyed it too."

We lay together quietly. After a moment Jeanne sat up and said, "Now it's your turn." She once again plumped up the pillows. As I lay back on them, Jeanne scooted down the bed, slipped between my legs and picked up my erect cock. "I'm going to try to keep you from cumming. When you cum I want you in my cunt."

I nodded.

Jeanne licked the entire length of my cock, and then she slipped it into her mouth and sucked it. While she sucked it, I felt her fingers massaging my balls. The sensations she was creating were unbelievable. My excitement grew quickly.

Just as I began to fear that I might not be able to control myself, Jeanne took my cock out of her mouth. While she gently held it with one hand, I felt her slip farther down between my legs and suck one of my balls into her mouth. This was what I'd seen her doing with Derek Fischer that Saturday morning.

For a moment I felt pangs of anger and jealousy, but then I remembered Jeanne's heartfelt apologies and sincere attempts to explain what had happened. I now understood that she hadn't meant to hurt me. She'd been trying to muddle through a difficult period of growth and change. She'd made mistakes.

While her changes had been difficult, the result was a new Jeanne and I knew without any doubt that this new Jeanne was a wonderfully exciting person. I relaxed, closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensations she was creating as she kissed and licked my balls.

Suddenly Jeanne let go of my cock and got up on her knees. As she straddled my hips she grinned at me and said, "I'll suck you some more later. Right now, it's time to fuck. Do you mind if I start out on top?"

Grinning back at her, I said, "Not at all."

As Jeanne lowered herself on to my erection she said, "In this position you can play with my tits while we fuck."

The new Jeanne really was wonderful.

For several minutes, we fucked. Having Jeanne on top of me riding my cock was a new experience. It was amazing. It was wonderful. It was something I'd only dreamed of doing with her. Now we were actually doing it.

I was excited, wildly excited. I closed my eyes and tried to focus my attention. I had to do it. If I didn't I was afraid that I might cum prematurely. I didn't want that to happen. Jeanne now had other lovers, men she could compare me to.

We kept fucking, but anxiety began worming it's way into my mind. I started to worry that I might fail, and if I failed, I feared that Jeanne might decide that I wasn't as good as her other men.

I felt my erection softening. I panicked. And then it happened. My penis wilted and slipped out of Jeanne.

Surprised, Jeanne stared down at me. "Michael what happened?"

I closed my eyes.

Sliding off of me, Jeanne whispered, "Baby, it's okay." Her tone was soft and soothing.

That made it even worse. I didn't want to be comforted. It made me feel like a little boy who couldn't compete with the big kids. Humiliated, I turned away from Jeanne.

For a moment there was silence, and then Jeanne said, "Michael, please tell me what's wrong?"

I didn't respond. I was too embarrassed to speak.

Moving so that she was lying next to me, Jeanne pressed her soft body against my back, wrapped her arm around my chest and whispered, "I love you, I really do."

I knew she was telling me the truth, but I was still humiliated.

For several minutes I lay silent while Jeanne held me. Her undemanding touch comforted me. Gradually, I regained some composure. Realizing that we had to talk about this, I took a moment to steel myself, then I rolled over and said, "You have other men now. I'm sure that some of them are better than I am. They can last longer than I can. They can make you cum more than I can."

Sighing, Jeanne said, "This is one of the penalties I have to pay for my stupidity." She sat up. "For the rest of my life, I'll regret dropping this on you out of the blue. Before I started experimenting with other men I should have spent months making sure that you knew you were my favorite lover, my best lover, my perfect lover. Michael, the other men will never be able to compete with you."

"Are you trying to tell me that some of them don't have bigger cocks than I do? That some of them can't last longer than I can?"

"No, that would be a lie. Some of them do have cocks that are bigger than yours; some of them can last longer than you can and yes, almost all of them make me cum."

Jeanne paused. After a moment she said, "But none of them fulfill me like you do. Michael, I love you. You're my soul mate. The other men are fun, but that's all they are and that's all they'll ever be. They're cheap thrills, carnival rides. Yes, it's true, I do enjoy them, but I also enjoy roller coasters and scary movies. Michael, I know this will be hard for you to understand, but you're not competing with these other men. You've already won that contest. You have me. I love you. You own my heart and my soul. Other men occasionally get to enjoy my body, but that's all they get and that's all they'll ever get."


"Michael, I now realize that I made a serious mistake. I was stupid. I was eager to experiment, but I forgot that I needed to experiment with you first. For years you were saddled with a sex partner who was an uptight prude. Suddenly, all of my inhibitions are gone and I'm doing things with you that you've only been able to fantasize about in the past. You're excited. Of course you're going to cum quickly."

Jeanne thought for a moment and then she said, "There are going to be men who have bigger cocks than you do and some of them are going to be better at fucking than you are, but that doesn't mean you won't always be my favorite sex partner. If I started playing golf, I'd probably meet some men who are better golfers than you are and while occasionally playing with them would be fun, you would always be my favorite golf partner. I love you."

"Jeanne, I know I should believe you. I want to believe you. Actually, I think I do believe you. The fact that you're here says a lot. Still, this is hard."

"I know it is, Michael. I'm sorry I'm putting you through it. I wish I'd done a better job of preparing you for it."

Shrugging, I said, "That's in the past and there isn't anything we can do to change it. Right now you're doing a good job of making me feel loved and important to you."

"You are loved and important to me. No man will ever be more important to me."

"I'm beginning to believe that, but I still worry that whenever we make love, you'll be comparing me to the other men."

Jeanne thought for a moment and then she said, "I suppose I will be. It would be hard to avoid doing that. That doesn't mean that you won't always be my favorite sex partner."

"Because you love me."

"That's right and that adds so much excitement to our sex. Please believe me, Michael, sex with you will always be better than sex with any other man."

"So why are you doing this?"

"You mean the other men."


"Michael, you like ice cream."

Immediately realizing where Jeanne was going I laughed and said, "Yes I do and while chocolate chip will always be my favorite flavor, I do occasionally enjoy other flavors."

"But you always go back to chocolate chip, don't you?"

"Yes, I do."

"Baby, you're my chocolate chip."

I grinned at Jeanne. She kissed me. I kissed her back.

She whispered, "I love you so much."

I whispered back, "I love you, too."

"Michael, promise me that while you're gone you'll keep loving me."

"I will. Will you promise that you'll keep loving me?"

"Of course I will."

"I'm sorry I have to be gone. It's something I have to do."

"Michael, I understand what you're doing and why you're doing it. While I don't like it, I have to admit that I agree with it. I foolishly started this journey without you, and because I did that you now need time to come to terms with the changes I made in our lives. You used to have unwavering trust in me. I shook that trust. Now we need time to rebuild it."

"This weekend is helping."

"I was hoping it would. Do you think we could have some more weekends like this?"

"I'd like that."

We smiled at each other.

After a moment, I asked, "So how do I compare to the other men?"


"What? Am I so bad that you're afraid to tell me?"

"Didn't you hear anything that I just said to you?"

"Yes, you told me that you love me and because you love me you'll always enjoy sex with me. That doesn't leave me feeling very confident. Jeanne, you have to understand that ever since that evening you announced that you were going to start dating other men, I've had a nagging fear that it was my inadequacy as a sex partner that drove you to take that action."

"Michael, you know that isn't true."

"Do I? Since that evening, what have you said or done that would make be believe it wasn't true? What I heard you say to Derrick Fischer that Saturday morning certainly didn't boost my confidence."

"What did I say?"

"Don't you remember?"

"No, I don't. That was a horrible morning. I've tried to forget it."

"I think about it all the time. I wish I could forget it, but I can't."

Jeanne quietly asked, "What did you hear me say?"

"I heard Fischer first. He said, 'Damn, Jeanne, you really do love to suck my cock, don't you?' "

"What did I say to him?"

"You said, 'I do. I think that surprises me even more than it does you; but it is true. I do love to suck your cock. It's both beautiful and beguiling. I was taught to believe that cocks were dirty and nasty. That's a lie. Cocks are wonderful. Your cock is wonderful. I love your cock. I love to suck your cock.' "

"I said, your cock; your cock is wonderful?"

"That's exactly what you said."

"I'm not questioning your memory. I'm sure that is what I said. That was certainly how I was feeling at that moment." Jeanne slowly shook her head. "Michael, I'm so sorry. Hearing me say those words to another man must have been terribly painful for you. Especially since I was always so inhibited with you."


"You do understand that there is more than one way to interpret those words."

"Yes, I understand that."

"I've never given you any explanation, so I can't blame you for assuming the worst."

"I've never given you an opportunity to explain what you said."

"I wasn't trying to tell Derrick that I loved his cock more than yours."

"That is one way to interpret those words."

"Yes it is, but that wasn't what I was trying to say."

"What were you trying to say?"

"For my entire life, I've been an uptight prude. I was taught that cocks were dirty and nasty. I was also taught that any girl who sucked a cock was dirty and nasty." Jeanne looked at me. "I did give you blow jobs on special occasions."

"Yes you did, but you were never eager about it. It was obvious that you never enjoyed doing it.

"I'm sorry, you're right. I didn't enjoy doing it. I was too inhibited to enjoy doing it. The morning after I gave you a blow job, I was always so ashamed about what I'd done that I was afraid to face you."

"I didn't know that."

"The girls finally convinced me that cocks aren't dirty and nasty. They made me understand that if a man bathes regularly, his cock is going to be just as clean as any other part of his body."

Sighing, Jeanne added, "You should have been the recipient of my first enthusiastic blow jobs. You weren't, and I'm horribly ashamed about that. Why did I do it for another man first? I think your friend provided a pretty good explanation for that."

"You're talking about Jennifer Rawlins."


Smiling, I said, "It was difficult for you to admit to me that you'd turned into a cock hungry slut."

Jeanne laughed. "Yes, Michael, it was."

"So you're telling me that even though you never enjoyed sucking my cock, when you told Fischer that you loved sucking him, it wasn't meant as a reflection on me."

"Not at all; in fact, I was planning to try to get you to let me give you a blow job when you came home that afternoon. I wanted it to be a very special one."

"I enjoyed the one you gave me when you got here this afternoon."

"I enjoyed giving it to you, too. In a few minutes I'll give you another one, but first I have to answer the question you asked me earlier. I now understand why it's so important to you."

"You're talking about how I compare to the other men who have had sex with you."


"Please tell me the truth."

"Don't worry, I will."


"Earlier tonight, I told you that since this started three months ago, I've let nine men fuck me and I've given blow jobs to another twelve men."


"I quickly learned that you're a good lover. No, you're a very good lover."

"Jeanne, please don't coddle me. I want to hear the truth."

"Michael, I am telling you the truth. You're a gentle and considerate sex partner. Several of the men I've been with weren't. While they were fucking me, it was abundantly clear that all they cared about was their own pleasure. You've always tried to give me pleasure." Jeanne smiled. "I was always such a prude that I don't think that was very easy for you."

Smiling back at Jeanne, I said, "Even when you were a prude I enjoyed sex with you, and you're right; I've always tried to please you."

"I know you did, Michael, and while that's one of the reasons you're a good lover, it's not the only reason."


"Michael, you're a graceful lover. Until I started dating other men I never realized how important that was."

"I don't understand."

"Sex and dancing are closely related. To be done well, they both require rhythm and grace. Two of the guys who fucked me were awful. As soon as their cocks were inside me they started pumping in and out of me as hard and fast as they possibly could. That's fun at the end, but at the beginning guys have to be slow and gentle. They have to be dancers. Baby, you're a dancer. Believe me, women appreciate that."

I nodded.

Jeanne continued. "One of the guys was big. He had to be at least eight inches. When he started ramming and jamming that monstrosity into me it actually hurt."

"What did you do?"

"I stopped him. Sex should feel good. It shouldn't be painful."

"Was he okay with that?"

"I gave him a blow job instead."

"And that made him happy?"

"Oh, yes."

Laughing, I said, "You do give an excellent blow job."

Jeanne grinned. "Thank you, kind sir. I enjoy giving them. Would you like one?"

"Yes, I would, but only as a preliminary. I'd like to finish what we started earlier."

"So would I." Jeanne got up on her knees. "Baby, lie back and make yourself comfortable. I'm about to demonstrate one of the many advantages of having a slut wife."

"Jeanne, I still need to ask one more question."

"Okay." She sat down again.

"How do I compare to the other men as far as size? I'm afraid I'm not big enough to please you. You mentioned that one of the guys was eight inches. I'm nowhere near that big."

"I also told you that I made him stop fucking me because it hurt."

"Yes, but you did that because he was too aggressive."

Jeanne smiled at me for a moment and then she said, "Michael, I think cock size is a lot more important to men than it is to women. How a guy uses his cock is what really matters to us."

"So you're telling me that I'm small."

"Damn it, Michael, that's not what I'm telling you. I'm trying to get you to understand that for women, cock size isn't really all that important. There are a few women who are size queens, but I think that's more like men who are fascinated by women with large breasts. Most women prefer an average sized cock. They're more comfortable. I also repeat what I said earlier. How a guy uses his cock is more important than its size."

"Jeanne, everything you're telling me makes sense and I believe you, but you have to understand that what you're doing has shaken my confidence. I'm terrified that I'm a tiny dicked wimp who can't satisfy his wife. That's one of the reasons I lost my erection earlier."

"Baby, I'm so sorry that I did that to you. Please believe me when I tell you that you have never been an inadequate lover. You have always been wonderful in bed. I was the one who was inadequate."

"Please tell me the truth. I have to know."

"Okay, in the past three months I've played with about twenty different cocks. Three of them were larger than yours. One was a couple of inches longer than your cock."

"That was the eight inch cock."

Jeanne nodded and then she continued. "Three or four of them were at least an inch shorter than yours."

"They were?"

"Yes, and they were still fun."

Laughing, I said, "Okay, I get it."

"Baby, I think your cock is about average or maybe even a little larger than average. You're pretty thick. That's a lot more important than length."


"Yes, but you're a practical man. Let's get some real data. Turn on your computer."

This story is protected by International Copyright Law, by the author, all rights reserved. If found posted anywhere other than with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.

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