Sometimes I wonder if I’m a fucking sicko.

I’m on top of my wife, Sofia, sliding into her slowly but deep. Her pussy is hot and wet, gripping my cock with every thrust. Her big, heavy tits bounce against my chest, her hard nipples brushing my skin. She moans softly in that familiar, gentle way, her legs wrapped around my waist.

I should be enjoying just her. Her body. Her face full of pleasure.

But my mind has already gone to shit again.

Suddenly the image hits me: another man, bigger and stronger, fucking her hard. His cock much thicker and longer than mine slams in and out of her pussy without mercy. And I hear it clearly, his deep, hoarse groans. “Fuck…what a tight pussy,” he growls, his voice broken, breathing heavy and ragged like he’s about to lose control. Sofia is pushing him to the edge. She moves her hips, squeezing her pussy around that thick cock, moaning louder than she ever does with me.

My cock gets even harder inside her just from imagining those sounds.

Is this normal? Why the fuck, while I’m fucking my own wife, do I end up imagining another guy groaning like an animal because she’s driving him crazy with her body?

It all started more innocently. The likes on her photos, the compliments on the street, that night at the bar when some asshole walked straight up and told her he loved how she looked. But it escalated.

A while ago I created fake dating profiles using Sofia’s photos. I only did it a couple of times. Messages came in fast, but most were pretty respectful: “You’re very beautiful,” “I’d like to meet you,” “You have a lovely smile.” Some got hotter, but nothing extreme. I replied, pretending to be her just to see how far they’d go, but it didn’t satisfy me. I knew it wasn’t really her reading and answering. It wasn’t real. I stopped after those two times.

What really drove me crazy was something else.

I started taking naughty photos of her in secret. Photos where her tits are almost fully visible, nipples showing through, her ass in a thong, even one where you can see her pussy barely covered by her panties. I uploaded them to anonymous platforms, Reddit groups, and Telegram channels where I know men go just to jerk off.

That’s when everything changed. The comments are brutal, filthy, no filter:

“Fuck, those tits are perfect for tit fucking. I’d cum all over them until she’s covered in load.” “That innocent-looking slut probably loves getting a thick cock.” “Share more, bro. Show us how those tits bounce.” “Send a video of her moving those tits. I swear I’ll cum watching it.” “If you want, I can be the bull. I’ll shove my thick cock between her tits and then fill her pussy. Just tell me when and where.”

Every comment makes my cock rock hard. I read them one after another, jerking off like a desperate man, imagining Sofia reading them and getting wet. Some guys even offer themselves directly as bulls, saying they’d fuck her better than me, that they’d make her moan like a bitch in heat. And I cum hard reading those offers.

Now, while I’m fucking Sofia harder, the images become even more vivid.

I imagine one of those guys who offered. He’s sitting on the edge of our bed. Sofia is kneeling between his legs, her big soft tits completely wrapping his thick, veiny cock. She squeezes them together with both hands and starts moving them up and down, slow at first, then faster and tighter. The head of his cock pokes out between her breasts and she spits on it to make it slide better.

The guy starts moaning loud. “Ahhh… fuck… those tits…” His breathing gets heavy, ragged, almost panting. He growls hoarsely every time she speeds up. Sofia looks him in the eyes with that naughty slut face, knowing she has him completely under control. She squeezes her tits tighter, rubs her hard nipples against his shaft, and picks up the pace.

The man can’t hold back anymore. His breathing is a mess, the groans deeper and wilder. “I’m gonna cum… I’m gonna cum on your tits…”

And he explodes. Thick white ropes shoot out hard, covering Sofia’s cleavage, filling the valley between her tits, splashing her neck and even her lips. She keeps moving her tits slowly, milking him to the last drop, while he moans like he’s dying of pleasure.

In reality, Sofia moans louder and arches her back. She has no idea what I’m imagining. I thrust harder and cum inside her with brutal intensity, emptying myself while in my head the other guy is cumming all over her tits.

Afterwards, when she falls asleep peacefully in my arms, I stay awake with my heart still racing.

Is this normal? Why do I need to read strangers saying they want to fuck my wife to get this turned on? Why does it excite me so much to imagine her pushing another man to the edge with her tits, hearing his hoarse groans and ragged breathing?

A few weeks ago I told her part of the fantasy, without going into details about the photos or comments. I just said imagining her with another man made me really hot.

She shut it down immediately. “No… that’s not for me. I don’t even want to think about it.”

She kissed me and changed the subject. We haven’t touched the topic since.

But I keep doing it. I keep taking naughty photos of her when she’s not looking. I keep uploading them. I keep reading the filthy comments and the bull offers. I keep “innocently” encouraging her to dress more provocatively, to go to work meetings, to chat with the neighbor, or to stay a little longer at the supermarket.

Because even though she says no, the images don’t stop.

Even though Sofia clearly told me no, that it’s not for her, I can’t stop. The images keep coming every night. Every time I fuck her, every time I jerk off alone. And the cuckold porn I used to watch no longer does anything for me. It all feels fake: actors with fake cocks, exaggerated moans that sound like bad theater, fake marriages set up just for the camera. Nothing feels real. I want something authentic. I want to hear moans that come from my wife’s real body, not from an actress getting paid to pretend. I want to see how she arches, how she trembles, how she moans when she’s truly horny, but imagining it’s not me fucking her.

That’s why I started recording.

At first, it was with voice notes. I’d place the phone on the nightstand, very close to the pillow, almost touching her hair. I’d put it on airplane mode and start recording secretly before we started fucking. She never noticed. She thought I was just charging the phone. And I recorded her real moans. They started soft, almost whispers, when I kissed her neck or sucked her tits. Then they became more urgent, hoarser, when I thrust deep inside her. I listened to her heavy breathing, the way she let out a, “Yes… like that…” without acting, just because her pussy needed it. Nothing exaggerated. Nothing fake. Just Sofia moaning for real.

The first time I jerked off to one of those audios was a night when she fell asleep early. I put on my headphones next to her sleeping body, opened the file, and started stroking. I listened to her moaning while I fucked her, how her voice broke right before she came. But in my head it wasn’t me inside her. It was another man. A stranger with a thicker cock, fucking her hard, making those moans louder and more desperate. I came in minutes, hand shaking, imagining it was him making her gasp like that.

After that, voice notes weren’t enough anymore. I wanted to see her. I wanted to watch her from a distance, like a hidden voyeur, as if I wasn’t even in the room. That’s why I bought spy cameras. Small ones, no lights, with night vision. I placed them strategically: one on the ceiling lamp, pointing straight down at the bed. Another in the mirror frame, to catch her from the front. And a third on the wall decoration in front, to record her from behind.

The goal was clear: record so I could jerk off later imagining it wasn’t me. That it was someone else possessing her. That those moans, those movements, that face of pleasure, were caused by another cock.

The ceiling camera captures it perfectly when I eat her out. Her hands gripping my hair hard, pulling me in. Her head tilted back toward the headboard, back arched, stomach trembling. Moaning, “Ah… yes… don’t stop…” in that hoarse voice. But while I watch the video, in my mind it’s not me licking her pussy. It’s a stranger bull, eating her until she cums in his mouth, making her arch her back even harder.

The front camera catches her perfectly when she’s on all fours. Her tits hanging and bouncing with every thrust. Ass high, pussy open and glistening. I fuck her from behind, but when I watch the recording I only see her body moving. I imagine it’s another man pounding her, growling hoarsely, breathing ragged, while she moans, “Harder… harder…”. I jerk off watching her tits bounce, thinking that soon it will be another cock making them move like that.

And the one on the wall decoration, that’s the one that turns me on the most. It records her from behind while she rides me with that wild energy that’s all hers: bouncing up and down fast, rotating her hips, squeezing her pussy like she wants to milk me dry. Her ass bouncing, the curve of her waist, her tits swinging side to side. But again, in my head it’s not me underneath her. It’s another man. One who moans loud, breathing ragged, saying, “Fuck… what a good pussy,” while she pushes him to the edge.

A lot of the time it doesn’t come out the way I want. The image shakes because she moves, the sound gets lost in the fan, or the focus fails. That frustrates me. I want to control everything. I want to see every detail: how her nipples get hard, how her pussy drips, how that hoarse moan escapes when she cums. But when it turns out good, it’s pure gold.

I have impressive material now. Audios and videos that I know would drive the perverts on Telegram and Reddit crazy. “Look how she really moans,” “That slut isn’t faking,” “Upload more, I want to see her tits bouncing.” And the offers wouldn’t take long: “Let me record her, I’ll shove my thick cock in her and make her scream.”

But I still haven’t uploaded anything. I hesitate a lot. Because if I do, it won’t be just my private fantasy anymore. It will be real. And I still want to stay the voyeur, the one watching from afar, imagining that another man is the one possessing her while she moans like that.