Tired Tiffany dashed toward her next stop, chatting with her phone about the remaining ingredients for dinner and how much time she had left to finish her errands before she had to be back home. She barely made it to the bench outside of the busy strip mall before a torn paper bag gave way. She transferred its contents to a foldable bag from her purse and dared to rest for a second.
A kindly man stopped and offered a hand. “One of those days?” She thanked him but politely declined. “There’s a rest lounge down there at the end of the strip. It’s worth a visit,” he said and handed her a coupon before moving on.
Super Happy Rest Lounge, she read from the slip. One free guest visit. Tiffany looked at the time on her phone, stuffed the coupon in her purse, and rushed to her next stop.
Later that evening, when life should have been quiet, she found the coupon. Listening to her daughter and husband argue, she pulled the Super Happy Rest Lounge site up on her tablet.
She was annoyed when it started to play some music. She hated sites that invaded what little quiet time she had, but the music was soothing and so she left it on as she perused the invitingly simple site. The establishment had comfortable chairs, exotic teas, and a gift shop. “For a better experience, use earbuds or headphones to better enjoy our lulling music,” the notification read. Without thinking, she popped in her earbuds to listen as she multi-tasked.
“Tiffany? Tiff? Are you in there?”
Tiffany looked up at Cal, her husband. “Sorry. I must have dozed,” she said and put her buds away.
“With your eyes open—it was creepy-weird. You okay?”
She assured him that she was, which was true. She hadn’t felt so relaxed in a long time and snuggled next to her husband when he sat. “Let’s watch some TV. I’m done working.”
Cal’s stifled moans, and the hot jets of sperm between her fingers, shook Tiffany out of her reverie. A blanket lay across their laps that was not there earlier, and her hand was down her husband’s unbuckled pants.
“Damn, Babe,” he said and kissed her head as it rested on his shoulder. “I don’t know what prompted that, but thanks!”
Drowsy and confused, she asked if the show was over.
“No, I paused it because neither of us was paying any attention.”
“I think I should go to bed.”
“Really? It’s early and you took a nap. I could return the favor if you want.”
“No, I think I’m tired.”
~~~
In the middle of another hectic day in the middle of another hectic week, Tiffany stood at the door of the Super Happy Rest Lounge with a coupon in her hand. It opened for her when she reached for the handle and she stepped inside to subdued lighting and the same relaxing music that was on their website. The pleasant aroma of tea wafted from a pot on a nearby table.
“Welcome to the Super Happy Rest Lounge,” a cheerful, disembodied feminine voice said. “Choose any of the unoccupied pods by depositing your coupon in its slot. Be sure to visit our gift shop when you are done. Have a super happy rest.”
Ahead and to one side were seven standalone floor-to-ceiling cylindrical closets, some with blue blinking lights and some with harsh red ones. A video kiosk under a “Gift Shop” sign was on the opposite wall.
“Hello?”
“Hello. Welcome to the Super Happy Rest Lounge.”
Tiffany took a few steps. “Is anybody here?”
The voice said, “Have some tea. Choose any of the unoccupied pods by depositing your coupon in its slot. Have a super happy rest.”
It’s all automated, Tiffany realized. She chose the nearest blue-lit pod, and the slot next to it pulled the coupon from her fingers. A paper-wrapped plush reclining chair and hot tea were waiting inside. She poured more tea into the cup after sipping a small sample. The chair was very comfortable; she pried her shoes off and settled back.
“For a better experience, use earbuds or headphones to better enjoy our lulling music.”
Too bad I… She held that thought and reached into her purse. She couldn’t recall putting her earbuds in there but that didn’t matter. She wiggled them into place and closed her eyes.
Tiffany blinked a few times. She was too relaxed to panic but fumbled for her phone nevertheless. “How long was I out?” she wondered aloud.
“You have been resting for twenty-one minutes and fifteen seconds. I hope that you had a super happy rest. Be sure to visit our gift shop.”
Super happy that she hadn’t taken too long a break and amazed at how much energy she had, Tiffany bounced from the chair. She scanned the lobby for information about how much this would have cost had she not had a coupon, but found nothing.
Feeling obligated to buy something, she selected a branded sleep mask from the “Recommended for You” group. After she paid, the mask dropped into the tray as did two other items: a long and thin paper sleeve, and a blister-packed personal massager. She self-consciously dropped the dildo back into the tray and put the mask and sleeve into her purse. Two coupons for free visits were printed along with her receipt.
Daughter Leslie was studying in her room by the time Tiffany got home and, thankfully, she had done the dinner prep that she was asked to do. The rest of the night’s meal was easily started and Tiffany examined her gifts.
The mask was exceptionally well-made and worth the cost. The sleeve contained a stiff, six-inch needle that was barely thicker than a hair. The only printing on the package was in characters that she didn’t recognize and was accompanied by a diagram of a hand with a dot on the wrist below the pinky finger. One of the coupons was like the one she used: One free guest visit. The other read, One free visit Member 000105.
I guess I’m a member, now. Tiffany was happy with that thought.
She tended to dinner but the image of the needle stuck in her head. She checked that her daughter was still in her room, peeled back the package, and gingerly examined it. She opened her palm and dragged the sharp end along her wrist where the dot was in the picture.
This is stupid, she thought right before the point found where it wanted to be and she penetrated her skin with a satisfying pop. “Oooh,” she sighed. Her eyelids drooped and she pushed the needle in just a tiny bit more. She moaned then and struggled to keep her eyes even a little open as she pulled and pushed, pulled and pushed the needle. The tingling that she felt in her wrist was mirrored between her legs and her breaths ran deeper and quicker with every thrust.
“Oh, God,” she panted just as the front door opened.
“I’m home!”
“Hi, Hon!” she shouted, shaking herself awake. She set the needle aside and licked the tiny drop of blood from her wrist. “Dinner will be ready soon,” she said, planting her usual kiss on his cheek. “Why don’t you open a bottle of wine?”
Leslie hid in her room after dinner, Cal puttered around with some overdue repair chores, and Tiffany fidgeted. She retrieved the needle, bent it in half, and buried it in the trash. She couldn’t see the hole that she put in her wrist, but she knew it was there. She tried reading, television, and paying the bills but nothing could take her mind off the orgasm she didn’t have or what dark compulsion made her jab herself in the first place.
It was too early to go to sleep.
Tiffany found her husband at his desk, carefully turning his screwdriver. “Hey, big guy. I’m going to bed.”
“How come? Are you feeling tired again?”
“Uh-uh. Not at all. Wide awake.” She popped open the top button of her blouse. “Wide.” Pop. “Awake.” Pop. Tiffany spun away and smiled when she heard his tool crash into the box.
Leslie heard her mom shriek when her dad caught up to her. Their door slammed shut but she could still hear her say, “Careful, don’t tear it!”
Eew-wuh.
They were in the flesh in a flash, and Tiffany lay on the bed with her legs stretched wide open.
“No foreplay?” Cal asked.
“What are you, a girl?” She pushed a finger into her pussy and then spread her lips. Cal didn’t need to be insulted twice and shoved his cock up to the hilt with one push. “Oh, God, yes, I’ve been so fucking horny all day,” she said between kisses and thrusts.
Happy to oblige, Cal fucked his wife faster. Tiffany groaned and sucked on her wrist, tonguing the spot that the needle went in. “There it is, there it is,” she huffed. “There. It. Is!” She arched her back high and dropped back down. “Don’t stop. Don’t slow down!”
Cal hadn’t seen his wife like this in years and was not going to disappoint her. He knew what she liked and how she liked it, and he concentrated on that—and on the Blue Jays’ bullpen. Tiffany didn’t take long to climax again, clawing at the sheets and shuddering between the waves.
Thankful that he didn’t have to hold back anymore, Cal plunged his cock as deep as it would go and ground against her, purging his balls of every built-up drop. Once finished, he slumped to her side.
“You’re the best,” she said as she stroked his slippery, quitting cock. “I’ll bet you can do it again.” She climbed between his legs to suck his cock and tug his sack.
“Easy! Take it easy, it’ll come back but I'm not some kind of robot.”
~~~
“Hold for Member 000105.” The sticky note was on the personal massager that Tiffany had left behind after her first visit. She set it aside without wondering how it happened to be right there, right then. “For a better experience, use earbuds or headphones to better enjoy our lulling music,” she said when the automated voice hadn’t. She settled in, closed her eyes, and then opened them.
She felt relaxed and strangely satisfied but she was unsure whether she had napped or not. She checked her phone—she had been there for thirty-two minutes. The massager was out of its package and had obviously been used. A quick check of her panties confirmed it.
Masturbating in a public place in her sleep should have bothered her but she readily dismissed what she would normally consider to be inappropriate behavior. She took the dildo with her and opened the pod door.
“Be sure to visit our gift shop, T-zero-zero-zero-one-zero-five.”
She selected the recommended tea at the kiosk, scooped the bag and two needles from the tray, and carefully took the receipt and coupons from the dispenser.
Tiffany made it home before the others and efficiently put her shopping away. She peeled away the first needle’s wrappings and pierced her wrist. Every muscle in her body relaxed as she sighed, “Yesss.”
With just enough strength to hike her dress up, she felt between her navel and pussy to find the spot to penetrate her belly with the second needle. She groaned as she twisted it between her thumb and finger while drawing it down and up. She stopped long enough to shove the dildo between her legs as a dead, place-holding surrogate.
She needle-fucked her belly and tugged her upright nipples until she climaxed not with a bang but with a gentle, loving, shuddering wash from head to toe. She gave herself a moment before putting everything away. She had a husband to feed and fuck soon.
~~~
Cal was still exhausted and sore from the night before. The last time his wife had been so aggressively lecherous also happened to be the last time that she had visited that spa, or whatever it was. Earlier, he was afraid that he wouldn’t survive the night when she told him that she was going back there again today, but now she was late and wasn’t answering her phone.
Guilt-ridden that he hadn’t paid attention to the name of the place, he made calls to her friends and tried not to worry their daughter.
~~~
“Hello, T-zero-zero-zero-one-zero-five.” Wordlessly, she opened a pod door—a red-lit one this time, not a blue—and it was empty. The door closed and the pod descended, playing lulling music with sensuous beats.
The white room exclaimed its cleanliness. Tiffany entered and examined the five stations arranged in a semi-circle. Four were dormant; she approached the fifth. There was a slim instrument panel on the left and a more complex console on the right. In the middle was a steel platform, currently perpendicular to the floor.
She removed her shoes, her dress, and her underthings and thoughtlessly, carefully set them aside. She stepped onto the footrest and reclined against the warm steel. A paper band that wound around her waist sufficiently secured her to the platform. Her metal bed fluidly tilted back and moved into the station, situating her head and shoulders between the instrument panels.
A padded cylinder lowered and only just touched her forehead while others approached from the sides to firmly press pieces into her ears to better deliver the lulling music with sensuous beats and super happy thoughts.
A slim tube was issued from the machine and stopped millimeters away from her neck. A fine needle emerged with a hanging drop of fluorescent green fluid and its sharp point pressed against her neck. Tiffany’s body quivered in anticipation of the achingly delayed moment when the dimple the needle made in her skin would finally, finally give way with a pop and penetration.
She sighed and blanked her mind; her eyes stared expectantly into the blackness of the very white room.
A second needle pierced opposite the first, which was followed by another and another. Two more, sturdier and sharper, simultaneously encroached and she took pleasure in the crinkling and crackling noises they made when they burrowed through the bone of her temples and into her brain.
They rotated, advanced, and retreated in a three-dimensional dance, and, underneath, another needle pricked its way into the base of her skull to join the troupe. A pinky finger rose and fell. Her eyes slammed shut and reopened. Her pussy clenched, and her lips blossomed.
A needle arose from the table to perforate her spine at the small of her back and was followed by another and another—up-up-up. Bodyless mechanical arms whirred to her breasts and speared her nipples while the lower part of the platform split open and hinged at the knees, spreading and positioning her legs.
Tubes slithered into her mouth and nose, filling her throat and aerating her lungs. Twin lenses levitated close to her eyes and projected rapidly changing images that confounded and comforted her. More needles slipped into the corners of her eyes, sending ciphered signals along their nerves.
A frictionless probe poked her anus and expanded into her innards. Sparking, deeply embedded needles encircled her clit. A vibrating ovoid was pushed far into the void of her cunt, and Tiffany wrapped herself around it and the final, phallic probe that swelled and thrust and pulsed against her oversensitive, super happy velvety walls.
Her soul-compromising, well-regulated orgasms lasted for several super happy hours.
~~~
Tiffany was sure to visit the gift shop when she was done and left with her coupons in hand. Cal and Leslie were on their phones when she got home.
Leslie stopped talking when she saw her mother. “Ugh! And you always tell me to call when I’m going to be late. Hypocrite much?” She stormed off to her room with her phone at her ear. “Yeah, never mind, she just fucking wandered in…”
“Where have you been? Do you know what time it is?”
“I’m sorry. I’ll get dinner started.”
“I don’t give a damn about dinner. Are you okay?”
“Yes. I’m sorry. I over-napped, that’s all, and the phone reception there is horrible. I’ll fix us something quick to eat.” Tiffany sauntered toward her husband and fiddled with the buttons on his shirt. “Unless you want to fuck first. My naps always make me so horny.”
They snacked in front of the TV after bringing Leslie a plate. Cal stated his concerns. “Can’t you relax at home instead?”
“I could, but there’s something special there. Maybe it’s their chairs; I don’t know. You should come with me. We should go together, like a date.”
~~~
“Hello, T-zero-zero-zero-one-zero-five and guest. Welcome to the Super Happy Rest Lounge.”
Tiffany showed Cal around as if she owned the place.
“Nobody works here? And you keep getting coupons?”
Tiffany shrugged and handed him a cup of tea. “It’s probably a computer glitch. Why not take advantage until they fix it?”
She handed her husband a guest coupon and enthusiastically led him to a door with a blue light above it. “You put the coupon in the slot and, oh, wait…” She handed him a pair of earbuds. “You’ll want these to better enjoy their lulling music—you’ll see.” She gave him a kiss on the cheek and closed the door for him.
The next-door pod’s light flashed from blue to red. She fed her coupon into the slot and her heart filled with super happiness.
Twenty-two minutes later, Tiffany emerged from her pod and waited patiently for her husband to join her. A few minutes after that, his door opened and Cal took his wife’s hand.
“I think I get it now,” Cal said. “How long…wow, that long? I feel like I was in there for only a few minutes but I’m so rested, and I feel like I could take on the world.”
“I hope that you had a super happy rest. Be sure to visit our gift shop.”
Tiffany and Cal made their innocuous gift shop selections and scooped them from the tray. Cal questioned the needle and another, unselected item.
“It’ll come to you. You’ll just know.”
They took their receipts and coupons: One free guest visit, and, One free visit Member 000111.
“Look you’re a member now! How do you feel about that?”
“I’m feeling super happy, Babe.”
~~~
Cal tried to make sense of the strange characters on the needle’s protective wrapping. The picture was clear, though. He peeled it open and scratched a short white line on his wrist below his little finger. He added another to make an “X” and then another and another with all of them intersecting at the same spot. His heart rapidly thumped in his chest as he fervently added line after line to the blurred starburst until he couldn’t hold back anymore and stabbed its center.
His heart almost stopped. He slumped and his eyes rolled to the back of his head. Something unseen and unfelt guided him as he pushed and pulled the needle in and out of his flesh.
Tiffany was nearby with a spike in her wrist and one in her belly. She and her husband connected, briefly, before she sank back.
Cal was conscious enough to know there was more. He didn’t understand the pictograph on his extra gift earlier, but it made sense to him now. With a minimum of effort, he unwrapped a slender steel rod and pulled his dribbling, rubbery cock from his pants. After a moment’s hesitation hovering at the tip, he penetrated himself.
“F-f-f-fuh,” he moaned as he fucked his cock faster and faster until his balls pushed surge after surge of his spunk out of his straining cock, staining the embedded steel. He could barely grasp what he had done to himself and tried to lift his brain from the fog as he diddled with the needle in his wrist.
Tiffany, flush from her own orgasm, withdrew her needles and then Cal’s. She rolled the penis-fucker between her fingers and slowly pulled it out. “I need to be fucked,” she said.
“So do I.”
~~~
Cal and Tiffany gave guest coupons to their neighbors next door—a couple and their son who was in Leslie’s senior-year classes. Tiffany brought Leslie.
Tiffany’s personal pod was next to their bed when Cal came home from his second super happy rest. He simply accepted its presence, just as he accepted her many new piercings and the small circular ports at the top and bottom of her spine.
“Isn’t it lovely?” she asked as she lovingly caressed its hard, white shell. She didn’t expect an answer. Cal was prone on their bed with needles in his wrist and belly, fucking his steely rod with his steel rod and listening to lulling music with sensuous beats.
Tiffany disrobed, retracted the first data probe from her pod, and snapped it into the lower port with an agreeable click. She reached behind her neck as casually as fastening a necklace and inserted the second one. Backing into the doorless pod with her legs apart, she pressed her palms flat against the wall and sighed when the needles passed through her wrists.
Probes emerged and filled Tiffany’s God-given holes while godless robotic arms efficiently deposited and withdrew various needles according to super happy patterns.
~~~
“Hello, C-zero-zero-zero-one-one-one. Welcome to the Super Happy Rest Lounge.”
Cal’s hand shook as he anxiously deposited his coupon into the slot next to the door below the flashing red light. Several days had passed since his last super happy rest but that couldn’t have been helped. He stepped into the super white, clean room, and found that two of the five stations were already occupied.
He was drawn to the station next to a moaning, subtly writhing man. Needles, wires, and tubes radiated from his body and, between his legs, a long rod stroked his cock from within as a rolling ring kneaded him from without, masturbating him even as it fucked him.
A tone sounded and a voice announced, “C-zero-zero-zero-one-one-one.” Cal quickly took his clothes off, carefully set them aside, and the steel bed lifted and drew him into place. As the machine pricked and probed him, his cock swayed, expanded and contracted, wanting to penetrate and be penetrated.
A laser scalpeled his scrotum and a micro-atomizer covered his testes with 3D-printed circuitry. Tiny, sparkling donut-shaped LEDs were riveted on either side before the incision was burned closed.
A vibrating sounding rod slipped into his penis and rewarded his compulsory patience with an orgasm so pure that his face was almost feminine in its rapture.
~~~
Leslie was heading out when her father got home hours later.
“Incompatible,” he said.
“Yeah, whatever,” his daughter answered. “Me and Jimmy Junior are heading to the Super Happy Rest Lounge. You don’t need me to pick up anything, do you?”
“No, I don’t think so. Where’s Tiffany-105?”
“If by ‘Tiffany-105’ you mean, ‘Mom,’ she’s in her pod. Jimmy just fucked her and she said that if you want to go next door to fuck Miriam, it’d be okay with her.”
“Is my pod here yet?”
“Oh, yeah, I forgot.”
“How many times have you been to the Super Happy Lounge?”
“This will be my third time. Jimmy Junior’s too,” Leslie said.
“Be sure to visit their gift shop when you are done, and bring a flashlight in case you need to walk anywhere afterward—it’ll be dark before you get out. Have a super happy rest.”
“Tiffany-105?” he called out even though he knew that she wouldn’t answer when resting in her pod. He was still charged from his latest rest but wanted to test-drive his new pod. He couldn’t believe how good the simple act of data port insertion felt. He floated away to lulling music with sensual beats while the pod penetration process commenced.
Cal-111 stepped out right before Tiffany-105 did. He inspected the designation tattoo above his left hip and, played with his three new ear piercings. “We’re already synced,” he said as they embraced.
“I’ve been waiting for you, Cal-111.” Her belly button bar glowed when it came into proximity to his. “Initiating insemination protocol…” Tiffany-105 lay on the bed, holding her knees to her breasts and precisely presenting her cunt to accommodate Cal-111's girth, length, and curvature. Part of her missed kissing and licking but that wasn’t the part that mattered.
Right away, Cal-111 optimized the force and velocity of his thrusts, and in less than a minute, he flooded her cunt with his seed. She was not disappointed—her orgasm was of secondary importance. He easily stayed erect, he would always easily stay erect, and they fucked for fun while his body labored to produce more semen. They stopped eventually, telling themselves that they were not machines, and basked in the super happy afterglow.
“Incompatible.”
- “Incompatible,” Cal-111 said and his daughter echoed when she walked into their room just before dawn.
“Damn, that was some ride,” Leslie-116 said to her parents as she stripped away her clothes. “How come I don’t have a pod yet? It’s not fair that I don’t have a pod. Hey, is that the insemination protocol I smell?”
She was about to complain that she’d have to wait for her mother to complete production before she could go through the protocol herself, but instead, her attitude flipped from zero to one in a heartbeat. “That’s so cool, Tiffany-105! I’m super happy for you!”
Someone repeatedly rang the doorbell and pounded on the front door. “Cal? Are you home? It’s Miriam!” Miriam let herself in and pushed her way past Leslie-116. “Excuse me, Leslie. Hi, Tiffany. Oh, good, Cal, you have a boner. Listen, James Senior is all worn out and I’m not. You won’t mind if I borrow your husband, will you, Tiff?”
Leslie-116 put her arm around her neighbor and told her that her parents had started the insemination protocol. “Isn’t that great?”
“I don’t know what that is, but I guess that means that Cal won’t fuck me. James Senior can’t and Jimmy Junior won’t because he says he’s incompatible.”
“Go to a bar and pick someone up. Give them a coupon,” Tiffany-105 suggested while pulling away the loose tufts of her pubic hair. “You can fuck just about anyone you want.”
“I suppose,” Miriam said. “By the time I did that, James Senior would probably be ready again, though.”
“When was the last time James Senior went to the Super Happy Rest Lounge?” Leslie-116 asked.
“I think the last time he and I went was two or three days ago.”
“Go back now,” Cal-111 advised.
“I think we will. Thanks, Cal.”
~~~
The always-nude household was super happy that Tiffany-105 and Cal-111 only needed a few days to complete the insemination protocol. After that, she initiated the brooding protocol, and daughter Leslie-116 and their neighbor Miriam-121 automatedly activated their midwifery subroutines.
Cal-111 required eight hours in his pod to overwrite his spermatozoan production firmware, as did Miriam-121's husband, James-122, and their son, Jimmy-117. The transfer of genetic DNA was no longer necessary, and thousands and thousands of gigabytes of mRNA data, uniquely encoded into each, individual sperm cell, had to be continually infused into the mother-to-be.
Tiffany-105 climaxed when young Jimmy-117 ejaculated as deep as he could reach. His father, James-122, had loaded her down not long before and her husband, Cal-111, was again recharging in his pod.
Glistening with sweat, she was exhausted from the brooding protocol’s fucking marathon. Motivated by orgasms with each new penetration and every ejaculation, she begged, out of breath, to be fucked again.
“There will be no more fucking until you get some rest,” Leslie-116 told her mother. “I’m taking you to the shower and then I’m plugging you in. I want you boys to shower too. Miriam-121, recycle and refresh her pod first, and get her some clean sheets.”
“But I’m hor-nee-nee-nee…
“Incompatible.”
- “Incompatible,” Jimmy-117 reiterated.
James-122 put his arm around his wife and jingled her nipple rings. “Finish your tasks, Miriam-121, and we can fuck in the shower while she naps.”
~~~
Leslie-116 set a schedule for her mother that allowed her to rest more between fucks and let everyone else to get back to their lives. “I know you don’t care how anxious the brooding protocol makes you, and I know that you want to finish production, but you need to pace yourself,” she said as she helped her into her pod.
She inserted the data cables into Tiffany-105's back ports and into the new ones at her temples. She had helped Cal-111 change his hair style to cover his newly-grown temple ports and she was certain that she could feel hers budding under her skin.
Three months had passed and everyone assumed that they had six more to go—they were wrong. They were all asleep late at night in their pods when the notifications came in.
“T-zero-zero-zero-one-zero-five is ready to deliver product. Proceed to the Super Happy Rest Lounge. T-zero-zero-zero-one-zero-five is ready to deliver product. Proceed to the Super Happy Rest Lounge. T-zero-zero-zero-one-zero-five…”
Their pods disgorged Cal-111 and Leslie-116, who promptly brought Tiffany-105 to the Super Happy Rest Lounge’s super white clean room. They inserted her into a station and left as instructed.
Robotic arms efficiently positioned her for delivery. Servomechanical specula widened her passage and a claw reached inside to extract the product. The umbilicus was severed and the reservicing of her womb commenced while another set of arms processed the product.
The placental sac was sliced open and a healthy three-pound brain throbbed and flashed beneath a thin, translucent cartilaginous barrier. Various communication ports were patched in and the brain was securely encased in a stylish, cylindrical titanium crock.
After all of its quality control tests passed, the serial number was laser-etched under the chic Super Happy logo: T-000105-001. The product was packaged with its paperwork (and a coupon), overpacked, and the customer was notified of the upcoming delivery.
The Jordans wouldn’t say that they were rich, but they were. Mrs. Jordan would often say, “Oh, anything is fine with me,” when it wasn’t. When their Rosie brought the device to them, Mr. Jordan looked over its installation instructions while Mrs. Jordan placed it on the special brushed titanium stand that she had purchased for it months ago.
“What the fuck.” Mr. Jordan showed his young wife a sticker on the side of the box. “’Organic.’ Jesus, they’ll call anything organic and we probably paid extra for it.”
“Never mind that. It’s all booted up.”
“Hello! I’m Tiffany, your new personal assistant. Today’s weather will be seventy-five degrees and mostly sunny. Have a super happy rest of the day!”
