Green orb, so perfect, so firm, so petite, people wonder why I obsess over you as they hate you.

For those, the mere sight or thought makes them shiver and recoil. Sometimes, I feel my stomach start to rumble and my mouth moisten as I start to dream of you again.

At the supermarket, loose, you command me to dive in, caress your perfect, petite orbs and scoop them into a bag.

Bagged, you pull my sight in and rattle within, unlike the static and staid mushrooms.

Your petiteness meets my eyes like even more than the purple beet.

I need,

Your crunch and pepperiness like I need the orange swede.

You sink an Iceberg with your crunch and pepperiness. 'Cause you're greater in a salad than your brassica cousins.

You look so stunning on your stem. When I hold you, my fingers envelop your perfect petiteness. When I pull you off your stem, it’s a gentle snap, then plop as you drop into the bucket.

My heart races, my mouth juices as I think of how tasty you will be soon.

Crunch, I give in to temptation and eat you raw. The layers of leaves part in my mouth and your pepperiness as I crunch through you. Though people wonder why I’m hot on you, when the orange, sweet crunchiness of a carrot is more appealing, or even the verdant pepperiness of a fennel!

I dream:

Of slicing bacon, frying it with your orbs, so the bacon’s juices coat you perfectly, making you shine in the pan. I smell the bacon waft as you gently soften. The saltiness of the bacon mingles with your pepperiness and my tongue caresses your soft orbs as I bite.

Of steaming your orbs so they soften, then tossing them with French Dressing and walnuts. Or maybe goat cheese and bacon again. So luxe.

Steam you and coat with molten cheese: soft, smooth and so loving on a cold winter’s day. Cheese is always good, but you make it so much better.

Roll your perfect orbs on the plate, coat with shredded carrot, my heart races and my mouth waters. Toss shredded over ham and a light dressing: sweet, salty pepperiness. So dreamy, so tasty.

So weird to halve you, then sauté to release your sweet pepperiness. Slide between two hot, toasted baguette slices with a light onion marmalade. Crunchy, sweet, peppery with a perfect hint of the onions, I really wonder why people don’t dream of you all the time.

Some people think I have you with Weetabix! While I may dream of you, breakfasting on you, that's a combination too far. You, the dry, sweet cereal crunch, and the sweet milk don't mix with your crunchy, verdant pepperiness. If I sauteed you, that would be plain weird with the combination! Though, al dente with the salty bacon and the yellow smoothness of poached or scrambled eggs makes for a different and so healthy lunch.

So weird how I obsess over you, yet you so revile others: Brassica Oleracea Gemmifera, the humble and so maligned Brussels Sprout that I love to eat in so many ways.