It was intolerably hot on that bus. Even with my window open, I felt as if I were apt to suffocate. It was August in 1968, and the world? Well, it was a’changin. The war in Vietnam was raging, young people were protesting in the streets, and this big concert called Woodstock was looking to be the biggest thing to hit the country since cornbread.

That’s why I left home. I was eighteen and free; and I was done living in the backwoods of nowhere on my Pa’s farm. So, I up and slipped out one night, leaving Mama a note telling her I loved her and Pa and said goodbye.

Yeah, I was young and full of myself. I didn’t have hardly any money and had no idea what the world was like, but that didn’t matter none. I was leaving, and my first stop was gonna be that concert in Bethal; because, damn it all, I had one life and I was gonna live it.

Lookin’ back, I had no idea what I was walking into, and I certainly had no clue how dangerous it was for a uneducated girl my age to be making that trip by herself. But my heart felt the call and there was nothin’ on God’s green Earth that could stop me from giving it my best. Besides, the Trailway was gonna have me there in just few days. What was the worst that could happen?

The ride wasn’t bad despite the heat. The countryside was green and beautiful and I spent my time staring out the into the forests as they sped by my window. I was seeing more in that short time than I’d even seen back home on the farm.

Late on the second day, the bus stopped in some small town in Kentucky. To this day, I have no idea where exactly, but onboard, steps this beautiful black man, a soldier, carrying his green army bag. And damn, I had never seen a man who looked so handsome.

But this was 1968, and the world hadn’t changed yet. With the struggle for civil rights on everyone’s mind while a war divided the nation, a black soldier stepping onto a bus full of conservative white folk caused a hush to settle over them like a morning fog.

But hell, I never understood what made people think such things, and I wouldn’t have given a red cent about them even if I did. He was getting turned away at row after row, so when he got to me, I just smiled and offered him the bench seat next to me. You shoulda’ seen the looks on all their faces but I didn’t care. I was gonna be nice, and to hell with all them redneck fellers, anyway.

“Hello, Miss…?” He questioned politely when he sat down.

“Evie,” I offered with probably too much enthusiasm. “Evelyn, Evelyn Widmore.”

“I’m Frederick Johnson. Nice to meet you, Miss Evie.”

“Frederick? Did you folks not like you or somethin’, cause that is one mouthful of a name?” I weren’t particularly well mannered, not that Mama hadn’t tried, but somehow it never seemed to stick. But Frederick, he just laughed.

No, my folks were great. I was named after Frederick Douglas.”

He seemed proud of that, but I had no idea why. “Never heard of him,” I said. “But if you’re happy with the name, than fine by me.” I was digging through my basket as we talked and pulled out a couple of the sandwiches I made for the trip. “Do you like roast beef or ham?”

oo0oo

Freddie, that’s what he asked me to call him, was a real kind man and so polite. He’d been in Vietnam fighting the commies for two years and had just been given extended leave. He was on his way home when we met.

And I may not have been a girl who paid attention in school, but I knew all too well how folks felt about a black man being all conversational with a white girl. I saw how they were looking at us, and I knew they were already deciding I must be some kind of whore to be so comfortable around Freddie. He noticed too, but he didn’t let it bother him none. He said he’d been dealing with that kind of people his whole life and he wasn’t afraid of them. After fighting in a war, I supposed this was nothing to him.

But it did mean something to me. I’d never been one to follow someone else’s rules and if I wasn’t gonna listen to my pa, I sure as hell wasn’t gonna let some ignorant peckerwoods bother me. If anything, they made me want to get even closer to Freddie. There you go, I thought to them as I leaned into Freddie, snuggling against him as the night chill filled the bus. Now, y’all got somethin’ worth being scandalized about.

I fell asleep that night, riding the bus to Bethel, cuddling up against the nicest boy I’d ever met. I didn’t give the time of day to the fact he was black. I only cared that he was as handsome as any man I’d ever laid eyes on.

Freddie and I spent the next day, and most of the night talking and getting’ to know one another. I asked him about the war, but I could see he didn’t want to say much about that. I felt bad for him because I could tell he’d seen things no one should ever have to see. It was almost three in the morning when we arrived in Bethel.

Now, I had enough money for a motel. Before I left. I’d planned on gettin’ a room that first night, and then, if I had to sleep outside at the concert, at least there would be people around I could make friends with. As I’d been a country girl my whole life, I had no fear of being outside in the dark.

Unfortunately, there were so many other people who had the same idea, that every motel in that town was full. Since Freddie was supposed to take another bus to Albany, I was gonna be stuck there by myself. Now, he and I had talked a lot about Woodstock, and along about that time he decided stay with me, just so I wouldn’t be alone. That is, he asked, if I didn’t mind.

Well, bless his heart, and I mean that in the best possible way. It was just the kind of nice thing he would do, but I also knew what he was really hoping for. There was an attraction between us. We both felt it, so when he suggested we get some sleep in the park, I had an idea of what he had in mind.

Of course, I said yes.

So, off we went, and hours before the sun was gonna rise, we were snuggled up in his sleeping bag, all alone and under the stars. I was a virgin at the time, but I figured he’d make a woman out of me by the time the sun peeked above the horizon. I was sure hoping he would.

As I couldn’t very well sleep in my dress, I took it off, leaving only my bra and panties to protect my virtue. Freddie stripped to his skivvies, and we crawled into his sleeping bag with me spooned against his sexy body.

Now, I was just certain that my being there in nothin’ but my undies would have been enough of a hint to any man that I was willing to take the next step, but Freddie just lay there with one hand under my head, and the other slipped around my waste. It was wonderful, for about five minutes.

But as time ticked on, and I felt his warm breath in my hair, I began to wonder if the poor boy had the nerve to take that next step. Like I said before, I was a girl who didn’t take no for an answer, and as those minutes dragged on, his hesitancy started to feel very much like him sayin’ no. And that just wasn’t gonna do.

Not one bit.

After a bit, I was gettin’ antsy. I’d never been this close to a man, and his hand on my belly was doing things to me that I wouldn’t have been able to talk about in church. I wasn’t a girl who touched herself often, but I knew what that feeling was all the same. I was feeling things in my girlie-parts that were gettin’ hard to ignore and pretty soon, I started squirming a bit, trying to scratch an itch that was growing more and more insistent. Somewhere in there, my butt moved against Freddie’s lap, and that’s when I felt it.

By it, I mean his penis, and oh, my lord I knew what it was right away. I’d never actually seen one before, of course. There was no fancy internet in those days and I’d never been with anyone before, but I could tell by how it felt, pressing into my bottom even through our unspeakables, that he was hard. And terrifyingly big.

To be honest, I had no idea how big a man’s dick should be, but I knew his was much bigger than I ever expected. It was long enough that I could feel it laying along my entire butt, and it was much harder than I would have ever guessed a man could get. We stared a’ grinding against each other, and I figured there was no longer any reason to pretend we weren’t; so I took his hand and put it over my boob. If that didn’t work, I told myself, I was gonna have jump that man myself.

I needn't have worried. Up to then, Freddie was being a gentleman, but once I let him know I was willing, he pulled me tightly against him and started squeezing my tit right through my bra. Once that itch got its first scratch, I wasn’t gonna stop until it was completely satisfied. Turning my head toward him, I got my first real kiss with a man.   

My girlfriends always said my first kiss would be like magic and they were right. He was gentle and sweet, but the longer we kissed the more daring he got. Pretty soon, his tongue was flicking into my mouth and, oh my Lord, it felt nice. It felt like he’d been unleashed, touching my boobs and belly, and even sliding his hand down over my panties. I was getting hot, and I knew he was gonna have my virginity.

“Have you ever done this before,” he asked, which I thought was very sweet.

“No,” I admitted. “I’ve never been this close to a man before. Not like this, anyway.” I suppose I should have been nervous or scared. Good girls should be, right? But I wasn’t.

Freddie caressed my face, smiling at me in a way that made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. “Are you sure you want to? We can stop if you aren’t ready.”

I was touched by his care but that itch in my panties was just getting worse. I’d already made up my mind, so I unzipped the sleeping bad and sat up in front of him. Freddie did too, and as he did, I reached back and unhooked my bra.

Freddie’s eyes got real wide as I sat there with my arms folded over my breast, holdin’ my bra over myself. I must have been quite the sight with my blond hair all wild like and nothing on beside my panties. And why not, If I can say without bragging. My boobs were large enough to spill out over my hands and while I was small, I’d spent my life working on the farm, so I was strong and firm for my size. But as much as he seemed entranced by looking at me, it was his body that held my gaze.

Freddie was a very muscular man, the kind of muscles a man gets from weight lifting which is a different thing from the kind hard work gives a man. He seemed cut from dark stone and just as powerful. He was so handsome that he was the only thing I could think about as I lowered my arms and set my bra aside.

There was no more point in waiting and Freddie opened the sleeping bag all the way until it covered the grass like a thick blanket. Then, he kissed me again and laid me down on my back.

Now, I knew almost nothing’ about sex, but I did grow up on a farm and Mama had told me a few things when we had that ‘talk’ parents used to have when their kids came of age. One of the things I remembered was that she said it might hurt the first time I was with a man, and that thought kept tickling at me as Freddie’s hands smoothed over my skin. When he began pulling my panties down my hips, I raised up, more than willing to let him have me no matter how much it might hurt.

The memories we made after that are some I have cherished ever since. The moon was bright, and I could see him clearly as he kissed my body from my breast to my thighs. I’d never expected anything could feel so good, especially when he was sucking on my nipples. I held his head agaist me, wanting to squirm from the joy he was giving me. So it was I felt only excitement when he pushed his skivvies off and let his penis rise in the air.

Now, I’d never seen a man’s penis, certainly not one rampant and ready for sex. I had no idea what to expect, but even still I was shocked at how big it was, and just as shocked by its beauty. Freddie guided my hand to him, letting me feel it and showing me how he liked to be touched. He moaned out loud as I began stroking it up and back.

Freddie was long enough for me to use both hands and still not cover that big head on the end. I loved how warm he felt, and how hard it was underneath his soft skin.

Freddie touched me as I explored him, dipping his finger inside me and letting my wetness coat my sensitive petals until I was hot and open, ready for what we were both wanting to do.

Finally, he moved in between my legs and pushed them wide open, giving himself room to take me. My heart was thumping like it was gonna explode and I held my breath when he guided that thick knob between my puffy folds.

I cannot express how good that felt. His skin became slick in my wetness and glided up and down as he stroked me with it. I was almost in a trance when he pushed it down and forward, sinking it into my opening. I expected to feel pain, but instead just a feeling of being stretched, and an incredible sensation of fullness came over me. It did sting a bit, but that only made it all so much better.

It turned out all those years of horseback riddin’ had already broken my barrier, so he didn’t need to tear me up. Still, it took him several tries before I felt him slide up and all the way inside me. What a satisfying feeling that was. And not just his being in me. I could feel his strength holding me, his hot body on mine and his hips thrusting and brushing agaist my inner thighs. It was glorious.

When Freddie laid over me and kissed me while moving inside me with that wonderful rhythm, all I could do was hold him tight and wrap my legs around his. I could never forget how it felt, laying there with his head on my shoulder, watching the stars as he made a woman out of me. I was too overwhelmed to even think about orgasm for myself, but I became so happy when I felt him getting ready to cum.

I guess it was because I couldn’t believe what I was able to do to him, and the fact that this was a moment only we would share. Whatever it was, I held him to me, not letting him go when his moment arrived. Freddie understood, and drove himself into me, grunting and shaking as he gave me his seed.

oo0oo

Freddie and I spent the next three days, living free at Woodstock. We made love whenever we found a chance and no one cared that he was black or that we were together. I was crushed when it ended because Freddie had to leave for home before reporting back to the army. I had no address so we couldn’t keep in touch.

But we met some friends who invited me to go live in a commune in Pennsylvania. I spent the next five years with them. And Freddie? He left me one more gift. Our son, who I named Luther after Dr. King. I thought it proper as his father was named after Mr Douglas. I learned more about life, and more about living in those few years than I had ever learned back home.

Years later, I took him to the Vietnam memorial and there, we found his fathers name inscribed on the black granite. Freddie never made it home from Vietnam, but he did leave his son with me.