She came out of nowhere and into my life. Words were all I knew, but they captured me. They drew me in and filled me with joy and with a hope that one day we'd meet. A hope that one day, though she said it couldn't happen, I'd hold her in my arms.

She shared photos of her wonderful breasts and further down of my desire. She shared pictures of looking away, but never a face. She explained to me why, but it didn't matter. I wanted this amazing, wonderful lady.

I didn't need to see her face to know who she was, for looks are just an attractant. Her words were the picture that explained it all to me, and I fell in love.

Her heart told me of a loving, caring person, one who gave of herself where it was needed without a thought for herself.

She was true to her word, so I took what she told me to heart and knew it was true.

We kept in touch through cyber communication, and I accepted this because of who she was. I didn't want to lose even one chat, one email, or one message. They were like transfusions into my blood that kept me coming back and longing for more.

There were reasons on both sides that kept us apart, but the fact that I gave 100% while getting scraps in return did not sit well, but still, her words...

There were times I wanted to leave to get away from this torturous love, but her timing was impeccable, and she came through with the words I wanted... needed to hear and brought me back in.

Please believe, leaving is not what I wanted, but at times it seemed to be the only way out of misery.

You must understand what goes through my head. When she is not communicating, I feel a loss. I feel something special is missing in my life that needs to be filled, but not just by anybody.

Strange it must seem to you who reads this, but we share so much in common. So much of our lives is a mirror effect of the other, just down different roads.

It truly is a tortured love, but it is something I choose - for now. Will it last? I don't know. For now? - yes. Tomorrow? ... who knows. She may use her amazing timing to make me see that a different road is not what I want. She has that about her, and believe it or not, it's something I love about her.

My whole body warms to her words, and I expect I'll stay around in this tortured love affair a while longer for she does have my love.