Okay, so I’m doing this because of a forum thread where some people said they want to see more true stories here on Lush. So alright. Since the true story of my entire life is just like a porn movie, I thought it was high time to CUM forward, so to speak and let all you horny bastards and trollops in on some of the true events of my enviably amazing life. I certainly don’t mean to make anyone envious of my fabulous existence, however, if that happens as an unavoidable residual effect, so be it.

It’s really hard – no, not that! you fucking pervs! – to truly describe to the little people how the one hundred percent true events my amazing life are mere dreams for the huddled masses.

Just to give you minions of masturbation a random example, I’ll tell you what happened a few weeks ago on one of the hottest days of the whole summer. A busload of cheerleaders from the local community college happened to get a flat tire in front of my lavish home.

I was out front watering the flowers in my brand new, lemon yellow Speedo. When the bus pulled to a stop, the girls all disembarked in their tiny little flippy skirts and sports bras. They were all blonde…of course…with huge knockers and ripe asses that stuck out from the bottoms of their little skirts.

As the happy, pneumatically curvaceous girls bounded across my lawn, I happened to notice none of them were wearing panties as their skirt hems flipped and flopped. Then I remembered how their campus was on the poor side of town, and that the unfortunate things probably couldn’t afford proper undergarments. Being the deeply compassionate human being I am, my heart swelled with kindness. I knew I was just going to have to help these half naked darlings in whatever way I could.

I assumed the one leading the bountiful boob bouncing charge across my lawn was the head cheerleader. Her name was Mindeee (yes, that’s with three e’s), and she of course had the biggest bazoombas of the bunch. Presumably, she was going to ask to use my phone to call for a tow truck, but when she spotted the massive mountain of manmeat straining my Speedo, the poor thing stopped in her tracks and gasped.

“Omigod omigod!” she exclaimed. “Aren’t you Franklin Roosevelt Lee!?”

“Why yes, girls,” I replied with a conciliatory chuckle.

Taking pity on the poor creatures, I immediately invited them to enjoy some refreshing, ice-cold lemonade – which they drank so thirstily they spilled most of it down upon their sports bras, wetting the skintight fabric unto the point their pertilicious nipplings formed succulent pokies – and to enjoy an invigorating skinny dip in my spacious swimming pool.

Not wanting them to feel uncomfortable, it seemed the most courteous thing I could do was remove my Speedo so they wouldn’t be the only naked ones. When Mindeee and the others oohed and ahhhed over the rock-solid, Grecian definition of my perfect body, they all began screaming and asking if I would twerk for them.

“Sorry girls,” I replied sadly. “Jen asked me the same thing the last time she came over, and I’m afraid I sprained my ballsac.”

All the girls pouted sadly, so taking pity on them, I began stroking my Roman pillar of pussy-pleasing prominence and treated them to a view of my fully engorged love lance.

Having a ten and three-quarter inch cock is one of the many fabulous aspects of my rockstar lifestyle. I could round it off and just call it an even ten-incher, but I do appreciate accuracy in such matters. Of course, rounding it up to eleven would seem a tad arrogant, wouldn’t you say? However, those of you in Europe and elsewhere are cordially invited to convert my prodigious penile dimensions to centimeters and be even more in awe.

“Omigod omigod, we want to suck it!” the girls squealed as if in a chorus.

Soaking wet, the girls climbed out of the pool and crowded on the deck on their knees in groups of three and four in order to share my magnificence between them.

“Oooooooooo, Mr. Lee, you sure gotta big pussy poker there,” exclaimed Sindeee, Mindeee’s stepsister.

“That’s right, Sindeee,” I chuckled. “I not only am a Gold Member, I have a Gold Member.”

“Omigod omigod, we MUST fornicate with you with prodigious vigor and all due alacrity!” Mindeee squealed excitedly.

So all twelve girls lined up before me on their hands and knees as I proceeded to fuck each one. Lindeee, the one at the very end started to complain that she was getting tired of waiting so long for her share of Mister Magic.

“Be a darling and run inside and make me a sandwich while you’re waiting,” I said.

“Omigod omigod, Frank Lee asked me to make him a sandwich!”

The excited lass bounded naked into the mansion, returning with not only a sandwich, but a cold beer. By that time, I’d worked my way to the middle of the line. Those girls I’d already fucked were sprawled half conscious across the patio.

Sandwich in one hand, beer in the other, I proceeded to fuck my way to the end of the line. I also tit-fucked Lindeee because the girl could really make one hell of a sandwich.

By now, I know you’re all wishing you could be me and have a chance of living a fabulous life filled with pussy, free sandwiches and beer.