Watching Mai Li was as good as smoking a joint in the poppy fields of Nam. One night I wanted more. It made me feel small like a corner junkie begging for a fix.

She didn’t play the offended game though when I asked her for the favor, she acquiesced right away. She said, "It's alright, American gentleman, I got you." She then generously gave herself away for free.

She squatted on a Priapus, son of Dionysus and Aphrodite. She played barefoot, gyrating on the floor, twerking and squirting, squealing like a pig. Her face was all scrunched when her lips contorted into an o shape. Her pretty, brown eyes were all a flutter, her eyelashes like parasols and her negligee, light as mosquito netting.

What a performance! I watched her every move, as I worked my hands down below in a royal salute.

Until I heard those foul words from my attendant, “Lights out, Grandpa. Cam shows over," as he walked me across the ward to my empty bed.