Sunday afternoon and I was at the coffee shop waiting for Cait.

I had slept way too long that morning but then I had called her, after a quick shower and an even quicker breakfast and she hadn't answered. It kept on ringing and then it went to voicemail so I hung up, and I was sure she had changed her mind about missing me or something, or maybe I had waited too long to call and I should have called her right after I woke up or maybe even yesterday when I got her text, and I felt this huge lump in my throat that just kept growing until I couldn’t breathe and I was about to throw myself down on the bed crying and kicking and hitting the pillow and everything when she called me back, and she said “Sorry, phone was in the other room.”

And I acted cool and said “Yeah, sure,” like I was also busy with stuff, but when I had said it I realized it sounded like I didn't believe her, and I panicked and I said “I mean, it's cool, I don't care,” and I could have bit my tongue off.

So I said “I mean like… I do care. About you. But not… what… room... you were in.”

And I just fell back on my bed squeezing my eyes shut and I thought, 'Fuck, what's wrong with me?'

“You okay?” Cait said, and I said “No.”

Then she said “You wanna meet up?” and it sounded like she was trying to talk through a lump in her throat also and that almost made me howl, and I said “Yeah.”

We agreed to meet at the coffee shop, and I was there forty minutes early and I checked the time on my phone every two minutes and every time I did I felt so stupid because it had only been two minutes and I put it deeper in my handbag so I wouldn't check it again, and then two minutes later I would take it out and check it again.

And then Cait came through the door and I almost ran to her but I didn't, but when she was at my table, I got up to hug her and suddenly I was sure she was going to say 'I don't think we should see each other anymore' and I froze halfway up from the chair, but then she smiled and she hugged me and we both said “I'm sorry,” at the same time, and we sat down and she held my hand across the table and the world was perfect and we talked until the waitress came and said “Excuse me, but we're closing now,” and then I walked her to her car.

We had talked about just about everything except the thing we really had to talk about, but then on our way to the car Cait held my hand again and said “I'm sorry for freaking out like that that time,” and I said “No, I'm sorry for just doing that to you without permission,” and she said “It's okay. Now. It's just that I thought it was important that my first time with someone was with a boy. That I loved. So that it could be special. But I think I want it to be you.”

“But you said you're not into girls.”

“I'm not.”

“But I'm a girl.”

“I know. But you're you too. I mean, I still want it to be special and if it's going to be special, it has to be with you.”

Then I said “I think I understand,” but I didn't really, and I said “We kinda already did it anyway you know,” and she smiled and said “Not the way a boy would do it.” Then she drove me home.

I knew mom didn't have one, but I checked in her drawer anyway. There were other things, but not the kind Cait was talking about. But I knew someone who had exactly that.

So the next day at school I asked Lucy “How's your mom?” and she said “She's good,” and I said “Great!” and I asked her if I could go home with her after school and she said “Of course,” and at her place her mom made chicken potpie and then we had strawberry ice cream and we didn't really have any homework or any studying to do, so the three of us just watched TV all night.

I couldn’t concentrate at all about what was on because all I could think about was how I could get just a minute alone with her mom and how I was then going to ask her to borrow it, but it just didn't happen and I couldn’t think of a way.

But then Richard sent me a bunch of texts, so I told them about him and they both said “You have to tell him you don't want to be with him anymore,” and I said “But I don't really have a reason,” and Lucy said “You don't want to, that's a reason,” so I wrote 'I don't think we should be together anymore' and he answered 'Bitch!' so I wrote 'Fuck you!'

And then I acted like that made me upset and I said “Lucy, can we go to your room a bit?” and she said “Yeah,” and we did.

“What's up?” Lucy said, and nothing was really so I had to think of something, and I said “Do you think I'm a bitch?” and Lucy said “What? Absolutely not. You're the best person I know,” and I said “Maybe you just don't know me very well,” and she said “No, I do. You're a perv but you're not a bitch,” and then she giggled and I stuck my tongue out at her.

Then I told her I had to go pee and she said “Okay, I'll be downstairs,” and I said “No, can't you wait here? I want to talk more,” and she said “Sure.”

So I left the room and I made sure to just like casually close the door behind me and then I went to go downstairs and I was just going to ask her mom straight out but then I passed her room and the door was open so I thought maybe it was better to just take it, it's not like she was going to use it without me anyway, so I went in.

And the strap-on was where it always was and I had used it with Lucy's mom three times already, and the last time was over a month ago, before this thing with Cait, and I had enjoyed it and I had enjoyed the time before that too, but Lucy's mom I think still thought she was forcing me and I let her think that because I thought she liked it better then, and she called med 'whore' and 'slut' and things like that and I kinda liked that too and I came several times before she did, but I didn't let her know that I did.

I took it with me to the bathroom and I hid it under the plastic bag in the trash can and then I went back to Lucy and she said “So?” I and said “Huh?” and she said “You said you wanted to talk more,” and I had forgotten about that so I just said “Yeah, but it's nothing. Can we stay here in your room and watch a movie or something?” and she said “Okay,” and we watched ‘Frozen’ again.

I spent the night there, in Lucy's bed and we slept head to toe like always and I had to fight the urge to suck on her toes, like I always had to, and then in the morning I took my bag and hurried to be the first to the bathroom and I put the strap-on in the bag before I took a shower and then Lucy came in and she took a shower while I put makeup on, and she sang “Beeeees will buzz…!” and she knew all the words of course and she even danced a little in there.

So Cait came over that evening, and mom was working the night shift so we watched TV in the living room and things were back to the way they had been before. At least almost. It was a little bit different because there was this kind of tension between us, like we both knew what was supposed to happen and what we both wanted to happen but we didn't know how to start so we could get to that point where it then would just happen on its own.

We never had that problem before because one of us would just start, and I would pull my pants down or she would pull her pants down and I would just start making up a story or if I didn't then she would say “Tell me something,” and then I would. Or lately she would take her phone out and I would lie with my head in her lap and we looked at the pictures together and she would talk about them and then I would take my pants off and masturbate and she would put her hand inside her panties and masturbate too and I would feel her hand move against the back of my head.

But this time none of us did anything, and finally I couldn't take it anymore so I said “Can I kiss you?” and she said “No, I don't think I want that,” and I said “Oh, okay,” and I felt really stupid, but she said “Let's go to your room,” and we did. And in my room she took all her clothes off and lay down on the bed and then she said “Where is it?” and I had it under the bed so I got it out and showed it to her and she said “Put it on,” and I started to do that and she said “What are you doing?” because I hadn't taken my pants off or anything and we both laughed.

I undressed and then I put it on and Cait said “Wow!” and I looked at myself in the mirror and I said "Wow!" too because I looked so hot wearing it.

And then I got in bed with her, and she spread her legs and I spat into my hand and rubbed it on the strap-on, but then Cait said “No, wait,” and she got up and stood on all fours in front of me and she took it in her mouth, and she sucked and licked it like she had seen me do to the real thing and I didn't feel anything of course but it still turned me on like crazy, and she was really into it and I said “You're going to make me jizz in your mouth,” and that made her laugh.

Then she lay back down and spread her legs again and I got on top of her and I put it to her pussy with my hand and pushed the tip inside of her and she said “Oooh…” and I let it go and slowly pushed it in.

She stared into my eyes with her mouth open and she looked like she was surprised or in pain or both and then I fucked her, slowly at first and she groaned every time I had it all the way in and when I went a little bit faster she started to knead her tits and pull and pinch her nipples and she closed her eyes and spread her legs even wider and then she said “Oh fffffu-uck!” when she came and her body twitched and she said “Nnngh!” with every twitch.

I let her settle down with the strap-on inside of her, and when I started to pull it out, she wrapped her legs around me and said “Oh no you don't,” and I fucked her again like that and she loosened her grip around me but kept her legs so that her heels were pushing into my ass cheeks. And then she came again, and when it was over I sat up a bit and grabbed her legs and put them over my shoulders and then I lay back down on her and now she had her knees practically by her shoulders and her face was sweaty and red and so close to my face that the tips of our noses touched, and when she came for the third time, she grabbed my hair with both hands and then she stuck her tongue in my mouth and we kissed through her orgasm and that made me come too and we moaned and grunted into each other’s mouths.

And when we were lying there next to each other catching our breaths, she said “You kissed me anyway,” and I said “I'm pretty sure you kissed me first,” and then she leaned over me and kissed me again.

We slept like that, holding each other and I woke up real early in the morning and we were still holding each other, and the room was dark except for the moonlight and a line of light coming from the door and mom was whispering from there “Psst! Honey. Are you two all right?” and I was just half awake, and I whispered “Yeah, mom. Go away.”

And she did, and then I looked down and saw I was still wearing the strap-on and it was sticking up like a flagpole and mom had probably seen it but it only bothered me a little.
I took it off, and Cait stirred a bit and sighed and buried her face deeper in my neck and pulled me tighter, and I fell asleep again.