After more than fifty years of existing in a life of pleasing my husband, family, relatives, friends and keeping up a facade of an ordinary working woman and mother, I was about to burst out, to shed my old life as a snake sheds its skin. This night I was about to do something that I could never have imagined, and I was buzzing with anticipation.
Let me explain.
A couple of years ago my life had reached a low point. My children were grown and had families of their own and I was sick of my life, sick of not having sex, sick of existing from day to day and I had begun to look at websites without my husband's knowledge.
Yes, all right, pornographic websites. The kind where one can watch others perform on cam and talk to them via text. Don't get me wrong, I would never perform on these sites, heaven forbid, but I did begin to converse with a young woman. She was not a performer either but someone like me who was just fed up with her husband being away all the time.
We began emailing each other and sharing our fantasies only my fantasies began to get longer and become like stories as I explained to her the things I had felt. I began to create stories around situations that I had seen and she loved them. She kept saying that I should publish them but I never really thought much of them.
The more she urged me, the more I began to consider what she said and so, one day, I collated all the emails I had sent her about my first fantasy and edited them together. The result was a short story and so, I looked for a way to share it.
It wasn't long before I found a site and posted it there, never once thinking that anyone would be in the slightest bit interested in my amateur jottings but how wrong I was. It was read by thousands of people, and I received some wonderful comments so I wrote another and another until I was hooked.
All of a sudden, I had found something that excited me and my life began to change. I was happy again and my life had meaning once more, I could make people happy just by writing stories.
As time passed I began to make friends and very soon, after thanking a reader for her kind comment on my story we became close... very close. She was not like anyone I had ever known, and I let her into my heart.
One of the many things that fascinated me about her was her love of music, in particular, Metal! She introduced me to something I had not taken much notice of before, a genre of music called 'Symphonic metal'.
All of a sudden, I had found the kind of music I had been yearning for all my life.
I love rock music, I love it loud, very loud, and heavy but musical, not just something hammered out to make a noise.
I also love classical music, particularly loud, very loud and heavy! Wagner, Beethoven, Bernstein and more.
I realised that Symphonic metal was all that and more, a kind of music I could disappear into, to crank up, close my eyes and live... really live!!
I began to buy CDs. Nightwish, Xandria, Leaves Eyes... I loved it and, to make matters worse... or better, I loved the style. I adored the way the singers dressed. Black leather, Gothic dresses and coats and the jet black hair and make-up.
I had begun to live again!
And so, here I was, in my bedroom, preparing myself for the first time in a life of over half a century, to attend a metal concert!
I stood in front of my full-length mirror totally naked and devoid of any make up whatsoever. A blank canvas with every vestige of my previous life erased even to the point that, an hour before I had shaved my sex totally smooth, another first.
I looked down between my legs and smiled, pleased with the effect.
I was still a little pink down there but I had carefully moisturised and had managed to avoid any nicks that would spoil the effect.
I couldn't help but run my fingers over the soft, naked flesh even allowing one to dip between my petals momentarily.
I shuddered before the beautiful vision, at least to my eyes, and felt a bead of moisture form as my finger passed over my entrance.
Without a single thought, I lifted my carefully manicured finger to my lips and sucked my own moisture from its tip.
I looked at my fingers in the reflection, the long black painted nails being the only part of my new image I had so far completed.
I was quite pleased with my body, considering my age. I exercised regularly and ate all the right things, even working out with small weights.
At five feet ten in bare feet, I was tall and, because of my exercise regime, I was also quite slim and toned but not hard, like a bodybuilder.
Standing with my feet slightly parted I looked at my mound. I was pleased with what I saw, a neat slit with lips only slightly protruding and I also noticed that, due to my building excitement, my nub had become just visible, peeping out shyly from its sheath.
My breasts too were still quite firm, being small they had not sagged and as I had bottle fed my children, had maintained their natural perkiness but for how much longer I couldn't begin to imagine. For now, however, they looked good and my long, straining nipples proved testament to how pleased I really was.
Finally, I looked at my hair, my crowning glory.
It was naturally brown, chestnut when I was younger but now I had to help it a little with a bottle to hide the ever increasing grey.
It wasn't brown now though. I had spent the whole morning at the hair dressers having it trimmed and coloured and now it hung down to the middle of my back, gleaming in the artificial lighting, a shining jet black parted in the centre and brushed straight down over my shoulders!
I noticed that it made my deep brown eyes look even darker, almost black themselves and, as I stared, they seemed to narrow and take on an almost evil appearance which I thought only enhanced the over-all look.
Eventually, I turned away, time was passing and it was time to begin constructing the image I had long dreamed of creating but never had the courage.
Sitting at my dresser, the mirror, surrounded with small but bright LEDs was my easel.
I painted my face with the care of an artist, not missing a single detail. Black Kohl for my eyebrows, not too thick but very dark.
Black, thickening mascara to make my lashes longer and blacker and again, the black eye pencil to create that wonderful look that seemed to extend my eyes to points at the outer edges.
A little blusher to accentuate my cheekbones and finally a cherry red lipstick.
I could not believe the reflection I saw staring back at me. I did not know this woman but I sure as hell liked her!
With a smile, I turned away from the mirror and went over to the bed where my new outfit was laid-out ready.
The first item was a black suspender belt of lace and a shining satin ribbon which I carefully placed around my slim hips, fastened the hooks and turned it until it was in the correct position and comfortable. Next, I took a pair of sheer black stockings from their wrapper and draped them beside me on the bed.
This was another first for me as I had not worn stockings before, always tights and these were very fine indeed, just ten denier.
I took the first one and pulled it up over my hand and arm, luxuriating in the smooth unstressed nylon then let it slip down into a bunch around my hand, leaned forwards and pulled it slowly over my toes of which I had also painted the nails gloss black.
Carefully, so as not to catch the fine mesh, I shimmied the stocking up over my ankle and higher, smoothing as I went, over my knee and on until the top had stretched out and formed around my thigh, high enough for the hanging suspenders to reach and hold it in place.
Once I was satisfied that all was well, I repeated the whole thing with my other leg and then stood up and walked over to the mirror and smiled, still pleased as this piece of self art began to take shape in the way I had planned.
On the bed was a small stiff paper bag tied at the top with a pink ribbon which I slowly untied. Inside, a pair of Black, semi see-through lace briefs adorned with a tiny black bow on the waistband at the front.
I stepped into them and, once again checked my reflection, turning around to check the sheer lace covering my rear and so, the foundation was completed. Now it was time to complete this living masterpiece.
The first garment was a short black skirt of the softest leather. When I fastened it around me it was like pulling on a glove and moulded itself to the contours of my hips and buttocks. The soft suede against my naked flesh felt like the gentlest of caresses.
It was long enough to be decent but short enough to reveal that I wore stockings and not tights.
The next item I took from my bed was a Bustier, once again of the softest black leather that I could afford and laced at the front with black strips of fine leather.
That also fitted like a glove and I threaded and tied the laces up the front which left a gap of about one inch, revealing pink flesh. Because I was small busted, I had no cleavage but the merest hint of my breasts was visible through that narrow, open space.
The image was almost complete. There was just one more thing to complete my transformation so I went back to the dresser and sat down once more.
In front of me, on the table, was a thin black velvet choker with lace edging and an ornate cross of black metal with a diamond stud in the centre... well, all right, it wasn't really a diamond, that would have been far too extravagant, even for this outfit.
I had spent over a thousand pounds already, so a diamond?
No, a Swarovski crystal was perfectly good enough.
I put it around my neck and fastened it at the back then looked at my reflection in the large mirror.
I shuddered with pleasure.
I could not see me any more but a gorgeous Goth stranger and that thought gave me a shiver like a shower of ice crystals had just blown straight through me.
At the side of the dresser was another, larger paper bag and I reached down and took out the large box it contained. Placing it on the floor I removed the lid to reveal a gleaming pair of black Victorian style ankle boots which laced up the front and had four inch heels which were little more than spikes.
I was a little concerned that they were brand new and I would be wearing them all night but, once they were both on and laced to the top I didn't care whether they pinched or not, they looked perfect!
There was one last item, a final piece to top it all off, my coat.
The coat cost almost half my budget. It was a heavy, pure Alpaca wool, black Anastasia coat with a fur lined hood and silk embroidered buttons and hooks down the bodice to my waist. Its skirt reached to my ankles leaving only my boots visible and when I walked it would allow my legs to appear briefly through the unfastened overlap.
At last, I was satisfied. My work was done and now it was time to leave and I stepped out of the bedroom feeling fantastic!
There was just one obstacle that I could see at this point, my husband.
He knew how much I loved the music but he had no idea about my outfit. He did know I was going to the concert and he was quite happy for me to go on my own but as he had no interest he had no idea whatsoever how much I had been drawn to it.
"I'm going now,” I called as I passed the living room door, “The taxi is here.”
“All right, Darling,” he called back, not once taking his eyes from the TV screen, “Have a nice time.”
I sighed.
I had hoped that just this once he might take a little notice. I really wanted to see his reaction when he saw me but it was not to be. Ah well, his loss.
The concert was being held in the grounds of an old castle ruins which gave the whole show an extra dimension. Lighting had been set up to enhance the venue and large burning torches had been placed around what remained of the castle walls.
I paid the driver and stepped out into the darkness. I had seen him looking at me through his rear view mirror for the whole journey. I was flattered as he was young and quite good looking but I couldn't help but wonder whether he thought I was hot or just an old woman grasping at lost youth and in a moment of madness I allowed my knees to part ever so slightly in a way that looked as though I had not realized.
My question was answered as I went to step away,
“Excuse me... Miss,” he called through his opened window.
I turned.
“I'm sorry,” he went on, “I don't usually make comments about my passengers but I just wanted to tell you that you are gorgeous and your outfit is fantastic.”
Even in the darkness I could see his face was flushed and I felt my own flush a little with pride.
I didn't reply but just smiled and turned away wondering if I had unintentionally revealed more than I should.
Deep down something stirred and I felt terribly wanton at that moment as I kind of hoped that I had!
Until that point, my confidence had begun to wane and nerves were beginning to get the better of me but with his sweet words still echoing in my ears, I stepped out towards the entrance, taking long steps to ensure that my legs were visible when I walked as much they could possibly be.
There was about thirty minutes until the show was due to begin and the arena was already crowded. I looked around desperately trying to spot someone nearer to my own age but there didn't appear to be anyone over the age of thirty.
My stomach began to flutter, had I overdone it? Everyone seemed to be wearing black so at least I wasn't too out of place but most of them were dressed in jeans and ts with bandannas.
I felt very conspicuous until I spotted another leather clad woman and another. Now I could relax and enjoy the show.
Because the castle was used regularly for music concerts and plays there was an entrance complex with ticket office and cloakrooms.
It was Autumn and although it was dark now the temperature was cool rather than cold so I decided to leave my coat with the attendant, certain the rising heat from so many people would keep me warm.
The young lady behind the desk took my money and handed me a small ticket and held out her arm for my coat.
I couldn't help but notice that she watched me intently as I released each of the embroidered buttons and seemed to give a little gasp as I slipped it from my shoulders.
I had not really taken a lot of notice of females before but I did notice this one because through her thin black tee shirt a could clearly see two points appear on her breasts.
For some reason, I found it incredibly arousing that a woman was finding me attractive and not just a woman but a very pretty young woman too!
“Oh wow! I love your outfit!” she gushed.
“You don't think I'm a little old?” I asked her, suddenly feeling very conscious of my age again.
“Old? Hell no! What are you, forty-one, forty-two?”
I smiled and shook my head.
“Add ten,” I whispered loudly so she would hear above the general hubbub.
“Nooo, wow, you must be doing something right then.”
There was a small pocket in my skirt and I slipped the ticket into it, thanked her and headed towards the auditorium.
Temporary seating had been set up around the sides but the main part was devoid of chairs. I assumed that people preferred to stand and dance which I totally understood. I had a seat in one of the stands but doubted I would be able to sit still for long.
After a short time, the stage was plunged into darkness and gentle violins began. I knew the tune immediately and, suddenly the lights flared brightly, simultaneously with the crash of drums and bass guitar.
In that instant, all my fears were gone and the music took me.
My assumption proved to be correct as, along with everyone else I was on my feet dancing, my hair swinging back and forth as I shook my head up and down and side to side.
Somehow, I found myself at floor level, crushed amongst all the other fans and the touch of their bodies pressed against mine as we swayed and moved to the heavy beat of the music was beyond anything I could ever have imagined!
I felt hands touching me. Strong masculine hands, soft feminine hands and I didn't care one little bit. I was ecstatic and then a strange sensation gripped me, I felt myself being lifted, many hands were raising me off my feet! I didn't resist but remained rigid as I tipped onto my back and began move, feet first, along a sea of hands towards the stage and as I moved I could feel those hands touching every inch of me, supporting me and when I felt hands on my buttocks, I loved it, hands on the bare flesh of my thighs, I loved it. My skirt had ridden up a little, exposing my lace see-through panties and I loved that too.
My mind was in a spin and nothing mattered anymore, all my inhibitions were gone!
Before I knew it I was being lifted onto the stage and I stood beside the singer who looked at me as she sang and smiled.
She was gorgeous, mid thirties and dressed in a similar fashion to myself except that she wore shorts with a skirt of soft leather that hung almost to the floor behind her and I felt myself go weak at the knees. I had admired her since I first heard her but never imagined that I would ever be this close to her.
During the guitar rift she lowered her microphone and said,
“ Came backstage, afterwards, have a drink,” but before I could reply she was singing again and I was ushered from the stage by the security staff.
The concert lasted over three hours in all but it seemed as though time had stood still and I was so disappointed when it was over. It had been the best night of my life and I felt as though I belonged there, accepted and welcomed.
Every penny I had spent on this single night had been worth it and, as I made my way to the cloakroom I felt as though this was the first day of a new life.
I put my hand in my pocket for the hat-check ticket and my heart jumped into my mouth, it was gone! I searched but the pocket was barely big enough for it to be hidden, it was definitely gone!
The young woman appeared.
“Are you all right, Mistress?” she asked. “Is something wrong?”
“Erm, yes,” I replied, panicking now that my beautiful coat could have been stolen, “My ticket, it's gone!”
The girl smiled.
“Oh, don't worry about that. I remember you and the coat, I will get it for you,” and she turned and went between the rails, reappearing a few seconds later with my coat over her arm.
“Oh, thank goodness,” I breathed a big sigh of relief, “I was worried for a minute.”
She handed me the coat and as I took it from her, she said,
“I saw you on the stage with Tanya. She is beautiful isn't she?”
I nodded agreement as she went on,
“You looked very sexy together.”
“Oh, go-on with you,” I giggled and made a play of pushing her shoulder but I also noticed that her nipples were again pushing outwards through her t-shirt.
“No, I mean it, you looked great up there.”
As she spoke she had put the palm of her hand on my waist and had a far away look in her eyes.
“What did she say to you? I saw her whisper something.”
I laughed then.
“She invited me back stage for a drink but I expect she says that to everyone.”
The young woman frowned.
“No, she doesn't. She never invites fans back, ever. Aren't you going then?”
“Well no, I...” and as I spoke I saw something protruding from the pocket of my coat. I took it out and saw that it was a backstage pass. 'Access all areas' it said.
The young woman looked at me and raised her hands, tilting her head to one side as if to say 'well then?'.
I took a deep breath and heard her say,
“I doubt you will get a second chance.”
She helped me on with my coat.