I walk down the street, watching life go on around me. The street vendors call out prices for goods that only the tourists will buy. A full year I've considered myself a resident here. I’ve done nothing but live here, and I was never a tourist. I was a girl who came here for a fresh start. A new adventure. No horrid past to run from. No sad story of needing a new life. Just the thrill of seeing the country. Funny how it still seems like running away.

I stop and fiddle with a small, wooden toy on a cart. I wonder what he’s doing? Does he still think of me? His brother would love this. I put it down. I can’t keep living like this. Because this makes it feel even more like running away. But he knows where I am. He can come find me if he wants. Besides, he’s probably forgotten all about me. Moved on, just like me. Ha, yeah right. I continue my walk through the square as I head towards a small street off to the right. Nobody is down here. No one ever is. They are scared of the alleyways because they don’t know how to navigate them. I come out the other end in a nice looking neighborhood that anyone would be happy in. My roommate sure is. I should be. This is home. I walk up a flight of stairs and open my front door. Home sweet home. 

“Kelsey, I’m back!”

No answer. Weird, she must be out. That’s unlike her. I walk into the kitchen to get a drink and freeze.

“Hi.”

Such a simple word with such a simple response, but I can’t do anything but stare. He’s here. In my apartment. In front of me.

“Did you forget how to speak?”

I forgot that he was waiting for an answer. 

“What are you doing here?”

The only words I can come up with. Smooth. He raises an eyebrow and smirks. 

“That’s my welcome? Not very warm.”

He’s teasing me. I give him a wary look as I evade him to get a drink of water from the sink next to him. 

“You didn’t answer my question.”

I lean against my kitchen table, which is a safe distance away. He looks good, too good. 

“I came to see you.”

He says it as if it should be obvious. As if I should have expected it. 

“Why?”

I’m confused now. He doesn’t seem to understand my hesitation. In fact, he’s taking offense by it. Huh?

“I’ve missed you. You told me where you were going, so I decided to come see you.”

His face flashes with a trace of sadness before the mask of that smug face comes back,

“Haven’t you missed me?”

All I can do is stare at him. Is he serious? 

“It’s been a year, Alex. You act as if nothing happened.”

That came out stronger than planned. That’s why he’s frowning, right? 

“What happened, Gabs? We decided to see the world before deciding to continue. I’m ready to keep going. Aren’t you?”

He’s serious. He is actually serious. I can’t decide whether to laugh and hug him or scream and strangle him. Both? I opt for neither. I turn my back to him. 

“It’s been a long time, Alex. I’ve changed. You’ve changed. We both have separate lives. Mine is here. Yours is back home. You didn’t come to me about this after a couple months; you came to me after a whole year has gone by. Do you honestly expect me to think that this was just some extended time off? That’s not how it works.”

My voice betrays me in showing the unseen sadness my heart feels. I’m living it all over again just by him being here. Can’t he see that? My shoulders fall as I give in to the familiar pain. Don’t cry, don’t cry. I repeat the mantra to myself as I wander to the living room area and sit down. My eyes stay downcast as I study the rug beneath my feet. I hear him push off the counter and walk towards me. 

“It’s not like we had a big fight, Gabs. College came and we left. You left.”

My eyebrows furrow together as my head shoots up. The hell? 

“So this is my fault? Seriously? That’s your tactic, blaming me? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! How the hell did you get into GaTech?”

I can feel the anger coming off of me.

He has the nerve to sneak into my apartment, blame me, and expect me to just fall back into his arms? Fuck no! Alex’s face betrays his surprise, and I see regret flicker across his features. 

“No need for insults, Gabs. I wasn’t blaming you. I was simply stating a fact. You came here, to Colorado. I stayed in Atlanta. I know you wanted to get out, I’m not mad about that.”

The last part came out soft, remorseful and I could hear the sadness, the pain, and the sincerity. I turn my back to him and walk to the window. I can see the Rockies, my Rockies. I breathe deeply, calming myself. I chuckle. There he is. That’s the Alex I know. The Alex I loved. Still love... 

“There you are,” I say, giving voice to my thoughts. I turn to face his confused face.

“What do you mean?”

“That smug, smooth talking guy in my kitchen wasn’t you,” I explain, gesturing to the kitchen, “This is you. You, I will talk to. Not to him. Not to whoever that was.”

He breaks into a ear-to-ear grin. The walls around me crumble a little at that. I always loved his smile. 

“Can I sit? I want to talk about this.”

I can’t say no to him when he’s like this. I kick myself for my weakness and gesture to the couch. 

“Sure. Go ahead.”

He takes the place I had occupied moments before and pats the cushion next to him. I roll my eyes and sit down, close enough to talk but far enough away to keep my head about me. His smile disappears and I find myself missing to goofy thing. He falls serious, not a common mood for him. 

“I never stopped loving you Gabby. I tried. I dated others. I tried so hard to move on. But I couldn’t. Something always felt wrong. I miss you Gabs. I know you’re staying here at least until you graduate if not longer. But I’m willing to do distance, if you are. I want you, Gabby. Only you.”

I look at his hands gripping mine and stay silent, thinking. Isn’t this what I’ve wanted? Isn’t this what I’ve been dreaming about since that night over a year ago? Then why am I not jumping at the opportunity? Why am I so guarded around him? He was right about one thing, there was no fight. No hard feelings. He never hurt me, not once. 

“I’m scared, Alex.” I look up at him, worry and nerves distorting his handsome features. “I’ve lost you once. How do I know I won’t lose you again? Distance can only last for so long. I don’t know if I have the emotional capacity to deal with it. I don’t know if I can trust that much. I don’t want to hurt you again. I couldn’t handle losing or hurting you again. I still feel the pain from the first time.”

I stare down at his chest as my fears wash over me, the pain too familiar. His large hand gently takes hold of my chin and brings my gaze up to meet his. I let my feelings show in my eyes. The pain, sadness, worry and panic. I can tell that it hurts him to see me like that.

“I won’t let any of that happen, Gabs. You know that.”

His gaze drops to my lips, and I’m suddenly aware that he had moved closer to me while we were talking.

“You can trust me, Gabby. I promise you can trust me.”

His voice is low and suddenly husky. His lips press to mine and everything stops. The rest of my walls fall away and I melt into his soft, firm kiss. He breaks away and meets my gaze. He whispers to me, “Let me make love to you. Let me show you just how perfectly we fit together. If afterwards, you still don’t want us, I’ll leave. But I’d like a chance to convince you otherwise.” I see the heat and longing in his gaze, but I also see the genuine love and respect. 

“Yes.” It’s barely above a whisper, but it’s all he needs. Alex stands and takes my hand.

“Which bedroom is yours?”

I point to a closed door on the left, and his grin comes back. This time, though, the goofiness is gone, and, in its place, heat, lust and sexual promise make my knees buckle and shiver run down my spine. Oh my…