I face planted on the floor outside of my room as I tripped on the last step, bruising both my adult face and adult ego. I carefully opened my door and went inside, rubbing my nose and hoping I hadn’t disturbed anyone. I turned on my lamp and undressed, wobbling precariously as I did so.
I caught a glimpse of myself in my full length mirror as I was in the midst of trying to yank my sock off, and paused my struggle to look at myself with the elastic part of the sock still midway around my foot. I thought I looked pretty good, if I do say so myself. I was about 5’11 (rounded, not truncated) and was fairly in-shape despite not exercising, a habit I hoped to pick up before college, although I guess having to bike everywhere because I didn’t have a car had helped. I had fairly short, messy brown hair, a defined jawline with a less defined bit of stubble that I rubbed contemplatively, and bright green eyes that I had been told were ‘cool as fuck’ by a very stoned girl I met once.
I grinned, pointed at my reflection and tried to say something witty, clever, and inspiring that would define the rest of the year. It ended up coming out as, “Chris, you’re” and then deteriorating into a jumble of sounds that culminated in a long, drawn out yawn. Alright subconscious, I can take a hint.
I tugged my boxers down and kicked them into the large tower of dirty laundry I was constructing (tentatively named Babylon Pt. 2), then flopped down into bed.
“I’m pretty cool,” I thought to myself, somewhat narcissistically, as I drifted off to sleep.
* * *
I woke up to find myself lying naked in the middle of a road that stretched out in either direction as far as the eye could see across the rocky, desert-like landscape I found myself in. Looked like Arizona, or Utah maybe? Not really sure. Either way, I should have been badly burned from lying down buck-naked on the black asphalt baking under the sun, but instead I actually felt really comfortable. When I put a hand down to help push myself up, it sank in and I realized the ground was Tempurpedic.
So, at this point, I realized I was dreaming. That took away most of my worries, although this was definitely the most lucid dream I had ever had. It was kind of crazy how realistic everything was, with minute details like scratches or tire marks present on the road.
I turned towards my left and saw a rest stop on the side of the road. That seemed promising. I made my way across the soft, springy ground to it, laughing and spinning as I did, taking a few opportunities to dive down onto the cement and feel it squish beneath me. I heard a beautiful peal of laughter as I was lying on the ground after a particularly fun flip. I lifted propped myself up to see who it was, my jaw falling open when I did.
She was the most beautiful girl I’d ever laid eyes on. She was black, with light brown skin and a large mane of black, exquisitely curly hair that glistened as it cascaded down past her golden hoop earrings onto her shoulders. She was wearing a Batman t-shirt that was way too small for her, stretching the iconic symbol tight across her perky, apple-sized tits. The shirt ended above her pierced navel, exposing a glorious expanse of toned stomach that descended down into the low-riding tight leather pants that covered her legs like a layer of shining paint, perfectly showing off her mind-blowing figure. She was wearing a pair of bright yellow Ray Bans and what looked like the Yellow Submarine Vans shoes to complete her color scheme, and overall just looked really fucking cool.
She raised a hand and waved at me, giggling. I unsteadily raised my arm and returned her wave, still in a stupor from the sight of her.
“Uh, hello,” I said, barely able to recall how to speak.
“Hi Chris!” She said, smiling widely at me. “Nice cock, by the way,” she added, winking.
I looked down at myself. I was lying down propped up on my elbows with all 7 inches (rounded, not truncated) of my cock standing straight up at attention from the sight of her. I blushed a little, then grinned and stood up, the knowledge this was all a dream and taking place in my head giving me the confidence to interact with her. I walked over to her with as cool and nonchalant of a gait as I could manage on the spongy surface, then stopped next to her and leaned against a light post beside her. The lightpost bent easily with my weight, and she let loose another beautiful laugh as I accidentally toppled to the ground.
I laughed with her as I righted myself. “So, what brings you to this neck of the woods?” I asked. I was standing near enough to her that my cock, which was still sticking out perpendicular to my body, was under a foot from her face, the purple head bobbing as I talked. She was still smiling widely, and as she lifted her shades and placed them on her head I saw that her striking hazel eyes were alternating between looking at my cock and my face.
“Oh, just my old bike,” she said, gesturing off-handedly behind me. I turned my head to see a beautiful old-school Harley Davidson chopper that was colored a deep purple with gold trim. I whistled.
“Damn, that’s a fucking cool bike,” I turned back to face her and her eyes flitted back up to my face. “But I think you know that wasn’t what I meant.” She chuckled.
“You’re right; I came to see you , Chris,” she said, accentuating my name by tapping the head of my cock and smiling up at me. I laughed a little, making my cock bounce.
“Well, it would seem I am at a disadvantage. You know who I am and what my name is, but what about you?” I asked.
“That’s a fair question,” she said thoughtfully. Then, she suddenly grabbed hold of my cock and used it to pull herself up, jerking me towards her as she stood. With her hand still wrapped around my cock, slowly moving back and forth and softly squeezing, she leaned up into my ear and whispered, “I’m a goddess.” Then she laughed and danced away from me, leaving me speechless and afraid to touch my cock lest it erupt. I swallowed, with difficulty.
“Well, I could already tell you were a goddess–” I floundered, trying to come up with a witty retort, but she spoke over me before I had finished.
“My name is Coolypso, and I am the goddess of Cool,” she proclaimed, taking a deep bow before dropping her shades back down and leaning against her motorcycle in a decidedly cool stance.
“The goddess of Cool? That’s a thing? Also, did you say Calypso or Coolypso?” The questions sprang out of my mouth in quick succession. She laughed.
“Yes to your first two questions, and it’s with two Os, not an A.” She looked at me over the top of her wayfarers.