He made me nervous.
His eyes. His smile. His height. His body. His hands. His voice. His scent. His butt.
They made me tingle and uncharacteristically damp. I was so embarrassed by my reaction to this stranger.
I wondered if he could tell.
Our families were both on vacation and we coincidentally stayed at the same hotel. He was with his teen aged children and me with mine. Richard was widowed. I was divorced.
If I hazarded a guess, I would have said he was in his early fifties, probably ten or fifteen years older than me. His grey streaked temples and the few life experience wrinkles gave that away. He also did not look like he was from around this part of the world, not originally anyway.
We first met in the lobby while we checked in. He was standing behind me and I heard his deep, soothing voice. Its educated tone was not condescending, but more informative, like a hushed voice narrating a nature show on television. I imagined it speaking to children, explaining to them how wonderful they are, and that they should enjoy life to its fullest. His intonation was filled with subtle encouragement.
I felt his words would inspire those children to greatness, making them feel blessed that they were alive.
The mother in me loved that. The woman in me desired it.
After I checked in, I turned with the intention of seeing who this voice belonged to. When I did, for a brief moment, my heart stopped beating. I had turned too quickly and he was too close. I spun right into him and his welcoming arms. He held me for what seemed like an eternity. I embarrassingly looked up at him and apologized. He said no apology was needed.
We would later laugh about that moment. Richard told me he intentionally stood close to ensure he got to hold me once in his life. From any other man, that would have felt like a cheesy line. However, he was sincere and in his voice, I could tell that he too was lonely.
As I walked away, I questioned what I could have done, at that very moment, to have had that man sweep me off my feet. At the time, I did not know that he had lost his wife. I am uncertain if knowing he was widowed would have mattered. I was too shy. I would have never approached him with any expressed interest.
Yet, I yearned for companionship, even for just one night. I felt I was too young to die alone.
Some days, I wanted to be a dirty girl. I wanted to be someone who did not care about who she had sex with, but I could not be that person, because that person was not me. I had a real life. I am a nurse. I have children. I have a mortgage. I have bills. I have good days. I have bad days. I always had all those damn real life responsibilities.
However, I was also a woman who had been denied her basic sexual needs. It had been too long.
Later that day, Richard and I would coincidently meet again. He called my name from across the lobby. I did not remember sharing it with him, but it sounded so natural coming from his voice. It was like he had called me a million times before. He said his boys were going on a hike and wondered if mine would like to join them.
That was very considerate. I am not familiar with that kind of behavior. What a thoughtful man.
When I saw his boys with their handheld video games, I knew our boys would get along. They, of course, did. Richard must have known. Richard and I both knew their idea of a hike was to find a cozy place outside, one that still had WiFi access, so they could play video games.
As the four boys walked off together in search of their Nirvana, I stood nervous next to Richard, trembling and preparing for a flop sweat.
But at that moment, it felt like our boys’ quick disappearance suggested that their parents should spend some time together.
Did they subconsciously know something we did not? How could they?
Richard eased our awkward tension by suggesting that he and I go for the hike. I smiled knowing we would actually experience the beautiful outdoors with our own senses and not through those which were computer generated.
As we passed by our boys lying on the grass under the big, beautiful shade tree next to the hotel, we glanced at each other. We knew, as long as they had battery life and WiFi, we need not worry about them.
We both chose to vacation now because the rainy season was coming. Soon, we would be under the real threat of monsoon-type rainfall. Now, was the time for us to be here.
As we moved toward the trail by the lake, I could tell that we both appreciated being outside, breathing the fresh air, in the company of a familiar stranger. There was an inexplicable sense of comfort.
Yet, I felt like a teenager again. My heart pounded each time he looked at me or when we accidentally rubbed elbows. I searched for the right words, fearing the wrong one would send him running. He never did. He stayed, and we walked and talked and marveled at the beauty of the day and our surroundings.
As we walked, and as we talked, Richard’s fingers brushed against the back of hand, sending shivers up my arm and down my spine. I felt silly. I am a forty, ahem, year old woman and I am giddy because a boy touched me.
Come on, Lynette! Get a grip, lady!
Fingers lead to hands, and hands lead to holding, and holding leads to something else. However, this incidental touch was not a one-time occurrence.
The next time Richard’s fingers touch mine, they stopped and he placed his inside, against the fleshy part of mine. He waited patiently as our fingerprints softly rested against one another’s as if reading each other's code. He waited for me to move away my hand, but I did not. I curled my fingers around his and then held another man’s hand for the first time in over a decade.
I instantly knew that he would be just the second man I would share my bed with. Sure, I have had opportunities since my divorce, but I was insecure. I felt unworthy. I was scared. It was never right.
Would I be worthy enough for Richard?
I did not know if I could handle that type of rejection if I was not.
We continued walking, now quietly, hand-in-hand. I was unsure if he was waiting for me to speak first after the hand holding, or if he was afraid to. I really wanted him to talk first, but he chose to do something else.
Richard turned and stopped in front of me. His eyes sparkled and his warm smile calmed my nerves, even with his abrupt stop. I thought I would be more nervous kissing a man I had just met that morning, but when his lips touched mine, a disabling weight lifted from my shoulders.
We kept our first kiss simple. We were not teens anymore.
We took turns pressing our lips against the other's and then did the same when touching our tongues. When we heard voices approaching, Richard started walking again, but I did not. His body halted from the dead weight of mine and his look of surprise turned into understanding. He asked me if I was sure and I nodded I was, so we returned to our hotel.
I was anxious but I committed to my feelings. My stomach was filled with a thousand fluttering butterflies and I felt like vomiting. His sweaty palm told me he too was nervous.
Our pace quickened and the mugginess made us both begin to shine. As we approached the boys, we released our hand hold and told them to enjoy themselves. We strongly encouraged them to play as long as they wanted, and if they needed anything, to just charge it to one of our rooms. We tried our best to encourage them, as loving parents do, to remain outside, without actually telling them the reason why.
Your mother and father are going inside to have sex. It has been too long. We need this.
Do NOT interrupt us!
My room was the closest so, now holding hands again, we got on the elevator with several other unsuspecting patrons. I wrestled my grin and avoided eye contact.
Did they know that I did not know Richard's last name, or if Richard was even his first?
Did they know I was going back to mine and my children’s room, in the middle of the day, to have sex a strange man I had just met?
Oh God, does this make me a bad mother?
We casually exited the elevator, waited for the door to close, and then briskly walked to my room. I could not tell if it was the humidity or the anticipation, but my panties clung and were soaking wet. I was curious and wanted to look at Richard's groin to see if I could gauge his excitement, but I could not.
What would he think of me if he saw me do that?
Or, maybe that is what I am supposed to do?
Damn it! I don’t know!
We agreed to first take showers because our hike, although quite short, still created some extra perspiration. The increasing humidity also told us that the rains would soon come.
I insisted Richard shower first. I was worried but I did not tell him. I was getting cold feet. I was having second thoughts about doing this. I did not know this man.
Lynette, what the hell are you thinking?
You must stop this immediately before it goes too far!
Richard went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I sat on my bed and closed my eyes, rocking back and forth, while holding in the tears. I tried to calm myself by listening to the silence in my room. I began practicing what to say so as not to hurt him.
I’m so sorry, Richard. I just can’t.
I then imagined Richard’s naked body standing under the falling water. I imagined mine next to his, kissing him like we kissed on our hike. I felt my cheeks flush and my soul began to smile.
You want this, Lynette. Damn it! You need this, and you deserve it!
Get your ass in there!
Richard had left the bathroom door partially open, so I peered inside. His head was under the falling water and I could see his lean, naked body through the shower’s glass door. I watched his ass move as he shifted his weight. I swallowed and stepped forward, leaving most fears and insecurities in the bedroom behind me. I then pushed open wide the bathroom door.
I stood in the doorway hoping Richard would see me, but he remained facing the back wall. I knew what we were going to do so I convinced myself we should start now. I quickly removed my clothes and pushed my apprehensive body towards the shower door. I slowly reached for the handle.
Why was my hand shaking?
Richard turned then smiled when he felt the whoosh of fresh air from the opened shower door. He held out his hand as the two naked strangers now faced one another. Our eyes locked on each other’s but we did not speak. I placed my hand is his, and he gently pulled me inside. As he reached over and pulled the shower door closed, his neck brushed against my nose and mouth. I closed my eyes letting his stubble rub across my lips. I let go and kissed his neck, which led to his chin, and then his mouth.
The water bounced off the back of his head as we now kissed more passionately than we did outside. I placed my hand on his cheek while he placed his on mine. We seemed to mimic each other’s moves as if we both had forgotten what to do. When our mouths separated, we looked at each other again, but I now saw a wild animal in his eyes. It excited me. I hoped to him, my eyes expressed the same thing.
We are really going to do this!
We ARE really going to do this!
Richard's eyes dropped as he stepped back to look at my breasts. Ever the gentleman, he asked if he could touch them. A gentle smile and a subtle nod told him he could. Inside, I prayed that he would.
Yes, please, touch my body.
It had been so long since, in a romantic way, a man had touched my breasts. His hands were kind and my small breasts filled each one. I closed my eyes as Richard bent down and took one of my sensitive nipples in his mouth. I felt his tongue circling and then he gently trapped my hard nipple between his teeth. This caused me to uncomfortably moan.
Oh no. Was I too loud?
I hoped I was not too noisy for him. I did not know what he liked.
After a few moments, Richard lifted his head off of my breast and kissed me again. He moved to my other breast and did the same thing with his lips, tongue, and teeth. He made me moan again, but this time, I was much louder, but less self-conscious. I could not resist my release and thankfully, he did not abandon me because of it either.
I draped my arms over his broad shoulders as he continued to suck my nipples and kiss my breasts. I felt I should be doing something too, so I kissed his neck, the side of his face, and I nibbled on his ear lobe. When we brought our mouths together again, I let his hands slide down the sides of my body until they reached my hips. Even though the water was warm, his touch chilled me.
He was getting closer.
As we continued to kiss, I felt his hardness on my belly. It was hot, felt big, and it pushed against my skin. I wanted to reach for it but was still scared.
Richard's hands remained on my hips and our bodies remained close as the water now splashed onto both of us. I then got lost in the moment. It felt like I was about to make love to a handsome man, under a secret romantic waterfall, in some steamy, exotic jungle.
When Richard whispered in my ear that he wanted to go lower, it did not quite register what he was suggesting. I said yes, not knowing what yes approved. At that moment, I chose to trust him and would have done just about anything to make this happen. As he lowered onto his knees, and his mouth kissed my belly, I quickly remembered.
I parted my legs and moved my feet so my toes were in front of and against his knees. Once braced so that I would not slip, Richard pushed my back against the warm shower wall, giving him a better angle. I inhaled sharply when he kissed my inner thighs and then shuddered when his lips tugged on mine.
As his mouth explored between my legs, and his tongue played with my body, I held his head against my pelvis. I ran my fingers through his hair as he licked, and then pulled him in tight when he probed and penetrated.
My hips now moved, and they moved with anticipation and intent. As Richard continued his oral devotion, my insides tingled and I felt a dearly missed urge to be filled. My body ached for it. I ached for him.
It was time.
I pushed Richard’s head away from my body and he looked up with concern. I assured him there was no need for any. While he remained kneeling, I pushed his back against the other shower wall. For the first time, I saw his exposed erection which rose between his narrow hips.
His penis head was smooth and hard and stood up begging for my attention. It was thicker than I remember a penis being. The stretch required to accommodate it concerned me. From above, I could not tell how long it was, but it stood out from his body far enough to enter me as deep as I needed, maybe more.
Richard asked me if I wanted him to prepare me more before we did it, but I said no. I wanted to feel his penis inside me today, and not his or my fingers.
My body started shaking as it struck me what we were about to do. Neither of us has been with another person in years. However, I knew I could not have asked for a better partner.
I leaned forward and put my arms around Richard’s neck. He kissed me again, sucking my tongue as I positioned my body in front of his knelt one. I placed my feet on either side of his folded legs, with my calves resting against them. I then centered my body on his, so his penis was now waiting for my descent.
I was ready to lower myself, spread my thighs and straddle his, and take his aroused penis inside my body. I then jumped when I felt Richard’s finger tips. He was ensuring my wetness was where it was needed and that my folds were parted for entry. My body position protected his penis from the falling water, so he added some of me on him. Richard then cautiously asked, “Are you ready?”
I desperately whispered back that I was.
Embarrassingly, I jumped again when the tip of Richard's penis touched me. We both chuckled and that awkward moment seemed to relax both of us. He rubbed the smoothness of his head between my legs, along my perineum, across my opening to my clitoris, and back. The more he rubbed, the more my vagina ached and the wetter I felt I got. I could hear my inner voice pleading with him to put it in me.
After several passes, he placed the tip of his penis at my opening. We held our gaze as I felt the start of his shape open me and the heat of it transfer to my body. It was now my turn and surprisingly, I did not hesitate.
While holding his neck and shoulders for support, and with one of his hands under one of my cheeks, I slowly lower myself on his rigid penis. My body weight pried open my lonely and neglected entrance. The initial burn was easily overridden by the intense pleasure my delirious body was experiencing.
Richard's thick penis stretched me more than the one before him, but there was very little pain, and it was short lived. I was overjoyed by that because it was one of the things I feared, having not had intercourse for so many years.
I continued descending until my knees almost reached the tiled shower floor. Another man had finally entering my body and it felt good, really good, in fact. It had been, by anyone's standards, far too long a dry spell for either of us.
I concentrated on the last bit of internal stretch until my knees then reached the floor. Richard's penis was now completely inside me. My cheeks hurt more than my opening because I was grinning from ear to ear. As I rested on Richard's big cock, feeling how full I was of him, his pubic hair tickled my sensitive and engorged clitoris. I reached back to confirm that he had in fact completely disappeared. All I felt were two large testicles where our bodies connected.
I could not believe it!
He was completely inside me and it felt awesome!
As we started to move, I feared Richard would not last long. It had been many years for him too and my warmth and tightness could pose a problem. I also thought that this experience could be even more emotional for him, given that he had lost the one he loved to breast cancer. So, I concentrated on making myself cum as quickly as I could. I did not want him to feel bad if he came too soon. I did not want Richard to think he let me down. He needed to know that today, he picked me up, in both body and spirit. For that, I would be forever grateful.
What Richard did not know, is that I can cum quickly and repeatedly, if properly stimulated. This gentle giant of a man, whose wonderful penis I was gliding on, did a pretty good job stimulating me. He began in the lobby, continued with our first kiss on the hike, and then concluded with his fabulous oral work in the shower. He prepared me like an experienced man knows he should.
I was now ready to let go again.
My pelvic angle allowed my body to pleasurably rub against his. As I moved on him, resulting in me making noises we both most likely missed, I breathlessly shared what Richard had probably longed to hear.
“I’m going to cum. Oh God, Richard, I’m cumming!”
My legs tensed and my body trembled as my orgasm coursed through my body. I placed my head on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around the back of his neck, squeezing him tight, so he would not see my tears. They were tears of relief, tears of joy, and tears of celebration.
The sound of bouncing water most likely drowned out my sobs, and my sobbing body could easily be camouflaged by the massive orgasm I was experiencing.
Richard did not announce his orgasm as I had because he did not need to. I felt his body tense and heard his muted grunt. As his warm cum filled me, he too, today, washed away his past pain and sorrow. We embraced, as our bodies recovered, longer than expected after an intimate shower exchange like this.
When we finally looked at each other, Richard still had tears in his eyes. We again did not need words because we knew how important this was for both of us. We held each other in this position for some time, kissing, caressing, and smiling, and eventually, giggling.
All seemed good again in both of our worlds.
~ ~ ~
Our families agreed to go together for dinner and after that, the boys asked if they could watch a movie. My boys suggested Richard’s sons come to our room. Richard and I looked at each other, silently reveling in our good fortune. We left the boys alone because they knew where to reach us, if needed.
Before I closed Richard’s hotel room door, I placed on the door knob, the Do Not Disturb sign. We then heard the sudden pelting of rain strike the hotel room window, which reminded me of the immediacy of our afternoon.
I quickly removed my clothes, dropping them to the floor, before I turned to Richard. He was grinning, already naked, and waiting for me in his bed.
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with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.
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