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Confessions of a Two-Pump Chump

"When you can't cut the mustard, you just have to lick the jar."

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Author's Notes

"All characters over sixteen"

Well....the truth is the truth, and a guy just can't duck it. This is how Oldgirl and I have managed to satisfy each other all these years.

Oldgirl and I have been together since we were teenagers. We met in high school, had many mutual friends, came from the same neighborhood (sort of; she lived on the better side of Main St., and I lived on the other). Well, when I transferred into the school she was attending, I was immediately flabbergasted to find out that she wasn't seeing anyone. I could hardly believe it; she was HOT! What a body, and a classically beautiful face besides. She was (and still is) absolutely gorgeous, and to my great surprise, she didn't seem to realize it herself. I found out much later that she had previously been quite chubby, and she still saw herself that way, and never developed the conceited demeanor that many hot girls tend to fall into. She HAD however developed the greatest set of tits I've ever played with.

We shared one class a day, and I couldn't take my eyes of of her the whole period. And much more to my surprise, she didn't seem to mind the attention....let me be frank; I eye-fucked her for forty five minutes straight while the teacher droned on. Running the risk of embarrassing myself by getting shut down I finally caught her in the hall, and asked if by any chance she liked football, and wondered if she would like to go to a game with me. It may be hard to believe, but in 1966 a high-school kid with a part time job could scrape up enough money to occasionally take a girl to an NFL football game if you didn't mind sitting in the cheap(er) seats. As I was asking her, I could sort of tell that she was receptive, and sure enough, she told me she LOVED football (she didn't, I found out later), and would be delighted to go to the game with me. Arrangements were settled, I picked her up at her house on the next Sunday, got on the bus to the stadium, and couldn't believe my luck.

After hardly watching any of the action on the field due to being distracted by her, I got even luckier after I took her back home. You see her father had already headed up to bed, and her mother was VERY trusting of her good little Catholic daughter. Oldgirl and I made out on the back hall stairs for an hour, with her mother in the living room watching TV, and seemingly paying us no attention whatsoever. Well, after a few minutes of heavy duty french kissing, nibbling her earlobes, running my lips down her neck and pushing my very hard cock up against her, my hands crept slowly up under her sweater to squeeze and tease those fabulous tits. She was breathing so hard that I was worried her mother would hear us. One time Mom called to us and Oldgirl told her (quite breathlessly) that we were prompting each other for a quiz the next day. Well, we were prompting each other all right, but it had nothing to do with any fucking quiz. I teased and tested her for a reaction, and she did the same to me, as has been going on between teenagers for about fifty thousand years.

After several dates that ended this way, things really progressed quickly and steadily. It wasn't too long before I had my hand in her panties, rubbing that delectable wet and furry pussy, (girls didn't shave in those days) and she would thrash and heave against my fingers, burying her face in my neck so her moans were stifled when she came. And did she ever come! A gush saturated my hand every time, and she would collapse against me panting and shaking, as she caught her breath. Oh, and did I forget to mention that she loved cock? Well, it seemed like she couldn't wait to get her hand around it, and it didn't take more than a few strokes before I had to frantically dig my handkerchief out to catch the mess. This delighted her, knowing she could make me come so easily and (much to my chagrin) quickly. Usually, she barely touched it before I shot all over the fucking place. That, of course, made her horny all over again. You know the routine.

We realized before very long at all, that we deeply, deeply cared for each other, made each other happier than we could ever wish, and in each of our respective minds couldn't imagine being without one another. Consequently, the hand jobs progressed to blow jobs (which she seemed to like almost as much as me), and we knew that it was time for some real sex. Teenagers getting a motel or hotel room in those days wasn't really an option. I found that out the hard way one night when a desk clerk laughed in my face, and told me to come back in ten years or so. But luckily there was a very large university in our neighborhood, and the areas between buildings was dark with many trees for cover. I don't think a young couple could manage to fuck in a setting like that today, due to well-lit spaces, security officers all over, and just generally much more exposed and safer conditions. Lucky for us, they hadn't taken those measures in those days, and we had enough hidey-holes to get down to business.

That's when I learned I had a slight problem. We had progressed to full on fucking. That certainly wasn't the problem. The problem was I generally came almost immediately upon shoving my cock into her. Now, at the ripe old age of seventeen, just because I filled a condom didn't mean my cock got any softer at all. I could, and tried, to keep going. But she worried that the full condom would slip, and we'd be parents before we graduated. Not a crazy fear, but rather it was a sensible concern. I initially reassured her that a fresh condom would provide protection, but after the frenzy of the foreplay, the too-quick action of burying into her up to the cervix, the cramping of her legs from being over my shoulders, and the commotion of digging through my pockets, unwrapping another rubber, and rolling it on, she had kinda lost the edge. As many women and girls do, she said she had immensely enjoyed herself already, and had had enough for one night. I knew damn well that she was not really satisfied.

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We went on like this for quite a few months. Attending school, going out on dates, and fucking every chance we had. Finding places to get naked was the primary challenge. One night my folks went out and I knew they would be gone for a few hours at least; it would take them at least an hour to get where they were going, stay a while, and another hour home. Jackpot. I was determined this time to make her come on my cock, and I had the time and the plan to do so.

She surprised me a little by stripping down to her bra and panties with a big teasing smile on her face as soon as we entered the bedroom. She playfully wiggled her perfect ass and tits right in front of me, and asked if I liked what I saw, or something along those lines. My cock was so hard, I could barely get my clothes off, and I was so excited that I was at risk for coming as I was putting on the condom. But I had a PLAN!

We threw our arms around each other and fell to the bed in a flash. My mouth was on her neck, and my hand was behind her back unhooking her bra while my other hand slid into her panties. We were on a mission, and heating up fast. She started to lose her mind a little when I started stroking her clit, and that made her lift her hips off the bed in rhythm with my strokes. My mouth found her nipple, and it was hard as a rock and sticking out like the eraser on a pencil. Pretty soon she started making that sound deep in her throat that Frank Zappa famously called the 'Dynamo Hum'. It was time to work my plan. I intended to get her right to the very edge of her orgasm, when the shaking and convulsions were just starting, and then plunge right in to finish her off. I figured that that HAD to do it. Wrong again. On the last of my strokes, while I was pulling her panties all the way off, she came like a thunderstorm. It was a good thing that we were the only ones in the house, because she wailed like a Banshee and her pussy gushed all over the bed, my hand, and her panties (that I hadn't gotten all the way off).

She told me to hurry up and put it in, and I certainly obliged, completely forgetting any kind of 'plan' that I had, and more importantly, foregoing the condom. I just couldn't wait. I figured that I would pull out before I came and we'd be OK. And that's what I did; I felt my balls boiling instantly upon penetration, pulled out, and shot all over her belly and tits.

Now by this time, we were eighteen, had graduated, been seeing each other for about a year, each still living at home, and making plans for a future life together. I probably don't have to tell you why I mention this. Yep, about six or seven weeks later, she told me she thought we had a problem. The doctor confirmed it, and we found ourselves moving our agenda up a couple of years.

I still hadn't made her come on my cock. Now, you may ask yourself why it mattered to me so much. I don't have an answer to that, but it just did. So naturally, I was bound and determined to make it happen on our wedding night.

This may be the reason that I find pregnant women so sexy....she was about four or five months along when we got married, and the setting of our wedding night was inauspicious to say the least, but I was determined to make her come on my cock that night. Pure tenderness, long, long foreplay, and a little buzz from the reception allowed me to get her entirely relaxed, and then heated up, in succession. Her older sister had gifted her a lacy, sexy peignoir for the wedding night that slipped off after a while, and I tantalizingly made my way down her neck, further to her tits, with their rock hard nipples, and on down to her slightly swollen belly. All this time I was stroking her furry pussy while she groaned and moaned with my cock in her hand.

When she realized where I was headed, she stopped me and asked me what I thought I was doing. You see, good Catholic girls didn't get their pussies licked in the sixties, at least according to everything she had ever been taught. It took some persuasion on my part, some hormonal impulses on her part, and slowly but surely, I made my way South to plant some delicate kisses on the 'Man in the Boat'. With a few nuzzles, and butterfly kisses, she opened up to get that first firm lick from her perineum up to her clit. That was all it took. She was hooked, and a few more firm but gentle licks, along with a couple fingers up her pussy, and she was bouncing up and down in delirium for a few minutes until she exploded like a water balloon against a brick wall. With that, I slid up and stuck my cock into her pussy and kept her orgasm going until I came myself (after all of two or three pumps).

So finally, I felt that for the first time, she was as satisfied as I was. That was, let's see...this is 2025 so that was fifty seven years ago. We've been fucking, working, raising kids, coaching sports, visiting grand kids all this time. At my age, I'm not a Two-Pump Chump any more..in fact it takes quite a while for me to come, but just last night she was howling like a coyote, and even though we live out in the country now, I wondered if our nearest neighbors heard her. The fact is she still doesn't come on my cock very often; it's only happened a few times in all these years. But a little judiciously applied affection, with attention to her likes and dislikes gets the job done, even by a former Two-Pump Chump.

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Written by oldguy107
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