Neither of us spoke at first; I was too stunned, and she too ashamed. Finally, I asked in a raspy voice, “Why?” Her gaze remained steadfastly away from mine. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Luke. I… He was dying. And I was so… the depression, it was crushing me. I couldn’t be home with Julie. I couldn’t be home with you. And every time I was there, I felt… disconnected. I felt guilty for not being home, and then when I was home...

Hypocrite. That word is embedded in my fading moments. Until now, I'd rejected the notion of a God or anything existing beyond our mortal plane - That the life we're born into is the only one we'll ever know, and once it's over, that's it. Game over. Non-existence for the rest of eternity. Our time isn't guaranteed, and there's no room for second chances, reincarnation, ghosts or spirits, so we must ensure that every seco...

This brings me back,takes me on a journey in the deep recesses of my mindto a time I remember well.And although it tastes the same(like winter)like hot chocolate on a crisp, dark night,feels like the sharp wind whipping at my skin,I wear the scars it leaves differently now.Cold bitter frost gathers on my tonguebut I'm quick to melt them in my pyre.I had almost forgotten how you felt like ice to me(and yet somehow you alwa...

I am tryingbut three days in a carmake my progress seem very farThankfully the seahas come to my rescue again.Salt air and endless ocean views are friendsPatience you continue to showmile after mile day after dayEventually helping me find my wayI question again and againWhy am I so different, so bentMaybe that's why you were sentWhen others around me laughand enjoy good timesMy brain chemistry makes me hideYet you are alw...

Waking at three in the morning, my eyesDamp for some reason, I lie silent in the darkListening for the familiar fall and riseOf your soft breathing; but only the stark Emptiness of absence surrounds my frailVacuum. My heartbeat throbs like your cockUsed to, while I can only weep with hatred at my staleDesire. My brain screams at me, begging me to mock My ridiculous longing, my hopeless dreamsOf belonging. But my heart scr...

my soul to use any wordspirals around and I crybacked into a cornerit just wants to flyit loves and hateslonging for spaceto live in peace notrun in circles and raceenvying others liveswatching them spinhappy and contentwhy is my skin so thina recipe for happinessdoes it even exist herethe entirety of my lifesearching drowning in fearno more doctors nor pillsa formula not found that roadhurting myself same old patternsear...

I will never understand or heedthe voices bouncing aroundand ricochetting trying to leadDamaged connections and tissuewarp any sense I ever have of meSelf-worth not the only issueFighting with myself at nightWanting all and nothingI can never find the lightValue others see in mePerhaps they are blindAnd cannot clearly seeI've just been castIn a life I never choseEach time not the lastLove surrounds me but noI eschew and p...

  The dream had returned--so had the eyes. They hovered in an angry sky just above the horizon, seeing everything but focusing on nothing.Amy knew those eyes—knew a time when they’d been filled with happiness and a love of life. But that had been before her brother came back from Vietnam.Young, naked, and skinny, she stood alone and vulnerable on a hill surrounded by flames where everything kept changing.A gray-haired man...

You should be able to seeWhen I am struggling to beCold winds howl and shakeIt's harder now for me to wakeThis year you've turned blindLeaving me to flounder in my mindYears past you've held my handDon't leave me alone in this wastelandBack and forth, up an down, good and badI can't have taken all that you hadReach for me before I fall into the abyssI'll try to catch your hand, pray I don't missJust another winter, for us...

I feel that happiness is perhaps not meant for meContented, stable, smiling, satisfied, maybe thoseIts meaning lost, I search but still can not seeLost in my reverie, to decide and define or to loseHappiness, sold to us, bought both lock and keyTouching, tangible, its price marked down each dayFork over my heart to its tag or forget and be freeAnswers I seek in friends, family, anyone who comes my wayAsking again, who hol...

The dark shadows of my mind, They threaten to consume, They sometimes feed on the weak and they feed on the weary, But they mostly just feed on me. I feel confined, trapped, filled with disillusion,It seems that every where I turn the same face is staring back at me,Haunted eyes and blood shot lies, Etched upon that face, is it a smile or is it a grimace? The serpent caresses my soul and eats away at my heart with each an...

My mind has untied the ropes mooring me to reality.AgainPinging from light to light, finding universes and galaxiesof new ideas forming.AgainTossing about like a ship, swimming, dodging waves. A web of threads and rope pulling me along.AgainLaughing and cursing, I try it all. For now I have no need of sleep.I'm busy, my mind spinning so many plots and plans.AgainJourneying through time, I travel to places I never knew exi...