You will be my downfall, I know that. It will be you that will make me lose everything that I have. My life, my family, my kids. You will cause havoc in my life, and yet…

I remember that time when you told me to meet you at the lakeside car park. You watched me through binoculars as I struggled to search for your car in the cold. I was freezing.

The phone call was a surprise. I thought you were calling to let me know that you couldn’t make it. But all I heard was your voice telling me to face the lake and open my coat. I looked around, desperate to catch sight of you but you seemed to be a phantom of my imagination.

I did as I was told. You knew I would.

I faced the lake and reluctantly undid the buttons of my coat. I was curiously aware of my surroundings. The people walking their dogs, the families close by, the children playing at the water’s edge that were no more than a few metres away. Yet I opened my coat, despite the nearby onslaught of camera equipment in the guise of mobile phones.

The phone rang again and your words ‘fully – hold it open,’ frightened me. I was scared of the things you made me do. But I opened my coat fully and held it open; biting my lip with dread as to what I would do if anyone challenged me. I held the phone tightly in my hand in case it rang again. I prayed that no one would recognise me, approach me or scold me.

I stood there, shivering. My outstretched arms shook with the cold and the exposure. The hat you told me to wear was all that was preventing me from reacting to the people in my peripheral vision.

Another call. I remember pulling my hand towards my ear in an attempt to keep my coat open. This time a smile crept from my lips when I heard your words. ‘Good Girl. Stay there like that until I arrive.’

I felt as if everybody’s eyes were focused on me and yet I smiled. I know I pleased you. I could tell by the tone of your voice that you were proud of me. I couldn’t help but bite my lip with relief. I stayed focused, looking out from the lakeside as I waited for you.

My exposed breasts ached for your touch and were constantly bombarded by feathers of ice-cold air. My nipples were erect and puckered; constantly changing their shape in response to the needles of ice. My white under-wired basque was no match for the warmth of your hands and my skin-toned stockings were about the only item of clothing that was providing any warmth for my exposed body.

Any moistness leaking from my pussy solidified quickly on my pubic hair. And yet, leak I did, in anticipation more than anything else.

From behind me, I hear the crunch of footsteps on the loose gravel. I felt scared. Was it you?

Another call. I pulled the phone close to my ear and listened intently. Nothing. Just the noise of whistling air currents and heavy breathing. Talk to me, please, I implored you. Let me know what I should do? How I should behave?

Then I heard your words. ‘Stay there, don’t move,’ and almost as an afterthought, ‘Your beautiful, I love you when you do as I say.’

The next I know, you are standing in front of me unbuttoning your coat; stepping into the open space between my open arms. You opened your coat wide and to outsiders, we must have looked like a reflection in some virtual mirror.

I wanted to do so many things to you at that precise moment. I wanted to kiss you, touch and caress you, hug you. I wanted to devour you whole. I wanted to drop to my knees and worship you.

Butterflies, and not for the first time, attacked my insides trying to escape through my navel, the closer you got to me. I knew, long before then, that I needed someone like you in my life. Sexually, I was empty without you, and with you, I always seemed to be in a state of arousal without you to direct my filthy mind. At forty-five years of age, I shouldn’t have felt like that, but I did.

I remember you inched closer to me until our bodies touched, sending shivers down my spine. My nipples instantly warmed as your hand cupped the fullness of my breasts and all I could see was your beauty. Your enigmatic charm. Your eroticism. The fire in your eyes.

Then I felt your lust, your dirty filthy mind was suddenly exposed to me. I instantly knew who you were and there’s no difference between us despite your tender age. I sighed when your finger slipped into my waiting cunt. Our naked breasts squashed together as your luscious tongue searched for mine in a maelstrom of passion.

I lowered my arms to wrap them around your lovely body. I no longer cared what passers-by may have thought. I wouldn’t have cared if my husband or my kids turned up at that lakeside park. I wanted you and I wanted you to take me. I remember pushing my bottom towards your searching fingers and my hand pulled at your waist to bring you closer to me.

I was poised on the brink of orgasm and by the time your tongue pushed its way down my throat, I erupted in a tumultuous crescendo. I clung tightly to you, a desperate attempt to stay on my feet.

Another perplexing call. I briefly looked at the display in my hand that was wrapped tightly in your hair and I let Carl’s attempt at conversation hit the floor. Unanswered, unwanted and unneeded.

You will be my downfall, I know that.