I have a simple request.. the only place I can find out what mods are online is IN a chat room ... possible to add a [mods online] button in with the search tab?
Cowgirl .. though some may make a joke here n there ...nobody has tried to turn your question into an invalid one.
First I must agree this is not a 'man' thing, and doesn't apply to all of either sexes. It is a 'some people' thing.
I myself think total honesty is a good thing. In your case it seems you shared a fantasy that most guys would love to hear, he may simply feel threatened and think he isn't enough for you, which is just the way he chooses to view it possibly. As a man with a bisexual female partner, I can attest that some men feel threatened by the thought they aren't enough for their woman. I don't feel that way, I understand she has needs I can't meet because I'm not equipped to meet them, but I can however accept her needs and insure they are met in a way safe to our relationship, and without either of us feeling guilty or hurt afterwards. It all comes down to a very deep level of communication in which guidelines are set beforehand that we are both comfortable with.
Fantasies for many people are just that, they choose to never act on them. My questions at this point would lead to more specifics: Did you merely inform him this is a fantasy you have? or.. Did you tell him you'd like to actually experiment with your fantasy either solo or include him in it? If he has a strong morality problem with same sex relationships, did you know about this before he asked? Does he have the double standard of watching girl on girl porn and then turning around and claiming it's morally incorrect?
My best advice at this point would be... If he isn't willing or able to accept you for who you are and what you need from life and relationships, then he wasn't right for you to begin with.
I agree with nearly all that was said here, but, I need to point out that IMO the time for standing in a corner should be *before* any physical punishment. I feel that the time for thinking about the mistake made is before any actual physical punishment, just as the explanation of why punishment is deserved/needed. Afterwards I generally give my slave a minute or two to gather her composure, then aftercare and reassurance begins. To me, the thought of leaving her standing in the corner (or even alone) after punishment has been administered is bordering on mental cruelty as this is the time when she needs comfort from her Master more than ever.
I've run into very few that didn't like me from the beginning. I don't suck up at all..I say things as I see em. The ones I initially had problems with eventually accepted me partly because: A) I would actually have intelligent conversations with them B) they eventually figured out the more they hated me, the wilder it would make their daughter fight back (which was a bonus in my favor). Quite often I would even point this out to them.
I was the quintessential 'bad boy' growing up yet still found that parents generally found my honest straight-forward approach refreshing somehow. I guess once they came to realize I wasn't intimidated by them (even one cop and a preacher), they would also see that I would stand up for their daughter in the same manner. Of course this only pertained to 'relationships', the ones I just had fun with once or twice and passed along were a different story completely. lol
prefer shorter... from 4'10 - 5'7
good work... was gonna suggest you try wakin him up with a blo to see if it was a mental thing. Still sounds like there may be many possibilities...stress that he can't get out of his head is usually a boner killer, whether it be from work or performance anxiety. From your solution it seems to be stress of some sort, yet constricted blood flow would be aided by alcohol as well.
We are beating the 'bushes' to uncover it.. searching every cave to find a morsel of it ..as men we like to take a hands on approach to such matters ...some of us may need to chew it over for a bit, but in the end.. we WILL make sure this quite delicate subject is stimulated and find a way to lick it.
Not saying it would never happen.. but the mere thought of it takes me to the bathroom scene in 'Me, Myself & Irene' ..though that scene nearly makes me piss myself laughing..I don't think I'd enjoy it. Though.. with an open mind, I must say until I try something I can't knock it.
Same reply I always give to this question..
Me - as with everyone, this is the only word to fit. We are all too complex for any other single word to describe us.
I personally think you should be able to make such a request. I'm guessing you mean something like one of his shirts of his to wear around the house or something. If you meant for him to send you a collar to wear I personally wouldn't. I've always felt that a collar should be placed by the Master's own hands.
I'm quite sure that most Masters would love such a request as it shows you truly wish to feel closer to him.
I think it's a little odd that the OP didn't even answer their own question or give some kind of oversight as to their idea of BDSM "styles"
I'm honestly wondering why anyone answered at all LOL... yet I couldn't resist an urge to answer it as broadly as it was asked...
I like My style of BDSM
I knew what I was gonna see in that video before I clicked on it... la kajira was a dead giveaway of the gorean mindset ...I've mentioned My dislike of their beliefs in another post on here somewhere.
They treat slaves like cattle or prostitutes for all their friends to use, and I will never be able to agree with that type mentality.
My bed has a strict "no clothing" policy, the only exceptions being: "that time of month" - panties (for her not me :P), and on especially cold nights - socks
Plenty of time for her to wear lingerie between supper and bedtime, and seeing her walking around in it is much more seductive than just lying in bed dressed that way.
My point is that you are adding things you implied yourself and saying that is what I meant. You obviously haven't grasped yet what I intended and continue harping on something I never said or implied to begin with. ...but ....have fun
didn't ask you to "buy" anything Dani ....just quit twisting what's said to fit how you chose to understand it
I still feel this topic is equal to discussing the subtle difference between "My car is yellow." and "I have a yellow car."
One cannot attempt to be safe unless aware that there is risk involved, and takes precautions to reduce said risks.
...as stressed by many others...consent, consent, consent
Choose either principle and implement it into your lifestyle.
I have avoided this topic for a couple days as it was becoming a battle instead of discussion. I stepped back allowing us all to cool off, reorganized my thoughts and now offer this:
In no way have I suggested that upon meeting someone with this behavior, that someone should step in and force that person to change..yes, at that point, move on if you don't like it.
In a committed relationship however, sometimes things can distract any of us allowing unnatural behavior to appear. It may be a Dom/me with too much on their mind from work, leaving their submissive feeling unwanted/unneeded - simply craving attention of any kind. Could be a submissive with family problems, having trouble trying to deal with things and acting out to get some relief from stress.
If My slave suddenly started drinking to excess, it would be a similar situation. A need to find the root of the problem and try to fix it is only natural. Just because at that point she is drinking that way, doesn't mean it's a constant need or that she even enjoys it, it means she's using it to deal with something else. In such situations it's better to deal with it than kick her to the curb just because of a problem, it would be cold and callous to discard her in her time of need.
Thanks MistressS for seeing my point... and the first 2 suggestions for solving this problem, talking is exactly what I suggested. The 3rd is a way of reinforcing the talk by showing them that in times like that, you aren't willing to give them what they want (physical punishment) as a reward for bad behavior.
Seems too many people pick out 1 word and focus on it...such as "break" .. solving a problem is breaking it. Seldom have I heard "dealing with", "changing", "fixing" or "solving" a bad habit. Being one familiar with breaking horses..I understand the difference. The difference being - I'm not going out searching for a free-willed SAM to drag back to My corral, saddle, whip and ride into submission, effectively breaking their will to be independent. I'm helping to solve a problem presented by the one who has submitted to Me freely and completely, and who trusts that I will step up and take the reigns when problems arise (whether hers or Mine), to not do so would be a break of her trust.
{(edit) For those familiar with breaking horses... my approach there is unconventional..always choosing a gentler more humane method. Seldom using a crop, never using spurs, and always using a hackamore bit over those which can hurt or cause damage.}
... I had asked a few people and nobody knew about that
