People are difficult. There, I said it. It seems to me that sometimes because you're kinky, you tend to be the elephant in the room. Not because you have scene attire for shock or because you talk loudly for everyone to hear you.
I know that kink or whatever you want to call it is not for everyone. Thus, it is very private in my life. I feel like people who may be involved in kink successfully, Wether conservative or not, get picked on. In general I believe that people are a lot more open minded regardless of who, how and what that means to an individual. Or at least that's what people are told to do by the general public.
I am frustrated,...to be honest. I don't wear the word kink on my forehead. I am my own person...and for reasons unknown and considering I don't parade around in my in my life decisions and goals. I am picked and prodded. I am liberal, but I don't act like it. So why must people in general want to know of my private life? And then act like they don't care but secretly have formed they're own opinions on whatever you're discussing even though they either know or don't know and it is totally irrelevant to your own identity as an individual who is very quiet about it?
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Active Ink Slinger
Title: Being Amorous
So, here's the thing about love...at least the way I love.
I love **unconditionally...** literally.
It doesn't mean I am unsafe with my love. It just means the people I choose to have some form of relationship with, are honest and trustworthy about the intent of the type of relationship we've negotiated. It doesn't mean that once we've negotiated what type of relationship is suitable for the both of us...never changes.
**People are always changing,** always evolving and the way that they tend to love changes as well. I am one, that is okay with it...because **I change too.**
If you want to be free and fly away, go ahead. I will not stop you. I will still love you, but the time we have shared together has ended for you. All the yummy soaked up ravishment I was able to give you, you do not need anymore and I am 100% okay with that. You know why? Because in some way at one time my love and what you were searching for...I was able to give you.
You could say I am addicted to intimacy. To sharing those really vulnerable moments with someone and reveling in the feeling of safe spaces.
For a long time I have struggled to identify with relationship pathways because I didn't fit. I am a very square peg trying to fit in a very round hole. It just isn't going to happen, so I am going to make a really comfy blanket fort and hopefully the right people will want to join my club.
I love differently then most because love comes in many different ways.
I could love you passionately...with a fire in my belly to devour you and sate both of our needs.
I could love gently, where all your worries fade away into kisses and hidden touches.
I could love you and never have to sleep with you, but my love would be just as fierce and loyal.
I could love you in a way, where I just want all your dreams and happiness to come true because you deserve it!
I could love you and feel compelled to protect you from all your demons until you realize how utterly, truly amazing you are...
Or I could love you and we could just be quiet together, not needing to say a word and knowing that whenever you need someone to sit with, I'll be there.
My point is, there are a **million ways to love someone** and meet each others needs. If I love you, I want to do my best not only to meet my own needs, but yours as well.
As wonderful as this all sounds some people are just not as honest as they think they were in the beginning and it sucks for everyone involved. Now, in my own perfect little world we would all be free to feel safe and be able to love without fear. But, life is a whole lot more complicated then that. With having a heart that only expands and doesn't close up...I have learned to be careful with my love. Not everybody wants a piece of my pie and it has taken a long time to figure that out. I thought everybody liked pie, I thought I had so many flavors that I could satisfy everybody and put them into a blissful food coma till the end of days...
Turns out people are not always honest in what they want, whether it is the beginning of taking that first bite, or they're slice of pie is almost finished and they realized they ate to much. **The intent of the relationship with someone is just as important** then anything else. It is the fork to the pie...
If your **intent changes,** that's ok...just let me know and if we need to renegotiate on how I can love you and how you can love me... that's okay, as long as I am **kept in the know.**
For me, since my love is all consuming, it doesn't matter what my partner chooses in a relationship pathway. If they wanted to take it in a poly way, we could do that. If they wanted to take it in a open relationship type way, we could also do that. It doesn't matter as long as we **communicate on a constant basis.**
How am I going to know what you need if you don't tell me? How are you going to know what I need if I don't tell you? We don't. Neither of us are mind readers and contrary to popular belief that's actually healthy.
I rather talk to you or be able to come and talk to you rather then guessing and getting myself in trouble. Why get into a fight where feelings get hurt because no one talks to each other? It doesn't make sense right? But, people do it all the time to each other.
I know that talking about communication is the last thing that anyone wants to read because so many people in bdsm have already shoved it down your throats as far as it could go!!! Believe me, there is a reason for that! If you want your journey in bdsm to be a healthy one, then communicate with every single partner or potential partner you may come across!
It saves so much ridiculous amounts of heart ache.
I have never been the jealous type. I think jealousy, stems from not being honest about your own wants in a relationship on both parts.
The one who is getting cheated on, has not voiced their opinion on what is okay in the relationship and what isn't in the relationship to make them feel safe.
The one who is cheating has not voiced there needs on how they would like to be treated as well.
Its mis-communication at its worst.
If I am not giving my lovers what they need, they will find it elsewhere. If they want to be with someone else, they will be. If they still want to be with me and add another, I am ok with that. All it means, is that we just have to renegotiate what our relationship means to each other when something changes.
For me, **being in love with someone does not mean I need to have sex with them.** Nor, do they have to have sex with me. I still love them, I still want to spend time with them and I will still treat them in whatever way they want to be treated in the type of relationship we may have. **It doesn't mean my love is less.** It just means that even if the desire is there, I respect my partner and can love them in a million different ways then just a purely a sexual way. My needs will still be met...because I know in there own way they still love me and that is still valid. in my heart of hearts, I am still safe in that relationship. Our moments don't have any less value just because sex isn't involved. Intimacy in our relationship has just taken a different form that is still cherished just as much as physical contact.
In saying all that, it doesn't mean I am on the constant look out for new partners. It just means for me, if love comes my way and I am in a place to accept it, it wont necessarily be ignored.
Love comes in many forms as well. so it doesn't matter to me what gender you identify with or what orientation you feel bests suites you.
**I fall in love with the soul, the mind and the heart. Not the thing that's carrying it all around.**
All people want to do is **feel loved and be loved in return.** I try my best to live that out daily. Just as much as I love...loving people. I want to be loved too, with honesty about the intent , trust in intimacy, respect for each other and constant communication. I want my love to be cherished and honored just as much as everyone else and I try my best with the people I hold dear to my heart and expect the same in return...
So, lets try to make this a little easier, ok?
So, here's the thing about love...at least the way I love.
I love **unconditionally...** literally.
It doesn't mean I am unsafe with my love. It just means the people I choose to have some form of relationship with, are honest and trustworthy about the intent of the type of relationship we've negotiated. It doesn't mean that once we've negotiated what type of relationship is suitable for the both of us...never changes.
**People are always changing,** always evolving and the way that they tend to love changes as well. I am one, that is okay with it...because **I change too.**
If you want to be free and fly away, go ahead. I will not stop you. I will still love you, but the time we have shared together has ended for you. All the yummy soaked up ravishment I was able to give you, you do not need anymore and I am 100% okay with that. You know why? Because in some way at one time my love and what you were searching for...I was able to give you.
You could say I am addicted to intimacy. To sharing those really vulnerable moments with someone and reveling in the feeling of safe spaces.
For a long time I have struggled to identify with relationship pathways because I didn't fit. I am a very square peg trying to fit in a very round hole. It just isn't going to happen, so I am going to make a really comfy blanket fort and hopefully the right people will want to join my club.
I love differently then most because love comes in many different ways.
I could love you passionately...with a fire in my belly to devour you and sate both of our needs.
I could love gently, where all your worries fade away into kisses and hidden touches.
I could love you and never have to sleep with you, but my love would be just as fierce and loyal.
I could love you in a way, where I just want all your dreams and happiness to come true because you deserve it!
I could love you and feel compelled to protect you from all your demons until you realize how utterly, truly amazing you are...
Or I could love you and we could just be quiet together, not needing to say a word and knowing that whenever you need someone to sit with, I'll be there.
My point is, there are a **million ways to love someone** and meet each others needs. If I love you, I want to do my best not only to meet my own needs, but yours as well.
As wonderful as this all sounds some people are just not as honest as they think they were in the beginning and it sucks for everyone involved. Now, in my own perfect little world we would all be free to feel safe and be able to love without fear. But, life is a whole lot more complicated then that. With having a heart that only expands and doesn't close up...I have learned to be careful with my love. Not everybody wants a piece of my pie and it has taken a long time to figure that out. I thought everybody liked pie, I thought I had so many flavors that I could satisfy everybody and put them into a blissful food coma till the end of days...
Turns out people are not always honest in what they want, whether it is the beginning of taking that first bite, or they're slice of pie is almost finished and they realized they ate to much. **The intent of the relationship with someone is just as important** then anything else. It is the fork to the pie...
If your **intent changes,** that's ok...just let me know and if we need to renegotiate on how I can love you and how you can love me... that's okay, as long as I am **kept in the know.**
For me, since my love is all consuming, it doesn't matter what my partner chooses in a relationship pathway. If they wanted to take it in a poly way, we could do that. If they wanted to take it in a open relationship type way, we could also do that. It doesn't matter as long as we **communicate on a constant basis.**
How am I going to know what you need if you don't tell me? How are you going to know what I need if I don't tell you? We don't. Neither of us are mind readers and contrary to popular belief that's actually healthy.
I rather talk to you or be able to come and talk to you rather then guessing and getting myself in trouble. Why get into a fight where feelings get hurt because no one talks to each other? It doesn't make sense right? But, people do it all the time to each other.
I know that talking about communication is the last thing that anyone wants to read because so many people in bdsm have already shoved it down your throats as far as it could go!!! Believe me, there is a reason for that! If you want your journey in bdsm to be a healthy one, then communicate with every single partner or potential partner you may come across!
It saves so much ridiculous amounts of heart ache.
I have never been the jealous type. I think jealousy, stems from not being honest about your own wants in a relationship on both parts.
The one who is getting cheated on, has not voiced their opinion on what is okay in the relationship and what isn't in the relationship to make them feel safe.
The one who is cheating has not voiced there needs on how they would like to be treated as well.
Its mis-communication at its worst.
If I am not giving my lovers what they need, they will find it elsewhere. If they want to be with someone else, they will be. If they still want to be with me and add another, I am ok with that. All it means, is that we just have to renegotiate what our relationship means to each other when something changes.
For me, **being in love with someone does not mean I need to have sex with them.** Nor, do they have to have sex with me. I still love them, I still want to spend time with them and I will still treat them in whatever way they want to be treated in the type of relationship we may have. **It doesn't mean my love is less.** It just means that even if the desire is there, I respect my partner and can love them in a million different ways then just a purely a sexual way. My needs will still be met...because I know in there own way they still love me and that is still valid. in my heart of hearts, I am still safe in that relationship. Our moments don't have any less value just because sex isn't involved. Intimacy in our relationship has just taken a different form that is still cherished just as much as physical contact.
In saying all that, it doesn't mean I am on the constant look out for new partners. It just means for me, if love comes my way and I am in a place to accept it, it wont necessarily be ignored.
Love comes in many forms as well. so it doesn't matter to me what gender you identify with or what orientation you feel bests suites you.
**I fall in love with the soul, the mind and the heart. Not the thing that's carrying it all around.**
All people want to do is **feel loved and be loved in return.** I try my best to live that out daily. Just as much as I love...loving people. I want to be loved too, with honesty about the intent , trust in intimacy, respect for each other and constant communication. I want my love to be cherished and honored just as much as everyone else and I try my best with the people I hold dear to my heart and expect the same in return...
So, lets try to make this a little easier, ok?
Active Ink Slinger
Oh, that's a hard one! I'm really into fire play and fire cupping as well as body worship/cock worship...I'm a babygirl, but I don't consider that a fetish. Also, I'm a huge masochist...Lately wooden implements seem to be a favorite of mine to get hit with. Also, breast slapping is such a turn on as well! oh and candle wax! Now that is fun!
Active Ink Slinger
I was just curious to see if there were any other kinksters who delve into this fetish. I would love to hear experiences that you have had past or present. If you find it ritualistic at all or if there is a sense of spiritual fulfillment in it for you...
I'll start
Worship makes my mind still, it's pretty much the only thing that continuously makes me tranquil. I can get lost in my Sir's body. It is something( once I am fully at ease with the repetition of what I'm doing) I can completely submit too without hesitation. It is a very deep part of my submission because it symbols my depth and devotion to my partner. It resumbles deep trust and vulnerability to be that open to him. Body worship( more so cock worship) soothes me. It is a time for me to show my love how much I appreciate him in all ways. I let go when I worship, I can get fully consumed in him by worshipping his body that he has to pull me out of it...as strictly and firmly as possible. It would be safe to say that I have an addiction to my partners body...even though I do recognize the fact that their is a time and place for everything.
For me it's the stolen moments of a kiss, the lingering touches....
Um, this is really hard to explain...for me...
I would say it continues to get more ritualistic as time passes and I could say that there is a spirituality in it. I could definitely say that there is a fulfillment like that for me, through body worship.
I can't say I have fantasies about it because, it's a way in which I love, it's a part of how I love someone just as much as pain is.
Anyways, I'll start rambling soon and eventually make no since so I'm going to stop...I've never really talked about body worship before and what it means to me...so, I hope it made since...
I'll start
Worship makes my mind still, it's pretty much the only thing that continuously makes me tranquil. I can get lost in my Sir's body. It is something( once I am fully at ease with the repetition of what I'm doing) I can completely submit too without hesitation. It is a very deep part of my submission because it symbols my depth and devotion to my partner. It resumbles deep trust and vulnerability to be that open to him. Body worship( more so cock worship) soothes me. It is a time for me to show my love how much I appreciate him in all ways. I let go when I worship, I can get fully consumed in him by worshipping his body that he has to pull me out of it...as strictly and firmly as possible. It would be safe to say that I have an addiction to my partners body...even though I do recognize the fact that their is a time and place for everything.
For me it's the stolen moments of a kiss, the lingering touches....
Um, this is really hard to explain...for me...
I would say it continues to get more ritualistic as time passes and I could say that there is a spirituality in it. I could definitely say that there is a fulfillment like that for me, through body worship.
I can't say I have fantasies about it because, it's a way in which I love, it's a part of how I love someone just as much as pain is.
Anyways, I'll start rambling soon and eventually make no since so I'm going to stop...I've never really talked about body worship before and what it means to me...so, I hope it made since...
Active Ink Slinger
I think it's "expected' because of the site that lush is. For me though, even with a warning clearly stating why I am here and what I do not want. It doesn't matter to people who just want to "get off". They will eventually get what they are coming for...as the saying goes...be careful what you wish for...
Anyways, it's just a quick delete
and a block if they keep bothering me:)
Anyways, it's just a quick delete
and a block if they keep bothering me:)
Active Ink Slinger
Where do you think sensuality comes from? Do you think we are born with it? Or is it a learned behavior? I know that I am a sensual being, but I have no idea where it comes from. When can you call something sensual? How do you recognize the difference between sexuality and sensuality? or lust and sensuality, is it linked when it comes to being open and accepting of yourself etc...? What would you consider a sensual act?
I hope I can inspire discussion on such a broad subject and would love to know your thoughts
I hope I can inspire discussion on such a broad subject and would love to know your thoughts
Active Ink Slinger
Older men are wonderful or at least with my honey, he's 26 years older than I am and it's been wonderful. I don't think it has to really do with age, I think it's the maturity level of the two peoples involved. I wouldn't say they are better or not. You'll find emotional douchebags anywhere. It's hard to find honesty and the actual intent involved, and yes it can be a little bit scary with older men, since they have more experience in life then someone younger would. More experience is not a bad thing, it's a learning opportunity and just because your younger doesn't mean you have nothing to offer. I didn't seek out an older man, neither did he( someone younger) we found each other by chance and fell inlove.
or at least with my honey, he's 26 years older than I am and it's been wonderful. I don't think it has to really do with age, I think it's the maturity level of the two peoples involved. I wouldn't say they are better or not. You'll find emotional douchebags anywhere. It's hard to find honesty and the actual intent involved, and yes it can be a little bit scary with older men, since they have more experience in life then someone younger would. More experience is not a bad thing, it's a learning opportunity and just because your younger doesn't mean you have nothing to offer. I didn't seek out an older man, neither did he( someone younger) we found each other by chance and fell inlove.
Active Ink Slinger
I've had this done to me before, it's a very intimate thing, like markings of ones territory. It definitely has great symbolism behind it. I have never had it on my face though, that's just to much of a hard limit!!! Do it with someone you trust...as all new experiences should be it's personal, private and very erotic with the right tone and setting. Make sure your safe:)
it's personal, private and very erotic with the right tone and setting. Make sure your safe:)
Active Ink Slinger
Every relationship has their tiffs, regardless of how many people are involved. But, just any other type of relationship, their is the good and the bad, the ugly and the beautiful. I've been in other relationships as well that have been poly and people weren't totally honest about their wants and needs...and yes it sucks.
It's hard to find people who can honestly fall inlove with more than one person and to be 100% honest about it and make it work, with all the metamours. Sometimes, people don't know what they want, it is really hard to figure out!! As long as everyone is honest with each other, and knows about one another. A poly relationship can be beautiful. I've just been lucky enough to find one
It's hard to find people who can honestly fall inlove with more than one person and to be 100% honest about it and make it work, with all the metamours. Sometimes, people don't know what they want, it is really hard to figure out!! As long as everyone is honest with each other, and knows about one another. A poly relationship can be beautiful. I've just been lucky enough to find one
Active Ink Slinger
A great source for learning, having people that understand you and just getting involved in a more kinky lifestyle is If you do decide to join (more then likely in your own area)there will be a local play space/dungeon where you can go learn and meet like minded individuals.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Liz
Polyamory is a choice.
People don't consciously choose their sexuality, they are what they are.
I wouldn't say poly is a choice...
At least for me it's not. I live the way I do because poly is a part of me, just as much as my pansexuality is. I've tried to be monogamous. I can't do it. I fell inlove with two people, who have fell inlove with each other as well.
Being poly, is not dating people to have a free sex card or a affair without all the negativity that happens with it. I am very blessed to have these two wonderful people that love, support and
continue to guide wherever life takes us together.
Maybe I should make a thread defining types of relationships...
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Aragon2
I am not into something like that. Love should be not shared. I love only one woman. An amorous relationship with multiple partners is not comparable for me with the one true love I feel for the one woman who owns my heart.
For the longest time I struggled with the fact that I was poly, just because I choose to live my life differently then you and have the capability to find true love with more than one person. If it doesn't work for you, great! I'm happy you found someone that you found true love with, just as I have with my two partners. Don't judge, just because I am different then you, opinions are opinions, yes...but I would never belittle someone just because they live differently then me. Stop ignorance, fight it and expand your self knowledge even if you don't have the same beliefs with some people. Ignorance is not bliss.
Active Ink Slinger
Curious to know if anyone else is in one. I have a primary and a secondary, we're kind of like a triadic situation. Would love to know if anyone is involved like this.
Polyamorous: Polyamory is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
Polyamorous: Polyamory is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.