“You’re not getting any younger you know, Nick.” My know-all older sister’s weekly ‘sermon’ about my health and mobility was bang on cue. “Can you still make it to the corner shop?” “Only on my electric mobility aid.” “So how d’you go on for groceries?” “...
“Got anything planned for today?” my mother enquired as she brought me my morning tea. “I expect I’ll go down to the skate board park later with some of the lads.” “Be an angel and drop our edge trimmer round to Marion’s, would you sweetie? She rang earli...
I had been told that you can often meet interesting people on adult education literary courses. The seeds of my son-in-law’s divorce were sown at an Open University Summer School. But that’s another story. After an extensive trawl of the net, I’d found a...
It was the Roman poet Horace who first coined the phrase ‘Carpe Diem’ (‘grasp the day’ or ‘grasp the moment’) Ursula Harrows was a creature of habit. She had been ever since the days when she was Head Girl at St Trinian’s Convent (her nickname was ‘Spanke...
Shy divorcee Mark Sutton, was still licking his wounds after his acrimonious divorce. The court settlement had been crippling, but the subsequent bill from his so-called lawyers was even worse. As his job as a low-grade London banker hung in the balance,...
Canon Chasuble’s record wasn’t too hard to equal, but fucking Colette’s bottom was going to be in a different league altogether. My sex education at college had been just about zilch: frotting in the communal showers with other boys after games, the pictu...
The term ‘reserved occupation’ was used by many European countries in WWII to categorise certain trades and skills which exempted people from being conscripted for military service. In Britain, farming was one such skill; and as a farmer, my Uncle Ned (no...
We had been blessed with a week of warm weather since I gave 20-year-old Clare her last driving lesson – the Saturday that she’d given me a memorable blow job in the front seat of my car. Seated behind the wheel, she asked with undisguised eagerness: “Bac...
My ex had been nagging me for some time to join a social dating club. “Not an online group of saddo serial shaggers, but somewhere where you might possibly meet the next Mrs Bottomley” was how she curtly put it. So I duly enrolled with Cupid’s Bow. It was...
I had been giving my wife's niece Clare driving lessons for almost a month, usually going out in my car on Saturday afternoons. She’d initially signed up with a local driving school, but got rattled and lost confidence after her instructor shouted at her...
I was tucked away quietly in a window seat at the back of the train carriage, headed for a break on the Welsh Gower coast. I was reading a raunchy story in a lads’ magazine, folded inside a copy of a daily newspaper. I was also massaging my cock to a nice...
Let’s face it – we’ve all done it: played the old nostalgia game of recalling idyllic sexual moments with ex-lovers (sometimes re-living them as aids to our solo masturbation). Unless, of course, you’re one of the 0.0001% who wedded your high school sweet...
His text, confirming the time, date and location for our meeting, concluded: Please wear a suit. I’ll be in a single-breasted dark blue suit. My reply read: See you on Friday at noon as arranged. I’ll be wearing a grey double-breasted pin-stripe suit. I w...
I had resigned myself to a solitary Christmas – something I’d become accustomed to since Lauren and I split up three years ago. A well-stocked wine cellar and a fridge- freezer packed with Ready Meals would see me through to the New Year. But her email ch...
Swindon, Wiltshire, UK. Alex Trimmer (real name: Alexi Trimouk) contemplated the sparse contents of his small kitchen and lit another cigarette. A flimsy net curtain fluttered in the window. Alex was – in the parlance of Cold War thriller writers – one of...
