Welcome back to my sexual autobiography, answering questions posed on the Lush forums for which I have a truthful answer!
This poster asks, what was your most embarrassing sexual moment?
One of them has already been told in this series. It's in "The sluttiest thing I've done" and, rather than repeat it here, let's just say that the moral of the story was, if you have a gentleman over for a night of heedless passion, change the bin and throw out the full condoms the next morning...it can't wait!
At college, during a wild night of sex, my boyfriend and I broke the bed, which was cheap plywood and old, to be fair.
I was on my back, legs around his neck. He was really going for it. Each thrust felt like a battering ram. I was a heartbeat away from a serious orgasm. I closed my eyes and arched my neck back.
Suddenly, our revels were interrupted by a hideous crack and we both dropped about a foot!
Anyway, the damn university put it on the bill for fees that they sent to my parents! When they asked me about it, I didn't tell them the whole story, of course, but my mum said "You're blushing, MC1982. We get it, we weren't born yesterday!"
And I saw they were trying not to laugh, and had raised it just to tease me! I fled the room!
But I think my most mortifying moment occurred as follows, and was the first of these three incidents chronologically.
At that time in life, I was living with my parents and working during the summer holidays between years at college. It was my childhood home and my brother and sister both had rooms in the house. My older brother had left home, so it was just my little sister, JC1984, our parents and me.
The guy I was dating, who was called Francesc, had done something above and beyond the call of duty for me that week and was seriously in my good books.
I decided to reward him with an invite to a dinner date and to round off the evening with a surprise blowjob, which I could deliver at home because my parents would be out late and my sister was away at this sort of church camp.
We had a lovely romantic meal down by the beach. We walked to my place together.