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Differing View Points in the Same Head

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ThomasMurphy
Active Ink Slinger
I'm working on my next story, and it's taken a turn for the dark. Thomas (the Protagonist) talks about a veil in his head that he uses to lock away the darker parts of his psyche. He's got an Ogre in his head that is the personification of his darker BDSM'ish desires, and throughout the story, Thomas lets the veil slip, and the Ogre comes out to play.

It's a Dr. Jekly and Mr. Hyde situation. Thomas is a protector, he wants to take care of Toni (his lover), and make sure she enjoys the experience as much as he does. The Ogre, on the other hand, wants to dominate Toni and push her limits.

It's all consensual, Thomas spells out the rules for the encounter, including safe words.

I'm trying to write Thomas and the Ogre with different styles, but I'm worried that it might be confusing to the reader to have competing styles from the same POV. When Thomas is in control, he refers to her as "Toni," and he's softer with the language and actions. When the Ogre is in control, he refers to her as "Little One," like she's too little to resist, and the Ogre's actions are rougher and unforgiving.

Any suggestions on how I can differentiate Thomas and the Ogre, without spelling out the switch each time, would be appreciated.
Verbal
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Great premise.

Line break between sections, and put the Ogre's parts in italics maybe?

I'd read it.
RejectReality
Errant Smut Slinger
Italics can get hard on the eyes quickly. I have characters communicating telepathically in one of my storylines, and I use italics to denote that, so I've been able to pick up on it, and got a lot of feedback about it.

Using different names for her is a solid demarcation. Cruder word choices for the ogre could be another way. Or, perhaps go the opposite way and have him speak clinically. Find something that contrasts sharply with the Dr. Jeckel half.

The stepped up physicality is another solid indicator that the ogre is in control. Why not give him some physical tics that the Dr. half never exhibits? Again, contrast him with the doctor. Maybe the ogre is vain, if the Doc isn't.

Hell, maybe the ogre favors the opposite hand. That is a good one, now that I think about it. Passing a flogger from one hand to the other when the ogre takes over is a nice hard cue.

The point is, I'd try to demonstrate the two halves without using italics or any other font-based demarcations. Make the narrative do that heavy lifting. It will be easier on the reader's eyes, and make both halves more compelling.

Three Alarm <= Almost famous, give it a read and get it one step closer!
JulieTopper
Advanced Wordsmith
In my recent book 'Double Vision' I wrote it about a few weeks in the life of a couple, where the sex scenes were described from the woman's and the man's point of view. This allowed me to have great fun in showing how each of them saw the same events.
I put the woman's thoughts in italic and the mans in ordinary txt. They alternated about 20 or so lines at a time.