Point of view and tense choices

1 Jan 2021

Quote by seeker4

Even for questions, commands, etc.? I mean, dialogue is generally not just "he said, she said". There is "he asked" and "she replied" and such.

Agreed, though, on not directly attributing, though you have to be careful with that once there is more than two people involved. Can be confusing.

I use "ask," and "cry" and "yell" occasionally. It's not a hard and fast rule or anything. But "said" generally gets the job done.

1 Jan 2021

I don’t really think about 1st person or 3rd person, I just start writing and see what happens. I find both work. Same with past and present tense. Once I’m into editing, I do change my mind occasionally or find I’ve mixed tenses, POV etc. The story is then re-edited accordingly. Can’t say it’s something that’s ever really worried me.

Oh, and said works. I rarely use anything else. Except whispered. I like whispered. My 2 cents

1 Jan 2021

I agree with saucymh. I'll usually start writing a story 3rd person past tense and then as it develops, or as I reread/edit, I might decide to switch it in one draft to 1st person, or present tense, or both as the story demands. It all depends on the effect I'm after.

Interesting mention of adverbs, Verbal. I use adverbs, but try to do so sparingly (damn, there's one!). During editing, if I spot one I'll attempt to eradicate it with some more direct wording or by restructuring the sentence, unless the adverb adds something to the ambiance or flow. I do the same with the words 'feel/felt' and 'see/saw':

She felt his breath on her neck.
I wander past the bathroom and see her nude body reflected in the mirror.

vs

She shivered at his breath on her neck.
As I wander past the bathroom, my cock stiffens at her nude body reflected in the mirror.

The second style wins every time for me. More direct. Action-consequence stuff. And fulfills Rump's notion: thou shalt not bore thy reader.

Although veering slightly off-topic, I almost exclusively avoid dialogue tags. Not consciously; it's just something that seems to have developed in my style. I only just realised by looking through my last few stories published here and noticing there aren't any. At least no he said/she said tags.

I treat them in the same light as adverbs: a very minor sprinkling where absolutely necessary. My thinking is that if I need to keep saying who said what, then the surrounding text is not clear enough to let the reader infer that information, so I'll rewrite it until it is clear. Generally, I use what Verbal suggests and describe some character action, linking the dialogue to that so the connection is obvious.

If I did need one then 'said' would be my default because it becomes invisible to the reader, to a degree. The other options can make it seem like the author is trying too hard which, in turn, pulls a reader out of the moment.

For competitions and Flash fiction, removing dialogue tags is invaluable as it means I can fit more filth into the given word limit. coffee

Over one million views on my stories can't be wrong, so please dive in and browse my 148 stories:

* 32 Editor's Picks, 84 Recommended Reads.
* 16 competition podium places, 12 other times in the top ten.
* 23 collaborations.
* A whole heap of often filthy, tense, hot sex.

2 Jan 2021

Quote by WannabeWordsmith

Interesting mention of adverbs, Verbal. I use adverbs, but try to do so sparingly (damn, there's one!). During editing, if I spot one I'll attempt to eradicate it with some more direct wording or by restructuring the sentence, unless the adverb adds something to the ambiance or flow. I do the same with the words 'feel/felt' and 'see/saw':

She felt his breath on her neck.
I wander past the bathroom and see her nude body reflected in the mirror.

vs

She shivered at his breath on her neck.
As I wander past the bathroom, my cock stiffens at her nude body reflected in the mirror.

The second style wins every time for me. More direct. Action-consequence stuff. And fulfills Rump's notion: thou shalt not bore thy reader.

This, yes, and that’s a great example smile

I personally find it really hard to eliminate adverbs, though, and various ‘saw’ and ‘felt’ moments slip through. Using a few is okay, though imo. Using them in vertically every sentence is not. My 2 cents

2 Jan 2021

Quote by Saucymh
I personally find it really hard to eliminate adverbs, though, and various ‘saw’ and ‘felt’ moments slip through. Using a few is okay, though

Absolutely. No hard and fast rules. When I say 'eliminate' I really mean 'cut down as much as possible'. For example:

Even from the other side of the room, I could feel his magnetism drawing me through the crowd.

And:

It was difficult to see anything beyond the incredible power she had over me.

I'd leave those see/feel entries in. Only uses that can easily be replaced with more direct action-consequence pairs, or those that enhance the story would be destined for the chop.

It's like get/got. There's almost always a better word for those, except when used in speech where they sound more natural than 'obtained' or 'received' or 'acquired'. Better still, I find, is restructuring the sentence entirely to make it more dynamic and remove the need for get/got if possible.

I've learned over the years that lttle tweaks like that can make a big difference to the engagement of a story.

Over one million views on my stories can't be wrong, so please dive in and browse my 148 stories:

* 32 Editor's Picks, 84 Recommended Reads.
* 16 competition podium places, 12 other times in the top ten.
* 23 collaborations.
* A whole heap of often filthy, tense, hot sex.

6 Jan 2021

Woah, this is a good question. I prefer 1st person past tense as it's my default and easier to write.

I've done 1st person present too, a device in the past used to break the 'fourth wall' and guide readers into why something is happening. It's a little harder but I have always avoided 3rd person present, so much harder to remain in tense. As for 2nd person - I struggle - why? I imagine addressing the reader in 2nd person is a way to raise tension, a useful vehicle, and not one I have felt the need to use.

I really get WW too on the use of adverbs - I find that using them hides a need for description that *might* be required. Again, it's easy, especially if a little fatigue creeps in to start peppering them around with abandon. There's a great app called 'Hemmingway' which I use for highlighting adverbs and sentence structure.

Setting a word limit at a sitting has kept me out of bad habits, however, setting a target when you are not feeling it is another kettle of fish altogether.

Lastly, the thesaurus of 'he said', 'she said'. I will start any conversational piece with who started it, then to let it flow with prompts to the reader so they don't lose their place. I've used emotive expression like 'opined' and 'surmised' before rather than how they said it.

Absolutely, the last word... kiss. Find another word for that, and a thread in its own right no doubt.

6 Jan 2021

This is great info for me! Thanks to all who posted Big Hugs

Kindness is contagious. Spread it! ❤️