Wait, slippery, didn't you just give a sermon about how to be respectful with people who ask genuine questions?
Anyway...
I started by grasping my right foot with my left hand. Then, I put my left foot on my keyboard (I was cybering). My right hand laid on the floor, middle finger pointing South-East. I then twisted my hips slightly to a 45 degree angle, while arching my torso back. That's when extra virgin olive oil came in handy. I grasped the bottle with my teeth and poured some on my left side only. Then I flexed my right arm, up and down, up and down, paused down, up and down, screamed 'Ouuha!', repeated. My penis was rubbing nicely agaisnt my left extensor carpi radialis brevis. At this point, I opened a bag of Cheetos ; my doctor told me it could lead me to get an orange penis in the long run, but I don't care. That's when the real fun began, with the Cheetos I mean.
Mine was when I caught this hick girl giving herself a kentucky washdown...which led to us engaging in a kentucky tractor puller. She pulled me through the south until we ended up in alabama where I thought "when in rome" and we ended the party with an alabama hot pocket.
My biggest orgasm to date was when I had a FFM threesome with a married couple. I was lying on my back with my head propped up by two pillows, the guy positioned himself astride me so he could push his cock into my mouth and she finger fucked me whilst licking and sucking my clit.
He held back and timed it so he would cum at the same time as me.
Cumming hard and swallowing. Multitasking at its pinnacle
He licked my clit for an hour. Everytime he thought I might finish, he stopped for a moment. He was fingering me at the same time but just one finger and not too fast. After an hour or near climax and pur bliss, I begged him to fuck me doggy as hard as he could. He obliged. Then I got on top of him and rode his cock until I was screaming in pleasure. So for about an hour and a half I was basically in mid orgasm not being allowed to climax until the very end. Best. Orgasm. Ever.