Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado
I learn something new all the time on Lush ....
I had never heard of such a rule. Seems like there are too many rules already.
Why would I want to invest that much time with a person if this were not going to go anywhere?
I believe it depends on how slow or rapid things progress. There is no definite formula or rules for dating. Personally I'd rather take time to get to know someone a little better and even beyond a third date. Fucking-someone-too-soon might lead to awkward or undesirable consequences. To a woman it might mean a deeper commitment but to the man he might not see it that way or vice versa.
I am very familiar with the Third Date Rule from my single days. To most of the guys it was if you haven't got sex by the third date, it's time to move on.
What Ashleigh said above rings very familiar. I remember cooking my marinated chicken with rice pilaf a few times on either the second or third date, have a bottle of wine. Well, my living room wasn't too inviting (it was also served as the garage for my motorcycle and a kayak hung from the ceiling, not to mention the bench press and weights), my TV was in the bedroom, so that's where we ended up after dinner and the wine was finished. I don't remember watching the TV though.
I didn't go by a formula and quite often sex happened on the first or second date.
I've never heard of that rule, only don't expect sex on the first date with a girl. Well I never expected it but I got it because they wanted to have sex.
As far as gay men are concerned, you know you're going to have sex on the first date, that's why you're on a date! When I was younger, no gay guy is going to get to a third date without sex.
With that rule, I wonder how many times guys only ever went on two dates!
The concept is old, in my opinion. And I don't believe in 'daring' anyway. Go places, do stuff, have sex.
I let things happen as they happen...
Want to spend some time wallowing in a Recommended Read? Pick one! Or two! Or seven!
3rd date rule sounds like someone made it up to say "fuck me or get lost - those are the rules!"
Geesssssssh. What about doing what come naturally and letting it happen when it happens - safe, sane and consensual.
"Okay, this is our third date, now I've got the condoms. You on the pill? Been checked for STD? I have. You want to fuck now and then go get something to eat (see a movie etc) or eat (whatever first) as long as we both understand that neither one of us goes home without being fucked. Are we clear?"
I am like Buz I remember the rule very well from college days too. In fact I had never heard of it before then. In high school if you had been dating awhile and hadn't had sex it was talked about, but not like college.
I remember my first roommate in college was a real believer in it. If he was going out for just a hook-up he prepared...condoms, nice underwear, etc. If he had been dating a girl he really liked he didn't really worry about those things until their 3rd date.
Never heard of it.
Mind you I haven't dated in years......don't need to.
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
I think the 3rd Date Rule is a dumb idea. I've fucked guys on the first date before and others I wouldn't fuck if I went out with them a dozen times (which I never do if they don't turn me on to start with). It doesn't matter what 'number' your on. IF it feels good and you want it, slip your panties down girls and have at it!
I think the 3rd Date Rule is a dumb idea. I've fucked guys on the first date before and others I wouldn't fuck if I went out with them a dozen times (which I never do if they don't turn me on to start with). It doesn't matter what 'number' your on. IF it feels good and you want it, slip your panties down girls and have at it!
It depends on where you are in life and what you're after. In my younger years, late teens and early twenties, the third date rule was definitely on my mind. And the minds of many of my friends. It wasn't a hard and fast rule, pardon the pun, but is was a consideration. When you're 20 years old and all your friends are getting laid fairly regularly, a guy isn't going to want to spend too much time with someone that isn't putting out. Doesn't make her (or him) a bad person or anything. By the third date you'll have a pretty good idea if and what sexual activity is possible. By then you'll know if she's deeply religious or is waiting for the "right guy" or waiting for a commitment... then you decide to stick around or cut bait.
Later in life, people's wants and needs from a potential relationship are different. By the third date then, you're more interested in if he/she has kids. Has a job, has a home, lives with parents, is a crack head, ever arrested for domestic violence, has a psycho ex....
When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates I keep being amazed by the diversity of demographics on LushStories. I swear, most people of my age who are dating actively know of this rule where I live. And I live in a major city which is often featured on top 20 lists for both best nightlife and most beautiful women around the world, so it's really not something I made up with a few of my friends in a small local bar.
As I've said before though, it's really not a cold hard rule which everybody needs to abide to, but more of a social expectation. I don't even remember learning about it myself, but having sex around the 3rd date always felt natural to me, and most people of my demographic would agree that it is the most convenient way to:
- know your partner a little before having sex
- push things a little to make the most out of your dates
- avoid losing time with a person that isn't interested
- tease each other in a fun manner before having sex
- settle a proper situation to have sex
Also, concerning learning about your partner... why would you need to know a person in every details before having sex with him/her? Sex really isn't a huge commitment like it was 50 years ago; it's just a fun activity which sexually active/comfortable people like to engage into to spice up their lives. It's neither a proof of long-term commitment or disrespect toward your partner either.
Learning basic information about a person really doesn't take that much time anyway (eg. job, stability, ambitions, lifestyle, etc.); show me a 10 minutes video of a random guy/girl describing what kind of person he/she is, and I could most probably assess a whole lot about his/her personality and lifestyle. Now, give me the opportunity to interact one-on-one with this person for 2 dates, freely asking him/her any question and observing him/her in public, and I'd have plenty of information to figure out what I would like to do with this person, may that be never seeing each other again, being friends, fucking, or engaging in a more serious relationship.
As many people here also seem to think, this is not just an imposition created by men to force women to have sex with them quickly. Most women of my demographic are quite busy and attractive, and would roll their eyes at a male that didn't try anything with them after 3 dates. If you can't be assertive about what you expect from her fairly quickly... look elsewhere dude. These women aren't exactly interested in a man that brings them flowers for 10 dates before putting sex on the table, no matter what kind of relationship they're after. They often prefer the assertive, busy, available male who proceeds with things rather quickly. Plus, they want to be fucked in a reasonable delay.
About spontaneity... it's a little easier to be 'spontaneous' about sex or to provoke things when both partners are in an intimate setting (ie. apartment/house) than in the middle of city fair, bar or bowling alley. Why would planning things a little and inviting the lady over be such a bad thing?
I expect to be fucked at least three times before I'll go out to dinner with a guy.
