Unsolicited dick pics

Sending unsolicited dick pics is lame and shows you actually know nothing about women. Women prefer pics of secondary sexual characteristics over a tube attached to wrinkly balls.

Be a normal person and talk with them. Build rapport. Why in the flying motherfuck would you send random dick pics to people you do not know?Are you random dick pic senders stupid? Are you deficient?

Oh, and if you think, "Well, shucks, my cack is 8+ inches and I send them, so me and the small dudes aren't the same." Man, shut your dumb ass up too. You think 'cause you packing that anybody want to see that shit outta the blue? Now she's just getting a kitchen towels tube attached to two wrinkly balls instead of a toilet paper tube.

My suggestions:

First offense: Suspension

Second offense: Site ban

Get their lame asses outta here, man.

Yes, as a guy, I agree with the men and women here. Why do men think it is ok to send an unsolicited picture like that? Do they think they are going to get an invitation to meet up? Highly unlikely. Guys need to stop hiding behind the anonymity of the internet. Have some class, and introduce yourself properly.

Even if I were inclined to share pictures, I would never send a dick pic, especially unsolicited. They are an assault on an unwilling recipient and should never be acceptable. I vote for banning.

No I haven’t and have only sent anything with request or agreement. Now stop sending all those pictures, only joking. Great post , well highlighted

I honestly don't understand why the mods won't do something.

I was banned for a week for posting a political meme to the political group.

I was sent a very nasty message from an account I couldn't reply to to even defend myself. Part of the message was one more fuckup and I'm facing a permanent ban.

Even IF I agreed with the decision, and I don't, I was given zero warnings. I offended someone and got banned.

These men offend lots of people and face little to nothing.

I'm told by many people that the site won't do anything about this, and the offenders know it.

I reported someone last year who sent multiple messages calling me sick and disgusting bcuz I like BDSM. Nothing was done. No ban. I dunno if he was warned or not.

It's bullshit

Just saying

Quote by Busty_Minx
On my profile...

Let me stop you there. Do you honestly think that anyone who serially sends dick pics is going to read anyone's profile? In the same vein that anyone who intends to steal your property isn't going to be dissuaded by the sign on your lawn that says "Please don't burgle me."

Calling it out works.

Good. Then let's encourage that behaviour. I don't use the chat rooms so I'm not much use here. As far as I understand, moderator presence in rooms doesn't go down well, so this may have to be a grassroots initiative that the decent men here adopt.

We could certainly add encouraging words to the Ts and Cs or AUP docs, but see the point above about nobody reading them. You should see the number of story submissions we get that violate the most basic and common-sense site rules, clearly stated.

So no it isn't taken seriously.

That's disappointing and I'm sorry you feel this way. We do investigate all reports. Sadly, there are site members who goad people into sending pics and then report them for doing so. Also people who share pics with others and then report them when the photo appears on the internet. Wastes our time, but we have to investigate.

Quote by Busty_Minx
How to improve this situation...

Your list has been noted. Some of it would require development effort as we do not have the toolset or granularity to be able to effect them. The banning tools we have are very basic at present.

Quote by Busty_Minx
does this mean that every report is then filed with police since it is a sex crime?

No. In the same way that not every one of the few thousand daily sexts that fly between teenagers are reported; there'd be no kids left in schools.

See what Georgia said about our stance.

Not really sure how much free time you think the mods have around our day jobs, and I doubt the police would care. A few weeks ago, two thugs smashed the patio window in my neighbour's house at 4pm and entered, while they were in. Caught on CCTV. Police called: "Nothing we can do. Case closed. Get better locks." Seriously.

But if we can work towards being tougher on site offenders, as you suggest, it should help reduce this frankly pathetic behaviour. Combined with encouraging people to block, report, and support those in public spaces to call out the twats, we can improve the site for everyone.

I don't send them, solicited or not, but I'm also not exactly Mr. Supersocial on here other than posting on the forums. I think men who send them unasked are assholes but, frankly, I've never been around when it happens so have never really had the opportunity to call them out. But they are assholes and I agree that moderation is a solution, though a partial one at best.

Unless a site has paid, fulltime moderators, moderation on that scale is simply not going to happen and very, very few sites have that. Even rpg.net, one of the largest and oldest forums I am on uses volunteers still. And by definition, volunteers have other things to do with their time. It's the same problem as with story moderation. The mods are volunteers and do the work when they can so sometimes the queue gets long because people are busy. Similarly, sometimes reports languish or action doesn't happen on a timely basis because people are busy.

Solution? Report the incidents and the mods will do their best.

And support the mods when they do act. One of the most common reasons I find for mods hesitating is them getting blasted when they do take action. Damned if they do and damned if they don't is a recipe for frustration and mod burnout.

My suggestions:

First offense: Suspension

Second offense: Site ban

Get their lame asses outta here, man.

I don't agree with suspension for the first offense, I like a multiple strike system. 3 strikes for the same offense.

I think a warning should be the first thing done.

This is a common sense thing, but some aren't intentional.

I see memes with children all the time. Nothing sexual, but clearly against the rules of no picture of anybody under 18.

My take on the age thing is it's supposed to be nothing sexual with anyone under 18, but I know people who were spanked for funny memes with children.

That shouldn't be a suspension. Likely it isn't on purpose

Quote by Seeker4
support the mods when they do act. One of the most common reasons I find for mods hesitating is them getting blasted when they do take action. Damned if they do and damned if they don't is a recipe for frustration and mod burnout.

💯

Quote by Seeker4
support the mods when they do act. One of the most common reasons I find for mods hesitating is them getting blasted when they do take action. Damned if they do and damned if they don't is a recipe for frustration

Quote by WannabeWordsmith

💯

The fact that Admin have come in here and been part of this discussion is support to me, as a Chat Moderator.

I, because I will let the Mods speak for themselves, feel enormously grateful that admin want EVERYONE on lush to feel safe.

I do not want anyone to feel like they can not express their sexuality, because Lush has a unique community culture. However, to me, the issue here, is constantly harassment.

There are some ‘morons’ who send lushmail dick pics, then taunt without remorse. This is not just a ‘chat’ issue. THOSE are the ones I want to weed out & am willing to do the work there.

To you Men, I ask, when you see a woman (people) being harassed & taunted, call it out in the chat room /public. Some of ‘morons’ don’t respond unless a male voice has shouted loudly than them.

I ask this not because I’m not capable of taking care of myself, being a woman, but because even as a Moderator, I felt unsafe. And boyz, this is how many women feel on lush, everyday.

This pains me. I love our little community & will do anything I can to protect it.

Once again WW, your public show of support is appreciated by all members of Lush.

Thank you.

ok, first off, i am a mod. a story mod, but yeah, i still wear a mod hat. the blunt truth as i see it... yes, it shouldn't be allowed. yes, people should be, at the least, discouraged from doing it in whatever way possible. that said, it is so hard to police... from my perspective, i would be spending all my time here simply dealing with unwanted dick pix is everyone who go one alerted me.

i seriously wish i could do something about it, other than make the suggestion that anyone who gets one, doesn't simply sigh and accept it. push back. take it into your own hands. someone sends you a picture like that, tell them exactly what you think of it. tell them it's unwanted and that it's harassment and that it's not harmless and cute or funny. don't be nice about it, either. let them know that they have overstepped their bounds. and, as a mod, i would never suggest letting every single one of your friends know that there is a creepy sending that shit out and who they are, but yeah, if you did that, maybe a few of them might say something too and they would get the msg.

and yes, some guys ask, but still, i think some of the women feel obligated to say yeah, fine, whatever. don't. you don't need to be nice. you don't need to accept that kind of behavior as normal. you don't need to put up with unwanted shit.

ps. just to add a bit to this. a lot of people here and in real life think i am a bitch cause i stand up for myself. i take that as a matter of pride. i really could care less about the opinions of assholes. the people who matter know better. so yeah, give yourself permission to release your inner bitch.

Quote by sprite

ps. just to add a bit to this. a lot of people here and in real life think i am a bitch cause i stand up for myself. i take that as a matter of pride. i really could care less about the opinions of assholes. the people who matter know better. so yeah, give yourself permission to release your inner bitch.

Nope… you are a fucking inspiration.

Quote by sprite

ps. just to add a bit to this. a lot of people here and in real life think i am a bitch cause i stand up for myself. i take that as a matter of pride. i really could care less about the opinions of assholes. the people who matter know better. so yeah, give yourself permission to release your inner bitch.

I don't think you're a bitch. I love your 'tude

I have thick skin, and couldn't care less about dick pics.

That said, it is harassment. Aggravated harassment from some. I freely admit I don't know the scope of the problem.

I've never had one. I would think it's dozens of guys sending dozens or hundreds of pics out, not hundreds of guys sending one pic to one person.

My first thought is banning a dozen guys (temporarily) might take out 90 percent of the problem. But that's just cuz I'm very anal about things.

Quote by Vampire_vixen

I don't think you're a bitch. I love your 'tude

I have thick skin, and couldn't care less about dick pics.

That said, it is harassment. Aggravated harassment from some. I freely admit I don't know the scope of the problem.

I've never had one. I would think it's dozens of guys sending dozens or hundreds of pics out, not hundreds of guys sending one pic to one person.

My first thought is banning a dozen guys (temporarily) might take out 90 percent of the problem. But that's just cuz I'm very anal about things.

i think that a lot of it is aimed at the women spending time in the chat rooms. easy for guys to sit there and mass mail shots of their cocks to folk there. those of us who don't frequent them are less likely to have issues. that shouldn't mean that the solution, btw, is to stay clear of them. not fair to not do something you enjoy because someone can't control themself. i mean, seriously, it's an adult site. act like an adult. if you wouldn't whip it out and show it to someone IRL don't fucking do it here either.

Quote by sprite

i think that a lot of it is aimed at the women spending time in the chat rooms. easy for guys to sit there and mass mail shots of their cocks to folk there. those of us who don't frequent them are less likely to have issues. that shouldn't mean that the solution, btw, is to stay clear of them. not fair to not do something you enjoy because someone can't control themself. i mean, seriously, it's an adult site. act like an adult. if you wouldn't whip it out and show it to someone IRL don't fucking do it here either.

Not just chat anymore. The morons may find the names in chat, but they go for lush mail now, which means, if you are a female on lush, you must want to see their ugly tiny dicks.

Harassment anywhere on this site has to dealt with - chat, groups, forum or mail.

Quote by Vampire_vixen

I don't agree with suspension for the first offense, I like a multiple strike system. 3 strikes for the same offense.

I think a warning should be the first thing done.

This is a common sense thing, but some aren't intentional.

I see memes with children all the time. Nothing sexual, but clearly against the rules of no picture of anybody under 18.

My take on the age thing is it's supposed to be nothing sexual with anyone under 18, but I know people who were spanked for funny memes with children.

That shouldn't be a suspension. Likely it isn't on purpose

How do you "not intentionally" send a dick pic? I kinda think you are explicitly choosing to send it... its not like you fell on your mouse and your computer found the offending pic.. selected it.. and hit send without your knowledge!

OK, it's really quite simple, unsolicited dick pic's are not OK, they are abusive, degrading and just plain wrong. If you are one of 'them' then you need to take a long hard look at yourself and decide if you would be happy if it was your wife or daughter who was on the receiving end of your behaviour. You're clearly not going to impress anyone and you are almost certainly going to upset someone, if you think otherwise you clearly have no appreciation of how women think (maybe that's the problem). If you do persist then a ban is fully justified, no one here wants you, no one needs your dumb ass attitude or your sad pics, sorry/not sorry if you're upset.

I did get them to start with ten I put on my bio

“Guys not into dick pics. If you send pics of your cock you will be blocked”

Why do men send them? Do they think we think look at his cock I use have it 🤣🤣

Quote by WannabeWordsmith

Let me stop you there. Do you honestly think that anyone who serially sends dick pics is going to read anyone's profile?

My point was only that as women we do everything we can to keep ourselves safe.

Quote by WannabeWordsmith

We could certainly add encouraging words to the Ts and Cs or AUP docs, but see the point above about nobody reading them.

I completely agree that not everyone reads them but when admin/moderators deal with the report and mention the site rules the offender can no longer say going forward that they "didn't know" and also I think it would give moderators more support when implementing it.

Having them as a basic code of conduct would go a long way in terms of support and having something formal so thank you for considering it.

Quote by WannabeWordsmith

Sadly, there are site members who goad people into sending pics and then report them for doing so.

People who do that are arseholes and they should be punished just as equally for wasting time of the moderators.

Quote by WannabeWordsmith

But if we can work towards being tougher on site offenders, as you suggest, it should help reduce this frankly pathetic behaviour. Combined with encouraging people to block, report, and support those in public spaces to call out the twats, we can improve the site for everyone.

I am very grateful for your time, for listening and for the open support. I love Lush and the community it has built. I have a thick skin but seeing a moderator being taunted by the offender as he spams her with dick pics and openly telling her "he does it all the time and nothing happens to him" is what prompted this discussion.

I don't want bellends like him ruining the site for others.

I was not expecting all of my suggestions to be followed to the T but I can't just moan about problems without offering some sort of way forward and I know it will investment and time but it would be beneficial.

Once again thank you for your replies and your support.

The key to this is that you ask the member to stop and ideally you retain the evidence that you have done so. If the same member continues with the practice thereafter then you should report them and explain the circumstances, i.e. you have previously asked the member to cease with the images but it has occurred again. In the chat rooms use the abuse report. Elsewhere use the report message or profile report whatever. Once a member has been told to stop, if they do it again, we can use the harassment rule to take action.

It’s unacceptable behaviour and I would absolutely call it out in public. On the group I’m a member of, I’m very vocal in my condemnation of men who harass women in this way.

I can only apologise to the ladies who get these pictures and videos. We’re not all that way

Quote by Seeker4

But they are assholes and I agree that moderation is a solution, though a partial one at best.

And support the mods when they do act. One of the most common reasons I find for mods hesitating is them getting blasted when they do take action. Damned if they do and damned if they don't is a recipe for frustration and mod burnout.

Having something that formally says this is a violation of site rules will hopefully provide moderators with support and power.

If people blast mods for implementing rules then those people are the problem.

I think the moderators that know me, know I always openly show them support especially when people are being arseholes. They don't deserve to be abused especially because they are volunteers.

Quote by sprite

i would be spending all my time here simply dealing with unwanted dick pix is everyone who go one alerted me.

i seriously wish i could do something about it, other than make the suggestion that anyone who gets one, doesn't simply sigh and accept it. push back. take it into your own hands.

and yes, some guys ask, but still, i think some of the women feel obligated to say yeah, fine, whatever. don't. you don't need to be nice. you don't need to accept that kind of behavior as normal. you don't need to put up with unwanted shit.

It wouldn't be very fun for you to deal with no and it wouldn't be completely effective but hopefully at the very least discouraging.

I am very much like you and call people put into heir bullshit and tell them no wants to see their pathetic stumpy dick.

It would be great to have a name and shame forum thread but full screenshots would need to be shared in order to name and shame.

This isnt something that just happens in chat rooms. They are being sent to people via mailbox despite never seeing or hearing of them before.

A few weeks ago a guy was bullying women in the rooms because they wasn't engaging with him the way that they wanted. No one spoke up to defend the women. So I did, in a polite way suggesting that perhaps if multiple women are telling him the same thing then perhaps his behaviour needs to change.

He continued, and I continued to defend them - an admin appeared. The offender and I were both told to be nice. I pm'd the admin explaining the offender was bullying women in the lounge and I was told to 'block, delete and ignore'

I understand and agree that we should keep Lush harmonious but sometimes arseholes need to be told about themselves.

And you lovely are definitely not a bitch far from it! You are strong woman and I'm here for it!

Quote by TheGentlemanWolf

How do you "not intentionally" send a dick pic? I kinda think you are explicitly choosing to send it... its not like you fell on your mouse and your computer found the offending pic.. selected it.. and hit send without your knowledge!

I couldn't agree me, it is completely intentional they know full well what they are doing.

Quote by simplyjohn

The key to this is that you ask the member to stop and ideally you retain the evidence that you have done so. If the same member continues with the practice thereafter then you should report them and explain the circumstances, i.e. you have previously asked the member to cease with the images but it has occurred again. In the chat rooms use the abuse report. Elsewhere use the message report or profile report whatever. Once a member has been told to stop, if they do it again, we can use the harassment rule to take action.

Respectfully we shouldn't have to say stop, if we haven't outright provided consent or asked for said picture from the outset then an image like that shouldn't be sent.

I block them immediately after I respond to them telling them how pathetic they are. So they can't do it to me again for me to then report according to your advice above. But they then move on to the next person and repeat the cycle.

Quote by Busty_Minx

Respectfully we shouldn't have to say stop, if we haven't outright provided consent or asked for said picture from the outset then an image like that shouldn't be sent.

I block them immediately after I respond to them telling them how pathetic they are. So they can't do it to me again for me to then report according to your advice above. But they then move on to the next person and repeat the cycle.

Reporting any one member creates a paper trail.

The reports on a member are logged and can be viewed by anyone on the Moderation and Admin team, which enables us to see a trend in actions for any members site wide.

If you report someone tomorrow, then Jane Doe and Joanne Bloggs reports the same person next week and the week after, this gives us clear justification to take action, using the multiple phase procedure I mentioned at the bottom of the previous page.

Also, the mention of documentation on the fact; In the meantime of official documents being amended, please refer anyone to this thread in future. Various mods from across the site, Senior Mods & Admin are all in agreement within this thread, making this thread a reference point for the sites stance on unsolicited images of genitals.

That includes both male and female, BTW, as it's not just the blokes that do it, though it's just them which are getting a bashing right now - the few 'uber-lesbians' with 'girly clitty dicks' and vaginas that look like someone has stamped on a kebab have escaped the slander - for now.

Ultimately, you (the collective members) are responsible for your own online safety. As unpaid volunteers, we are only able to back you up once the correct procedures have been taken.

Most dicks aren't that impressive anyway..why whip it out as a conversation starter?

Quote by Funguy76

Most dicks aren't that impressive anyway..why whip it out as a conversation starter?

Comedy sometimes is a good way to break the ice.

Doing this usually ends in the cold shoulder, though.

Hi all, not read all the posts but what if there was somewhere that recipients of said dick-pics could post the names of the senders so to make them known to all?

Quote by welshman

Hi all, not read all the posts but what if there was somewhere that recipients of said dick-pics could post the names of the senders so to make them known to all?

No. This would create a whole thread of nastiness where people will be getting bashed, based on potentially one mistake. It would also be considered harassment in the other direction.

Use the reporting feature, block them and let us deal with it with the procedures which work, and have been in place since before I became a Moderator.