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Why is ex lover ignoring me?

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Sirene_Jaune
Active Ink Slinger
A few years ago Mr Jaune and I briefly separated. I hooked up with a guy I knew from work (different departments) it lasted four months until he was being extreme and I ended it. Any way yesterday I saw him and I knew he saw me, he ignored me no hi or waving. I checked Facebook and he deleted me. Shock of shocks haha.

I know I shouldn't be upset by it but I am just curious why an ex lover would delete me or ignore me?
Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
Because you are an ex and most people don't want anything to do with an ex. That's why you are an ex... He probably thinks that any kind of action on his part will be read into by you so he chooses to ignore and not have any contact at all.
Sirene_Jaune
Active Ink Slinger
Perhaps Felix. Yet he knows I got back with my partner so it's like why bother ignoring me haha.
Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
Why wouldn't he bother ignoring you though? Is there anything good that can come of it if he interacts with you?
Dani
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
Lots of exes do this, especially if the relationship didn't end amicably.

To put it bluntly, he's probably just moved on with his life and doesn't want any further interaction with you.

If he's gone so far as to pretend that you don't even exist, then yeah, he's done with you.

"What is the quality of your intent?" - Thurgood Marshall
Guest
Lurker
My ex works at a store I HAVE to go to in order to buy certain things. I HATE going there as a result. I hate the potential small-talk. I hate any potential for him to ask me questions about my current husband and life. I just hate the entire awkwardness of even seeing him. I hate the feeling that I must be polite to him and have some strange formal exchange just because we dated / fucked / talked about getting married.

So I ignore him. I ignore the shit out of him. I AVOID him as much as possible.

I don't hate HIM. I just wish I didn't have to worry ABOUT him. I'd like to move on without being reminded of being WITH him. It's not good or bad memories - but memories that I don't need to relive. I am married and since my husband's injury and retirement from the military life has become extremely stressful - which hasn't been the most stellar thing - and I really don't need that distraction, either.

I don't need my ex to see me having a shit day (which he's done) and become concerned. I don't need it - at all. Unwelcomed.

The only MAN who has the right to make me uncomfortable / inconvenience me / inquire about how I'm doing is my husband - no one else.

Does this bother my ex? Does it hurt his feelings? I don't know - I don't care . . . because he's my EX. When we broke up he stopped being a significant force in my daily life and wellbeing. Hence why it's dreadfully annoying he can still irk me like this.
Guest
Lurker
Quote by Dani
Lots of exes do this, especially if the relationship didn't end amicably.

To put it bluntly, he's probably just moved on with his life and doesn't want any further interaction with you.

If he's gone so far as to pretend that you don't even exist, then yeah, he's done with you.


*THIS*

xx SF

(It can, speaking as a SHATTERED EX, (!!!) be the VERY KINDEST THING an ex-lover might do for you... IF a PART your relationship centered around sex, and IF that is Most Definitely not on the Menu anymore... A CLEAN AND TOTAL break is best for ALL CONCERNED...)
Guest
Lurker
Quote by Metilda
My ex works at a store I HAVE to go to in order to buy certain things. I HATE going there as a result. I hate the potential small-talk. I hate any potential for him to ask me questions about my current husband and life. I just hate the entire awkwardness of even seeing him. I hate the feeling that I must be polite to him and have some strange formal exchange just because we dated / fucked / talked about getting married.

So I ignore him. I ignore the shit out of him. I AVOID him as much as possible.

I don't hate HIM. I just wish I didn't have to worry ABOUT him. I'd like to move on without being reminded of being WITH him. It's not good or bad memories - but memories that I don't need to relive. I am married and since my husband's injury and retirement from the military life has become extremely stressful - which hasn't been the most stellar thing - and I really don't need that distraction, either.

I don't need my ex to see me having a shit day (which he's done) and become concerned. I don't need it - at all. Unwelcomed.

The only MAN who has the right to make me uncomfortable / inconvenience me / inquire about how I'm doing is my husband - no one else.

Does this bother my ex? Does it hurt his feelings? I don't know - I don't care . . . because he's my EX. When we broke up he stopped being a significant force in my daily life and wellbeing. Hence why it's dreadfully annoying he can still irk me like this.


How I relate...

(I KNOW my EX feels... SOMETHING about our demise... But you know, HONESTLY... That's the BEST thing about us having NO CONTACT... It's a SHIT thing to admit, BUT LET'S BE HONEST!!! I'm REALLY just someone she USED to know...) She has a LIFE, I am (truly?) as over her as I'll ever be... To PRETEND an involvement after such INTIMACY is just drawing it out... And THERE ISN'T AN 'IT' ANYMORE!!!

I did the usual BEG AND PLEAD when my Missy Went West... (*EMBARRASSING if understandable!!!*) Then, calmer, I deleted her from all my S-Media and called it a day!

I'd LIKE TO THINK that was the MOST ELEGANT course of action. (It was DEFINITELY best for everyone concerned...) The ONE THING I could GIFT her was that I would not concern myself in her new adventure. (So I did that!)

It's not that I don't think of her, fondly and often... It's just that... It Doesn't Matter now! (Not for HER or, indeed, for ME!)

xx SF

(But it's never EASY... You get there, with time and thought...)
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
i can think of very few exes who i maintained any kind of relationship with, or wanted to.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
noll
"insensitive prick!" – Danielle Algo
I understand how relations can break up bad and why ex partners wouldn't want to see each other any more after such a break up, but in other cases I don't really understand. Sure, you may need to keep a distance for some time to heal and mourn perhaps, but after that?


===  Not ALL LIVES MATTER until BLACK LIVES MATTER  ===
Guest
Lurker
Well perhaps it depends on whether someone is the type to have friends or not - or be casually open with people or not. Online I'm one thing (open and chatty) but in real life I'm extremely private and closed off.

Considering all that my ex and I did together ( he changed my kids diapers for Christ's sake) I don't see how it would be possible to be friends without stirring old feelings - good or bad. I remember him as a real cool / nice guy that should have a good future . . . and I'd like to keep that memory all nice and fuzzy.
NymphWriter
Unicorn Wrangler
Some of my exs I still talk to, some I do not. When I run into them, they are always cordial & I'm always polite. Some relationships ended better than others, as is the nature of dating. If I were to encounter an ex who chose to ignore me, then that is his choice... and his problem. I won't let him ruin my day. I mean... I'm so much better off without him in my life so why should I care he ignores me.
Buz
The Linebacker
I always say 'howdy' to my exes. If they act snooty I just ask them (in front of other people) if they've had any luck getting their police record expunged. That always gets a rise out of them.

Truthfully, some of my exes are very good friends, in fact more than one are close friends with my wife. But there are two exes that don't speak to me, but I did marry the girl that caused both of those break ups.
SydneySider
Candy Connoisseur
Or...he's immature and butt hurt for being dumped and this is his way to get back at you.
MorePleasin
Common Sense Iconoclast
There could be lots of reasons. It probably has something to do with you ending it.

His intensity was the cause for you breaking it off, so how do you think it would be any different even if just trying to be friendly? I suspect he will get the wrong idea, and you will end up being hurt or hurting him again, if you try to restart anything. It does not sound like it would work.

But if you both work at the same location, the least you can do for each other is act nonchalant and cordial when in each other's presence and likely to be seen by others, but otherwise not interact.

My
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than open one's mouth and remove all doubt" - Mark Twain (or Lincoln, or Confucius, or...)
Sirene_Jaune
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by MorePleasin
There could be lots of reasons. It probably has something to do with you ending it.

His intensity was the cause for you breaking it off, so how do you think it would be any different even if just trying to be friendly? I suspect he will get the wrong idea, and you will end up being hurt or hurting him again, if you try to restart anything. It does not sound like it would work.

But if you both work at the same location, the least you can do for each other is act nonchalant and cordial when in each other's presence and likely to be seen by others, but otherwise not interact.

My


All your answers are great. I saw him again today and he waved to me as he drove past but I waved back cause his mom was in the car. I left him two years ago and went back to my partner. Just thought it funny that he would go out and ignore me. Perhaps I broke his heart just like I broke my first lover's heart. All interesting.