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would you be a boyfriend for a girl who wants to save her virginity till marriage?

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Quote by Bayeck


sounds like you understand. just don't break the promise if it'll make you guilty or sad because it will stay with you and it might cause problems down the road in your relationship.





oh cool i see now thanks!

Quote by MadMartigan
Promise to the parental unit huh?

I don't believe it is right for someone to control your sexual habits, whether living or from the grave...

I wouldn't break it to spite, but staying a virgin out of a promise to your mother (who shouldn't have any sway on your sex life) is silly.

I won't try to convince you otherwise, but...

But honestly, it is YOUR life. If you want to have sex and trust the man you are with deeply, go for it.

Some promises need to be broken and having that held over you...ugh. You shouldn't feel guilty over it.

Then again, I think the whole stay abstinent until marriage is bunk. But that's my opinion.


probably if the promise was engagement it would have been better
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Quote by Ravyn



Oh dear......the urge or desire to have sex should NOT be your driving force to get married. Trust me when I say this, the promise you made to your mom is one she should never have asked you to make. Losing your virginity is a personal thing and it should only be your decision. Speaking as a mother of two, I would never advise my kids who are 20 and 24 now, to wait until marriage. In a perfect world, yes that may be ideal for some, but you really do need to know you have sexual compatibility with the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with or however long you plan to be married. Living in a sexless or less than desirable sexual pleasurable marriage is no way to live. I speak from over many years of experience on this. Love is an amazingly wonderful thing but that to will fade with there is no sexual compatibility. I am in no way promoting sexual promiscuity, but I am a firm believer in knowing your partner and making sure you are compatible on many levels including sexually related things.

I pose this question to you, what if you do wait, and you and the man you marry consummate your marriage and you find that its not all you thought it to be? Losing ones virginity is not always a pleasurable thing despite what you might read or hear.

If waiting is truly what you want to do for YOU then by all means do it, but waiting because you promised another, I would seriously reconsider. You mentioned how you touch each other now sexually in your previous posts, do you think your mother would approve of that kind of before marriage contact? Do you feel guilt over those actions? Remember, this is your life, and you need to live it as it best suits you.

Not one person in this community can tell you what to do, we can only advise and spark conscious thought. I hope you find the answers you seek and can live with the decision you ultimately make.

I know my response was a bit off topic from your original question. Any guy you are involved with should respect the decisions you make regarding your body, if he leaves then he isn't worthy of you to begin with.


true i agree its best not to marry just to get to ride him. at least with our experiences of my lapdances on him and him give me climaxes we know our bodies well. just curious, does making love feel like other climaxes (like his finger slips and legs kisses) or is it way better? i hope he stays, i would love to feel what his lap is like going in!

Quote by mr_canuck
I would not. Sexual compatibility is important. Your mother should be ashamed of herself for asking you to promise that.

Good luck!



oh well i'm not a great person (i done some wrong things that i never told anyone thati ) so i guess i deserve some punishment anyway in a way. thank you
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Quote by CenterLine
I have been in the past, though that's not an issue in my current relationship. It didn't bother me then, but then I wasn't accustomed to having a lot of sex, nor was I particularly used to having a girlfriend. With that in mind, we broke up because we didn't like each other that much. I suspect that if you and he are in love, then it won't matter that much. It's your virginity, not his, and if he doesn't accept that, and realize that if it's important to you it has to be important to him, then maybe it's not meant to be.

My one piece of active advice is to not let this issue push either of you into getting married before you should.

It would also be interesting to know if he's a virgin or not.


thanks its interesting to learn about others experiences to help me, thanks
thats good that getting along is the most important thing, cos we get a long nicely and we like our bodies a lot. he said hes not a virgin. i know his exgf too and she broke up with him cos he squeezed her bottom too much always. he does mine too but i like.
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Depends on how long an engagement we are talking. At my age time is of the essence.
Advanced Wordsmith
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Depends on how hot she is lol.. If we can still have oral sex and mutual masturbation. Then yes I would let her keep her virginity until after marriage.
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I waited 33 years for her to say yes and discovered the bitch had lied to me
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That's unfortunate, Adagio. Hard to believe, even. I'm sorry to hear that's true, but many, if not most women (and men) who choose to wait are not in fact evil bitches. To everybody who isn't the guy with a lot of pent up rage about this, I realize we're only hearing a small fragment of one side of the story.
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yes I would.
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Well let's put it this way. Since I'm not a teenager (and would not be dating one), I'd be very unlikely to be dating a virgin in any case. As I see it, if she's still a virgin by my age of interest, sounds like there are sexual issues involved as well.

So in answer to the question, I'd be very unlikely to be willing to 'wait until marriage'.

But I probably wouldn't be interested in a virgin in the first place.
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Quote by CenterLine
That's unfortunate, Adagio. Hard to believe, even. I'm sorry to hear that's true, but many, if not most women (and men) who choose to wait are not in fact evil bitches. To everybody who isn't the guy with a lot of pent up rage about this, I realize we're only hearing a small fragment of one side of the story.


I'm sorry but if I thought for one moment that this was true they would be evil bitches.
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But what about my statement would you use to support that statement, Jack_42?
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Quote by CenterLine
But what about my statement would you use to support that statement, Jack_42?


If we are talking a reasonable length of time of course I would respect some crazy hangup with waiting until the union is sanctified; but 30 years - give me a break this would make a good movie. ''Yes here it cums a pent up wall of orgasm 30 years worth of sperm drowning the innocent virgin as she sacrifices her all for her chosen mate.''
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Me personally, I absolutely would. If I was in a relationship that could lead to marriage to an amazing girl then I'd do anything to hold onto her.
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Okay. I was excepting her, except I don't really believe that the story was true in the first place. I was just saying that you can't extend that generalization to everybody. I suppose in retrospect the point didn't really need to be made, but the guy was so mad, and I wanted to remind him that there are other women who might be better for him.
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Just as long as she is saving it for me.
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Absolutely would wait if she wanted.
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Someone else has already said its your decision.
It's your virginity to give not your boyfriends to take
If he loves you he will wait, it's not as though you are denying him the pleasures of your body, just penetration.
Yes I would wait, the greater pleasure when you are ready and offer to me.
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Did that and celebrate 39 years of marriage next week!!
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It wouldn't bother me. If someone wants to wait till marriage it is a truly noble thing, and the other person has to respect that. And as others have said you can have a sex life without going all the way.
Sex isn't everything, there is so much more to a relationship than that.
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If you just aren't ready to give up your V-card then do him favors you know ;) couple handys and blow jobs will keep him happy. trust me I had a partner that didn't want to give it up but she didn't mind doing favors biggrin no man says no to favors..

But being serious all sex aside if he's the one for you then he will not mind waiting. if not then he's just a prick and you don't need him in your life.
Rookie Scribe
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Yes definitely.. Think of it this way the sex would be just insane when you finally are married obviously if the girl is a virgin not so much at first but after that you will be floating in the experience and still it's an interment experience that I'd rather have with my wife then a one night stand!
Advanced Wordsmith
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I couldn't wait till marriage before sleeping with a girlfriend. To me sex is a very important part of a relationship. What if you are not suited to each other?
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I could see that, I agree sex is important to a relationship, but they can survive without sex. Sometimes I think it could actually derail a relationship. They see everything there is to see too early, and then they end. So really, you can only go by this rule on a case by case basis, I think anyway.
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I waited for her and would do it again if I had to do it again.
Lurker
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If the guy really loves her, I believe that he should wait until she's ready - even if that means putting a diamond ring on her finger.
Sex isn't and shouldn't be the most important part of a relationship.
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Absolutely!!
Active Ink Slinger
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yes i would but that does not mean i wouldn't continuously try to change her mind or hurry her up
Rookie Scribe
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I would defiantly be a boyfriend like that i kept my virginity till i met my wife she is one of only two people i have had sex with and the other was in a threesome with her so yes i would i dont think it is right to try to force someome (NOT PHYSICALLY FORCE) but emotional force someone with beging and lies to get them to fuck if she wants to stay a virgin till marriage thats her choice and you should respect that choice.
Advanced Wordsmith
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I think 30 years ago you wouldn't have a problem finding someone who would, but in todays day and age I think you would be hard pressed to truly find someone who would. The days of waiting until marriage are behind us, and sex is something that people do because they want to fuck, or they love each other. Certainly the prior can grow to the latter. Nonetheless, most guys would say that they would wait, but eventually get fed up and tired of waiting.
And remember...good conversation leads to excellent sex

-Little Bambi
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Most certainly...companionship is creative and more inspiring