"I'm Not Allowed To..."

30 May 2012

Quote by sprite

umm... you should re-read that bit and see how funny it sounds - would you say you're easily offended? sorry, but i couldn't resist. *giggles and runs*

I still haven't been able to get through all the posts yet, but Great Neptune! This reminds me of a course I was once on. Sessions revolved around this conversation:

1: I find what you just said offensive.

2: I am offended you find me offensive! I'm not at all offensive!

1: You so are offensive, or I wouldn't be offended!

3: I can't believe you you have offended 1, that's so rude!

2: 3, I am utterly offended by you, 3! *flounces out and slams the door*

Next session:

2: I'm so sorry I walked out, 3. Something you said reminded me of my father when he once offended me, and I couldn't deal with it. I'm so sorry for offending you, 1. I never meant to.

1: You're a very offensive person, but it's why I like you.

3: I do not accept your apology, you clearly have many issues that you need to sort out before you come into the classroom, and until you do, I shall not be a part of this any more. *flounces out and slams the door*

Next session:

3: I'm so sorry I said those awful things to you, 2, and walked out. It was very rude of me, but I needed to calm down, and sort out some issues.

2: Please don't do it again, I have a walking-out-on-me complex and it makes it very difficult for me to function.

4: I can't believe how rude and dysfunctional you all are! This is terrible for my mental health and I'm on medication for it now! You're all rude, aggressive and self-centred! How dare you infringe on my mental well-being! *flounces out and slams the door*

I left that course. Best thing I ever did (no, I was not 4, I was 5, the one crying with laughter in the corner).

Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***

********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************

30 May 2012

Quote by sprite

umm... you should re-read that bit and see how funny it sounds - would you say you're easily offended? sorry, but i couldn't resist. *giggles and runs*

That was humor to make a point. clown

My latest story is too hot to publish. My most recent story before that is Even Stranger In Lust

30 May 2012

I have a question, what happens when is the Dom that mess up? i mean we are all humans and sometimes we make mistakes and in relationships sometimes you piss someone off and sometimes they piss you off.

So i guess my question is when you are in a 24/7 BDSM relationship and he or she (meaning the Dom Mistress) is the one that screws up, can you just go to them and yell and call them asshole or whatever you feel like telling them? can you punish your Dom for that? Or is it like in a normal relationship were you have a fight and are allowed to be angry at them and then you just move on? or do they just have to accept everything no matter what it is?

30 May 2012

Quote by latinfoxy
I have a question, what happens when is the Dom that mess up? i mean we are all humans and sometimes we make mistakes and in relationships sometimes you piss someone off and sometimes they piss you off.
one that screws up, can you just go to them and yell and call them asshole or whatever you feel like telling them? can you punish your Dom for that? Or is it like in a normal relationship were you have a fight and are allowed to be angry at them and then you just move on? or do they just have to accept everything no matter what it is?

oo. good one. mine usually admits it and apologizes and then lavishes extra attention on me. we don't get into fights or yelling matches, tho. i reserve those for my full time partner and sometimes Domme. honestly, i don't know how it is for those in 'the lifestyle' so i'm curious to hear about it too. i know that i myself aren't shy of making my displeasure known if i feel it is justified, but my case IS a little different. personally, i think that NO - you should NOT accept everything no matte what it is - if a Dom/me oversteps their bounds or messed up, it should be addressed. safe word should come out, and there should be a discussion at the very least - and it should be outside of the D/s bounds - sometimes you just DO have to let the emotions fly a bit. in the end, both Dom/me and sub ARE only human.

i'd be interested to hear the true 24/7's take on this, though smile

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

30 May 2012

Quote by sprite

safe word should come out, and there should be a discussion at the very least - and it should be outside of the D/s bounds - sometimes you just DO have to let the emotions fly a bit. in the end, both Dom/me and sub ARE only human.

My question is not about hard limits or things involved in the rules you have set up in the BDSM relationship, i mean it more in the normal day to day life, i dont know maybe they said they were gonna be there at certain time and they were late, or forgot to buy milk, or i dont know things like that.

30 May 2012

Quote by latinfoxy

My question is not about hard limits or things involved in the rules you have set up in the BDSM relationship, i mean it more in the normal day to day life, i dont know maybe they said they were gonna be there at certain time and they were late, or forgot to buy milk, or i dont know things like that.

*nods* got it. yeah, you'll have to ask the hard core people. like i said, my relationship with my woman leaves me completely open to griping when she forgets to buy ice cream or leaves the dishes for me or whatever. we have arguments just like anyone else and when she's wrong, she'll back down and apologize and sometimes i'll just be in a bad mood and pick a fight with her and we resolve is just like anyone else would - with lots of make up sex. smile

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

30 May 2012

Quote by sprite

*nods* got it. yeah, you'll have to ask the hard core people. like i said, my relationship with my woman leaves me completely open to griping when she forgets to buy ice cream or leaves the dishes for me or whatever. we have arguments just like anyone else and when she's wrong, she'll back down and apologize and sometimes i'll just be in a bad mood and pick a fight with her and we resolve is just like anyone else would - with lots of make up sex.

Exactly!! what happens then? and also you made me think of another question, what if you are just really in a bad mood, nothing to do with your Dom, you just waked up with a bitchy attitude and hormones are having a play day in your mind. Can you just say i dont feel like doing (insert things your dom says you have to do daily) because im in a bitchy mood?

30 May 2012

This has been an ummm interesting all rounder thread lol

What I have learnt from this, is that many should not claim they live or practice bdsm but rather say they practice kinky sex if they believe that there is no control factor involved. And I believe that anyone that has been in an previous abusive relationship should stay clear of bdsm if they are quick to call any control abuse or any need abuse. Also learnt that some are very confused if they are a sub or a dom. I have learnt that it is no wonder people are getting the wrong idea that subs are the true masters. I have learnt that we are not tolerant on different views, ideas and opinions and have learnt that we are giving the wrong impression and yes it does seem we are too sensitive.

30 May 2012

Quote by Latexìa
This has been an ummm interesting all rounder thread lol

What I have learnt from this, is that many should not claim they live or practice bdsm but rather say they practice kinky sex if they believe that there is no control factor involved. And I believe that anyone that has been in an previous abusive relationship should stay clear of bdsm if they are quick to call any control abuse or any need abuse. Also learnt that some are very confused if they are a sub or a dom. I have learnt that it is no wonder people are getting the wrong idea that subs are the true masters. I have learnt that we are not tolerant on different views, ideas and opinions and have learnt that we are giving the wrong impression and yes it does seem we are too sensitive.

Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***

********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************

30 May 2012

Agreed, very interesting and somewhat educational for me all the way through. I often note the short-fuse for defensiveness in this forum section, but I understand why to some extent. We all (well, most people, anyways) are a little bit defensive about something or other, and anything we hold dear that is so widely misunderstood will often qualify.

30 May 2012

Quote by LadyX
Agreed, very interesting and somewhat educational for me all the way through. I often note the short-fuse for defensiveness in this forum section, but I understand why to some extent. We're all (well, most people, anyways) are a little bit defensive about something or other, and anything we hold dear that is so widely misunderstood will often qualify.

Agreed. It is extremely difficult to post calmly when we believe we are either being attacked for something, misunderstood, or, in particular for me, if a person seems to be either unable, or unwilling to concede that we are different, and have different views. It's okay to have those different views, even if we don't like them (as long as they're legal!). But I feel we shouldn't (openly) judge others for being what we think is wrong in some way, unless we want to look a fool. I would love for people to be able to both express themselves without fear of being patronised or labelled by others, and to do the same for others. Sadly, Utopia is a long way off.

I like to understand people and try to see things from their point of view. I get very cross when others refuse to, even if they have every right to. Naughty! sunny

Many of the things I read on Lush have me cringing and WTFing and WTHIWWYing, but I try to keep that to myself, and attempt to understand. It's a learning curve. For everybody.

Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***

********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************

30 May 2012

EDIT: deleted me post. There always seems to be some kind of drama in this section.

30 May 2012

Not only do the BDSM people have a short fuse... They are completely delusional.

In real life, throughout history the woman has taken the submissive role, no matter what, but that doesn't mean they are being dominated. Have any of you heard the saying, "there a little bit of truth in every joke, or else it ain't funny"? You've heard that I'm sure. If you haven't, it's true by the way. Have you "masters" and subs ever heard a man refer to his princess as the boss? Oh wait let me ask the boss.. Etc.. It's because that beautiful girl runs that man wether he realizes or not. That's what impresses me the most about woman. They can be in charge and let you think you are.. Learn that shit young bloods. That woman is your real boss cause in the end of the day anything you do is to make her ultimately happy.

The sub takes on the traditional female role. Guess what.. That sub gets some demands going and we'll see how fast that master changes his/her tune.

Letexia... I swear to god... Keeps my sexy name out of your mouth... Unless you're a glutton for punishment, which makes sense considering the section of the forum... Like you do realize that every time you mention my name it's YOU who ends up with reddened cheeks and butthurt ass blogs... Maybe I'm the real master even though you're a mistress? Maybe you're searching for a real master... I'll make it hurt so good.

Anyway Letexia. The same things I have said about subs having the real power have been said by BDSM practitioners in this very forum section... But I guess the same words are okay from someone that you don't have a personal grudge with. What a joke...

Don't mention my name again.. Seriously unless you're looking to get mastered.

30 May 2012

Quote by Magical_felix
Not only do the BDSM people have a short fuse... They are completely delusional.

In real life, throughout history the woman has taken the submissive role, no matter what, but that doesn't mean they are being dominated. Have any of you heard the saying, "there a little bit of truth in every joke, or else it ain't funny"? You've heard that I'm sure. If you haven't, it's true by the way. Have you "masters" and subs ever heard a man refer to his princess as the boss? Oh wait let me ask the boss.. Etc.. It's because that beautiful girl runs that man wether he realizes or not. That's what impresses me the most about woman. They can be in charge and let you think you are.. Learn that shit young bloods. That woman is your real boss cause in the end of the day anything you do is to make her ultimately happy.

The sub takes on the traditional female role. Guess what.. That sub gets some demands going and we'll see how fast that master changes his/her tune.

Letexia... I swear to god... Keeps my sexy name out of your mouth... Unless you're a glutton for punishment, which makes sense considering the section of the forum... Like you do realize that every time you mention my name it's YOU who ends up with reddened cheeks and butthurt ass blogs... Maybe I'm the real master even though you're a mistress? Maybe you're searching for a real master... I'll make it hurt so good.

Anyway Letexia. The same things I have said about subs having the real power have been said by BDSM practitioners in this very forum section... But I guess the same words are okay from someone that you don't have a personal grudge with. What a joke...

Don't mention my name again.. Seriously unless you're looking to get mastered.

Can you two please take your squabble in private and stop ruining threads that people are trying to have a serious conversation in. This is getting very old.

30 May 2012

Quote by Ravyn

Can you two please take your squabble in private and stop ruining threads that people are trying to have a serious conversation in. This is getting very old.

Can you tell her to not mention me then? If she wants to bark and call me ignorant saying I don't understand things then be fair and muzzle her too... She can bark but I cant bite? If she wouldn't have mentioned me I wouldn't have responded.

If you're saying that she can mention me and I can't respond cause that's the "rule" fair enough.. But please let me know what the "rules of engagement" are.

Am I not allowed to respond if she mentions me?

30 May 2012

Quote by Magical_felix

Can you tell her to not mention me then? If she wants to bark and call me ignorant saying I don't understand things then be fair and muzzle her too... She can bark but I cant bite? If she wouldn't have mentioned me I wouldn't have responded.

If you're saying that she can mention me and I can't respond cause that's the "rule" fair enough.. But please let me know what the "rules of engagement" are.

Am I not allowed to respond if she mentions me?

I thought the "would you TWO" in my statement implied that it was directed at you both my apologies for not making that clearer. Agreed she should not have brought you into her statement and she still would have gotten her point across. I am simply asking that whatever issues you two have to please take it out of the forums and solve it there.

30 May 2012

Quote by Ravyn

I thought the "would you TWO" in my statement implied that it was directed at you both my apologies for not making that clearer. Agreed she should not have brought you into her statement and she still would have gotten her point across. I am simply asking that whatever issues you two have to please take it out of the forums and solve it there.

Fair enough.

As long as she gets it. I won't direct anything at her if she doesn't try to seek attention from me.

30 May 2012

So, from this one line

I have learnt that it is no wonder people like felix are getting the wrong idea that subs are the true masters.

which regular bdsm forum members will know that felix started two topics about that very discussion, which is the only reason why I used his name, it has been decided that instead of an example, I am causing trouble and get this

Quote by Magical_felix
Letexia... I swear to god... Keeps my sexy name out of your mouth... Unless you're a glutton for punishment, which makes sense considering the section of the forum... Like you do realize that every time you mention my name it's YOU who ends up with reddened cheeks and butthurt ass blogs... Maybe I'm the real master even though you're a mistress? Maybe you're searching for a real master... I'll make it hurt so good.

Anyway Letexia. The same things I have said about subs having the real power have been said by BDSM practitioners in this very forum section... But I guess the same words are okay from someone that you don't have a personal grudge with. What a joke...

Don't mention my name again.. Seriously unless you're looking to get mastered.

Wow ????

That is just as bad as being told that I am part of this 'SQUABBLE'

Quote by Ravyn
Can you two please take your squabble in private and stop ruining threads that people are trying to have a serious conversation in. This is getting very old.

and that I have ruined this thread, for OMG, mentioning his name in an example. Maybe we should remove the quotes altogether if we are going to made to look bad from members and moderators for mentioning a goddamn name with no ill intentions, just a name only used in an example.

No, what is getting old that noone can have an opinion or just mention a name without being accused of starting imaginary drama.

I really didn't know it was the new forum rules not to mention Felix's name or for me to post dontknow

oh felix, the statement about 'I'll make it hurt so good', knowing your very public dislike of me, some could consider it a threat.

31 May 2012

Quote by Latexìa
So, from this one line

which regular bdsm forum members will know that felix started two topics about that very discussion, which is the only reason why I used his name, it has been decided that instead of an example, I am causing trouble and get this

and that I have ruined this thread, for OMG, mentioning his name in an example. Maybe we should remove the quotes altogether if we are going to made to look bad from members and moderators for mentioning a goddamn name with no ill intentions, just a name only used in an example.

My point was that you could have made your point just fine without mentioning anyone in particular much less the person you don't seem to get along with. You knew he would not let it go without a response.

31 May 2012

Anyone who has been married or been in a relationship for a few years will understand that you will NEVER understand another couples marriage/relationship. It's just not yours to understand. It's theirs. It's as personal as it gets.

We all set boundaries in our relationships either by verbal agreement or simple understanding of the other person over time. We can sit here and pontificate about it and try to rationalize it to ourselves so that their preferences don't threaten us or make us uncomfortable but you will get different answers as to what it means to them every time you ask a different couple. Maybe this is all very obvious.

31 May 2012

well I usually follow my mistress's rules. I occasionally do fuck up and when I do I get my ass beat. If she goes overboard she will feel guilty and apologise.
I am allowed to talk to family and friends outside of the lifestyle. But as far as playing I can only play with my owner and on her terms obviously. Like I can only drink one 20 ounce bottle of pop. If I sneak I get my ass beat. (Ofcourse I love the fact my mistress/owner comes up with new ways to beat the shit out of me)

1 Jun 2012

Quote by Beck
well I usually follow my mistress's rules. I occasionally do fuck up and when I do I get my ass beat. If she goes overboard she will feel guilty and apologise.
I am allowed to talk to family and friends outside of the lifestyle. But as far as playing I can only play with my owner and on her terms obviously. Like I can only drink one 20 ounce bottle of pop. If I sneak I get my ass beat. (Ofcourse I love the fact my mistress/owner comes up with new ways to beat the shit out of me)

Shakes head

I am really disappointed in this statement, a BDSM relationship or a BDSM "kink" has NOTHING to do with beating the shit out of someone. If pain needs to be used as a form of punishment fine. But beating the shit out of someone is a chargeable offence and the police should be called in to arrest the abuser, plain and simple.

The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

[URL=http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-night-that-changed-my-life-1.aspx][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WPPsy.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

1 Jun 2012

Quote by Dudealicious

Shakes head

I am really disappointed in this statement, a BDSM relationship or a BDSM "kink" has NOTHING to do with beating the shit out of someone. If pain needs to be used as a form of punishment fine. But beating the shit out of someone is a chargeable offence and the police should be called in to arrest the abuser, plain and simple.

*nods* i was about to chime in saying pretty much the same thing. this isn't a relationship, this is abuse. i've been there and there's no doubt in my head. honestly, if what you say is true, i'd get out before it goes one step too far and you end up seriously hurt, both physically and emotionally.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

1 Jun 2012

adendum: it's easy to apologize after the fact - truth is, you keep forgiving them, and they might even be sincere, but from my own experience, that apology means nothing. it took a stint in the ICU for me to finally wise up - don't let it go that far. is you're getting beat up because your Mistress cant control her anger, what happens when she REALLY loses it? don't wait around to find out.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

1 Jun 2012

Quote by sprite

*nods* i was about to chime in saying pretty much the same thing. this isn't a relationship, this is abuse. i've been there and there's no doubt in my head. honestly, if what you say is true, i'd get out before it goes one step too far and you end up seriously hurt, both physically and emotionally.

1 Jun 2012

Quote by Dudealicious

Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***

********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************

1 Jun 2012

Quote by sprite
adendum: it's easy to apologize after the fact - truth is, you keep forgiving them, and they might even be sincere, but from my own experience, that apology means nothing. it took a stint in the ICU for me to finally wise up - don't let it go that far. is you're getting beat up because your Mistress cant control her anger, what happens when she REALLY loses it? don't wait around to find out.

Just to add to this that it gets easier to forgive them the more you do it, until you stop thinking and you automatically say the words, 'It's ok.'

1 Jun 2012

There have to be rules.

I don't have an online master or mistress, but if I did I would expect there to be rules, and I'd expect to be punished if I didn't follow them.

A BDSM relationship isn't the same thing as an abusive relationship. Where do people get ideas like that? My relationship is as loving as any vanilla relationship, and maybe more so. It's a consensual relationship. If I didn't like it I wouldn't be doing it. Part of the attraction for me is the total surrender of myself to another. It requires trust. Control is about trust too.

No two relationships are ever exactly the same.

[url]http://[/url]

1 Jun 2012

Quote by CoopsRuthie
There have to be rules.

I don't have an online master or mistress, but if I did I would expect there to be rules, and I'd expect to be punished if I didn't follow them.

A BDSM relationship isn't the same thing as an abusive relationship. Where do people get ideas like that? My relationship is as loving as any vanilla relationship, and maybe more so. It's a consensual relationship. If I didn't like it I wouldn't be doing it. Part of the attraction for me is the total surrender of myself to another. It requires trust. Control is about trust too.

No two relationships are ever exactly the same.

it's abusive when the one who is supposed to be in control regularly loses her temper and quote, unquote, beats the shit out of their sub. that's not bdsm. that's abuse, pure and simple. it's not ok, and it's not healthy, and it's certainly not a good example of what a real bdsm relationship is all about - we're trying to dispel the misinformation about bdsm here, not propagate it. if my Mistress ever lost her temper and beat the shit out of me for an infraction, i'd leave her, after kicking her ass. punishment is one thing. seriously injuring me is another. i give my consent to one, not to the other.

btw, she would never do that, so it's theoretical point. i know that for a fact. it's called trust and she's earned it. smile

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

3 Jun 2012

Quote by sprite

it's abusive when the one who is supposed to be in control regularly loses her temper and quote, unquote, beats the shit out of their sub. that's not bdsm. that's abuse, pure and simple. it's not ok, and it's not healthy, and it's certainly not a good example of what a real bdsm relationship is all about - we're trying to dispel the misinformation about bdsm here, not propagate it. if my Mistress ever lost her temper and beat the shit out of me for an infraction, i'd leave her, after kicking her ass. punishment is one thing. seriously injuring me is another. i give my consent to one, not to the other.

btw, she would never do that, so it's theoretical point. i know that for a fact. it's called trust and she's earned it.

I agree with you. That kind of relationship shouldn't be called a BDSM relationship though, it should be called an abusive relationship. The abuser just calls it a BDSM relationship to provide cover for the abuse.

Nobody should stay in an abusive relationship, they're too dangerous.

[url]http://[/url]