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Can you be in love with two people at the same time?

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Rookie Scribe
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Do you think it's possible to love or be in love with two people at the same time?
Lurker
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Quote by butterfly_love
Do you think it's possible to love or be in love with two people at the same time?

Is it LOVE. or LUST??
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by butterfly_love
Do you think it's possible to love or be in love with two people at the same time?

I don't think I could.
That doesn't mean that everybody is the same.
Lurker
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It really depends on your definition of 'In Love'...

For me, 'in love' would imply an exclusivity, so I'd say I could only be In Love with one person... But you can certainly love more than one person at once. I get the impression that you may be seeking justification for feelings of genuine fondness combined with a natural lust... That too is quite natural, but it can be dangerous if you are committed to another person.

At the risk of sounding shallow and venal, (and I can be both those things...) just go for it... What's the worst that can happen?

Laughs!

xx SF
Rainbow Warrior
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I guarantee you that it's possible for some. Its not that we don't know what real love is. I was in love with 2 people for nearly 8 years. I still am, but she fell in love with someone who doesn't believe in polyamory.
Lurker
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I have loved more than one guy at the same time.

Lurker
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It is very possible for that to happen. I've never been in this situation and couldn't imagine being in it either. Whenever i'm in a relationship i put all my attention to the woman im with.
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You may love many people at one time and might even find yourself attracted and feel as though you're in love with more than one person at a time.
The thing I've learned is that we are attracted to others for reasons and seasons and it's our job to discern and ascertain the why and wherefores. If we would ask just one more question we might find that they were a life lesson not a love match, but our lazy attitudes and often desperate hearts will allow us to stop before we decipher the reason someone is in our life.
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Yes, I believe so. I have not experienced it, but I don't see why not!
Active Ink Slinger
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Yes I think it is quite possible.
Lurker
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Quote by BethanyFrasier
I guarantee you that it's possible for some. Its not that we don't know what real love is. I was in love with 2 people for nearly 8 years. I still am, but she fell in love with someone who doesn't believe in polyamory.


Polyamory - yes...that is what we are talking about here. Western culture is large centered on monogamy, yet, so many find ways to circumvent this focus. Why?

I have been married, most always very happily. At the same time, I have enjoyed many mostly platonic relationships with other women that I would find I had deep feelings for. I may be weird...???...!!!...???...!!!
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Quote by CaramelMochagoddess
You may love many people at one time and might even find yourself attracted and feel as though you're in love with more than one person at a time.
The thing I've learned is that we are attracted to others for reasons and seasons and it's our job to discern and ascertain the why and wherefores. If we would ask just one more question we might find that they were a life lesson not a love match, but our lazy attitudes and often desperate hearts will allow us to stop before we decipher the reason someone is in our life.


For a First Post that's pretty fucking impressive...

xx Steph
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Yes I believe you can be in love with 2 people at a time.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by stephanie


For a First Post that's pretty fucking impressive...

xx Steph


I will second this admiration. I think that "in love with" can imply either a deeply reciprocated and explored relationship or the expectation of the same. If you have not very carefully explored the depths of your relationship with one of the people with whom you are in love, then it is possible that you very much and very authentically expect that you are truly compatible with both. And for that situation, I actually believe that it's possible for a person to be a very-close-to-perfect match with more than one person. If those two are also matches for each other, then I think it's even possible for 3 people to truly be in love with each other.

But I think that's very rare. More likely this is a case where there are two people who are providing aspects of connection that you need at this time, and I would advise honesty and openness toward both parties over any other values. My guess is that if either of them balks at the very thought, then they're in fact not all of what you need at this time in your life.

Last comment... to experience the feeling of being "in love" with two at once is in itself a treasure. Value it as such.
Active Ink Slinger
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"In love" can mean anything to anyone. Deep admiration and care...enjoyment of being in their company...it can be confusing, but totally possible.

However, there is a thin line between "LUST" and "LOVE."


Advanced Wordsmith
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Hey! I'm really glad your posting about this, because there is a quote from someone that I would love to share:

"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn't have fallen for the second." - Johnny Depp

Now, I'm no love expert and Johnny Depp is certainly not one either. But when I first read this, I thought it was a mighty clever way of looking at it. Its all about perspective. If you love two people, then there must be a reason WHY you love both of them. One should be enough, but it isn't. That may mean that one of them isn't giving you all that you need, so you have the 2nd to fulfill those needs. There are a lot of ways of looking at this. It is completely possible to love two people at the same time. But I don't think it is possible to be IN love with 2 people at the same time. There can only be one "the one."
Active Ink Slinger
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It depends on the people and what you think love is. Someone can love a lot of people but only be in love with one person. It does not make you a bad person for your feelings. Just be truthful and tell everyone how you feel. Nothing worst then being in love with someone who really wants to be with someone else or who is madly in love with someone but only using you as a second choice
Have lots of fun
Active Ink Slinger
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I would say nothing is impossible. However I believe it is unlikely, What would be more likely is in love with 1 in lust with the other. Or in lust with both. In love with both, like I said unlikely.
Lurker
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I think it depends on how you define love and every individual has his own definition. I believe love happens only once.
Active Ink Slinger
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Love is a strange word. The dictionary has many meanings.
I have often told somebody I loved 'That" following a good sex workout.
I have told others I "loved" them while enjoying sex with them. The love lasts as long as the union does, and during the post orgasmic phase in my case.
I have a number of FWB and I "love" each one in a casual sense.
To commit myself to another and be faithful to them I cannot do. If one does it could be considered being (in) "love" considering the popular conception of the word..
So the answer in my case would be "yes".
Bonnet Flaunter
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We are all complex creatures with different facets to our personalities, so its not necessarily surprising to find different people that appeal to us equally for different reasons.
Bonnet Flaunter
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ooops! Used the word "different" 3 times in the same sentence!!! *slaps hand*
Active Ink Slinger
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In a threesome, definitely!
Clumeleon
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Active Ink Slinger
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Yes and it can be pretty awesome and ugly at the same time...but yes
Lurker
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A very obvious example of having two lovers was the movie *savages* in my opinion. When i was analyzing that movie,(yes i often do that) i figured that the girl was not fully satisfied by only one male. She needed rough sex from one. and sensual sex from the other.

FOR me, i think if i ever fall for more then one guy, it would only mean that I am not satisfied either physically or emotionally. The result would be to break up with BOTH of them right away.. unless i figure out who i prefer to keep as a friend in case..

the reason i will break up with both, is because if i was satisfied by the first one, i wouldn't had been effected by the second. and if even after being with the second lover, i still seek love from the first one, then i am not satisfied emotionally via both. and it can result in depression and other problems
Lurker
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I'm not sure I could. I loved my husband deeply but I was once very infatuated with another at the same time.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by intellect
A very obvious example of having two lovers was the movie *savages* in my opinion. When i was analyzing that movie,(yes i often do that) i figured that the girl was not fully satisfied by only one male. She needed rough sex from one. and sensual sex from the other.

FOR me, i think if i ever fall for more then one guy, it would only mean that I am not satisfied either physically or emotionally. The result would be to break up with BOTH of them right away.. unless i figure out who i prefer to keep as a friend in case..

the reason i will break up with both, is because if i was satisfied by the first one, i wouldn't had been effected by the second. and if even after being with the second lover, i still seek love from the first one, then i am not satisfied emotionally via both. and it can result in depression and other problems

What about finding the physicality with one and the emotion with the other? You may never find both with the same person.
I think a lot of bisexual people find this dilemma. The emotion with the opposite sex and the physicality with the same sex.
Active Ink Slinger
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I believe that you can be in love with more than one person at a time, it's not something I could or would be able to do, If I fall in love with someone then I'm theirs heart,body and soul.
Active Ink Slinger
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Yes you most certainly can. It comes with its own struggles and can be wonderful at times and extremely hard and lonely at others. I have been very confused and it was hard coming to the realization that I do in fact love two people.

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Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss.
F. Scott Fitzgerald