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What's the difference between a preference and a fetish?

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BelleduJour
Active Ink Slinger
This topic came up in conversation with a friend and I was curious what Lushies think is the difference between having a preference for something and calling it a fetish? What's the marker that turns it into one and not the other? Or maybe they're the same?
RikkiSue
Active Ink Slinger
I suspect something moves from preference to fetish when there is a sense of compulsion that goes with it
hopp3r
Active Ink Slinger
A fetish could possibly be called a preference that isn’t held by the majority. The majority of men (straight men, at least) like tits. The majority of men aren’t that interested in feet, although plenty are.

I can’t think of a good tagline so this will have to do. Suggest a better one for me?
jaded_buddha
Advanced Wordsmith
I thought it was a fetish when the arousal or attraction was to something that wasn't inherently sexual. Genitals, breasts, etc., are inherently sexual. Feet, shoes, underwear are not inherently sexual.

And I think preference just has to do with degrees. "I prefer redheads, but blondes or brunettes are great, too," is obviously a preference. But "I can only get off on redheads," points more toward fetish.

Could be wrong, though.

“Writing is a socially acceptable form of getting naked in public.” -Paulo Coelho
Guest
Lurker
I have a fetish. It could be a preference, but when I'm involved in sex, I'm driven to feeding it, almost beast mode, so it's definitely a fetish!
GMOFLEISURE
Active Ink Slinger
I defined a sexual fetish as a body part, object, act, or anything that leads to intense arousal & usually orgasm. ie: Some couples invite me as a bi male to join them, because the female half of the team become aroused seeing two men engaging in sex acts. At some point they'll seek orgasm though penetration by one or both of us males, or mastrubate while watching us. Thats her fetish. The male half may have a fetish for oral or for anal sex.

Some women have a fetish for dark-skinned men with large penises. The BBC thing. Its a fetish.

Others are thrilled by and prefer to get their orgasm swapping spouses.

While I enjoy threesomes, my serious thrill is larger groups in a extended party/orgy session. Hours to chat between bouts of sex, or sessions on a massage table. Thats my fetish.
Beffer
Rainbow Warrior
Technically, a fetish involves a sexual fixation on a non-sexual (inherently) object or body part, like women's shoes or feet. A preference can be anything, fetish or not.
GrushaVashnadze
Active Ink Slinger

Really interesting discussion. I think Morgan Hawke has it right:

Fetish ISN'T Kink.

A Kink is something that makes sex exciting, also known as Slap & Tickle. No matter how many whips and chains are used, no matter how much blood is spilled carving your name into someone's back, Kink is a form of sexual Play, pure and simple.

A Fetish ISN'T Play. A Fetish is a very personal, very individual, and a very private APPETITE.


Someone with a Fetish for women's feet, or boots, or uniforms, or bondage gear doesn't need to have sex with those in such garb. Observing the wearer, touching the objects, smelling the material, hearing the sounds associated with them, and sometimes even tasting them is more than enough to completely satisfy a Fetishist.

On the other hand, someone with a Kink for women's feet, or boots, or uniforms, or leather bondage gear DOES want to fuck those in such garb.

In short:
~ A Kink is when you use a feather to cum.
~ A Fetish is when Touching the feather will make you cum.

Leather does little for me, nor feathers. However, here's a story about one of my favourite fetishes:

A Dirty Filthy Fucking Smoking Trash Cunt Whore

And here's one by my friend Violet, about hers:

100 Wet and Messy Words: Natto

GrushaVashnadze's best stories:
Alison Goes to London (RR) - “A unique - and uniquely filthy - work of the imagination... Consider me sold.” (Jaymal)
The Cursed Cunt (RR) - "holyyyyy sheeeiiit.... Your writing is fucking fantastic" (CarltonStJames)
Snow White and the Seven Dildos (RR) - “Absurd genius… Brilliant.” (StarBelliedBoy)
Metamorphoses (RR) - “Your cultured filth is such a treat and the craft in this is sublime.” (CuriousAnnie)
And the rest are here.