Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login

Project Semi Colon: Lush Style

last reply
1.5k replies
106k views
3 watchers
92 likes
Simmerdownchick
Creator
Quote by MostPreciousLittle


I'm so sorry, honey. I wish there was a switch to turn on and you'd automatically feel better. You are precious and loved, sweet Sprite.

I don't even want to say happy birthday to you. Not if it makes you feel worse. But sending good vibes and love your way.


Hi Margo, I tried emailing you but you have me blocked. After seeing the horrible person weaving dreams is, if I have to choose (I want to choose) you. I hope that if I offended you you'll let me know smile
Cheers heart SDC

I have three famous stories, 2 recommended reads and have come in the top ten in two competitions~ Come in and make yourself at home.
Simmerdownchick
Creator
Quote by Green_Man
I don't want to intrude but I just would really like to say;
Black Lives Matter
Women's Lives Matter
LGBTQ Lives Matter
Survivors Lives Matter

And fuck my male white privilege. Power to the people.


White male lives matte, too heart

To quote Sprite "Love not hate"

I have three famous stories, 2 recommended reads and have come in the top ten in two competitions~ Come in and make yourself at home.
Simmerdownchick
Creator
Quote by TheAngryishLover


Firstly, that's what alcohol is for.....

Secondly, I have the opposite problem. I know I don't talk as much as I should, or share as much as I could. But I don't think my family have any idea what it is what I'm going through. It's more isolating, than sobering.



((((HUGS)))) that's why We're here

I have three famous stories, 2 recommended reads and have come in the top ten in two competitions~ Come in and make yourself at home.
Myamibi
Active Ink Slinger
I've just got 10 counselling appointments through an women's agency. I get tired of going over my story, but I am going to try again. I am strongly resisting meds, but as I seem to cry at the drop of a hat, I wonder if I should.
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
Quote by Simmerdownchick



I guess there is always someone who's suffered more. My abuse ended at 14, but I build it a long time. I still have blank spots in my memories. Ah to have the eternal sunshine off a peaceful mind...
Still, night time sucks. I never knew the extent of your violation and betrayal. I mean, I just didn't put it all together before. If I had a daughter, she'd be inTai Kwan Doe (sp?) for sure. I'm okay, but I often wonder who Lynda would be if she'd have been shown love and been nutured...
That's it..I want a clone!
Too everyone that has suffered in shame. We are not alone. Together we are a force to be reckoned with!


i don't know, i think Lynda's pretty awesome as she is - that's a lot of shit to go through, and yet, here you are and you kind of rock. that said, yeah, the what ifs again, right? i get them too - how would my life have turned out differently? thing is, there is no answer, so i'm just going with 'my life is pretty awesome as it is, with the slight and occasional hiccup'. smile doing better today, mostly it's about keeping busy.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
Quote by Myamibi
I've just got 10 counselling appointments through an women's agency. I get tired of going over my story, but I am going to try again. I am strongly resisting meds, but as I seem to cry at the drop of a hat, I wonder if I should.


i have done meds a few times in my life, and done them until i felt strong enough to quit, and quit. treat them like a bandaid - when you're bleeding, you need them. when it's healed a bit, you can think about easy off them. i hate them, honestly, but at times, they keep me 'sane'. *hugs*

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
Quote by kiera
Rachel makes me smile biggrin



Henry Cavill makes me smile too....just sayin


not in the same way, i bet ;)

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
violetcrumble
Active Ink Slinger
This is a bit of a book so be warned XD

Although a bit late to the scene, I have been following this thread for a while. I think it's great that such a project such as project semi colon has occurred. One of the things I really like about it, and what stands out for me, is the fact that it’s a symbol, and one that can be seen in public, is noticeable. Lots of us out there have difficulty talking, expressing ourselves, and because of it, often, it’s very easy for us to see ourselves as alone in the world. But with this, even if you're not talking, or expressing what you've gone through, the shit you're dealing with, if you pass by someone and catch that tattoo, a symbol of so much, it’s a reminder, you're not alone in the world, and perhaps, since this person has been through a lot, you might have the courage, feel comfortable enough to talk with them. I know, that’s true for myself. if I know someone’s gone through shit, like me, I feel more safe, secure to talk of my own struggles, difficulties. The other important thing about it, is but by looking down, seeing that symbol it’s a direct link to the thought of pushing on. It works on a neurological level, many things have this effect like seeing a yellow smiley face and feeling happy, even if ever so slight, but this is the first ever one I've seen in relation to suicide. It’s truly so simple, but so amazing and exceptional.

Now, expanding from there, I guess, I’ll speak a little more, on the good and the bad, and a little of myself, how it all relates to me. Not on this particular project, but people’s mental struggles in general, and what’s going on within society in general; though I can only speak from my experience, perspective, form my city, my state, my country; Australia.

As I said, I can only applaud project semi colon, everything thing it does, but it is only one project, only reaches one fraction of the people who need things like it. It’s a project from the roots; from the bottom up, however there needs to be more, going along the same metaphor, it needs to come from the canopy too, both working together.

In my experience, the most difficult thing is talking. There seems to be this perception that if you talk, reveal what lies behind the veneer of perfection that is expected to be put on you will be prosecuted by society. I generally tend to believe that its true. I think this comes from the notion of the “hard, rough, rugged, strong Aussie battler.” Although Australia supposedly has a good public health system that supports those who otherwise couldn’t in society, most of the homeless I see are there because of mental illness. They can’t find work, or are given an opportunity because they’re fragile or unstable. I myself would be in that boat, luckily my boss is a family friend (well, friends of the people who I call family, and are more family to me than anyone else) and supports me, nourishes me, gives me time of when I need it, hasn’t fired me because he listens, understands. Like I said, this notion of talking… admission of pain, struggles, an inability to cope is considered inherently wrong. So people just don’t. They keep it all within until they explode. Even admitting you have a psychologist effects your chances of success greatly. This is just oh so wrong. However, things are changing, albeit ever so slow. Although I still hear things along the lines of “you shouldn’t speak of such things” or “just toughen up, put on a smile, pretend you’re happy” progress has been made. Just last year, a prominent figure in society, a sporting star, came out, and not only admitted his depression, but the sporting team he played for supported him. He didn’t lose his job, now recovered, he still plays. This is a good start, the first time I’ve ever seen it happen, from the top down so to say. This alongside projects like semi colon, or even opportunities like this forum here, created by Sprite, to talk on such matters, have a safe place to express are also oh so important. So thank you Sprite, for initiating this, having the courage to speak a little on your own difficulties.


Now the other problem I see, and one that goes hand in hand with the first, is once you start speaking, a lot of things are revealed, and you yourself can kind of diminish your problem. Think it’s nothing compared to what others are going through. This sounds really true to me. Often I’ve been brushed of when I’ve tried to speak, express, I’ve heard things like “you’re just emotional…Weak” and been told to “just get over it.” After hearing it so often, from so many people as well as knowing the things others have gone through, I can’t help but to begin to believe it’s true. After all, others have dealt with so much, and they seem to be coping fine. Whereas me..me…I’ve never been , or physically abused, yet….yet at times I can’t even get out of bed, or need to self-medicate with things such as e or oxy just to numb the pain. I constantly fall in and out of depression, are so insecure, anxious in crowds, around people that I have very few friends. But why should I? after all, my issues pale compared to others. All that’s happened to me was being exiled from all of my family, due to my mother’s opinion of me, my personality…sexuality, got cheated on by a guy who I loved with all of my heart, every fibre of my being, his reason being; if you were prettier, I wouldn’t of had to and finally, after becoming another’s world, their sole dependence in life, being told by them that this is their final goodbye, that they can't...couldn’t anymore, and I unable to do anything about it, not even get a response…to find out hours later that she had killed herself. So yeah, idk, I still feel so stupid, and weak for not being able to cope, deal, and that’s a product of society, or me myself. Anyways, the point of all that is that, even when talking happens, there needs to be a fundamental understanding that the struggles that one is going through is as real to them as anything else. Not that one thing is more than another, because our perception is our perception, it isn’t either or, it just is.

Brining this to a close, thanks Rachel, for starting something such as this forum on Lush. My heart goes out to you, and I admire any and all who try to make a difference, be it an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, brining things to light, starting a project, or attempting to change the perception of society. Everything big and small makes a difference.
Myamibi
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by sprite


i have done meds a few times in my life, and done them until i felt strong enough to quit, and quit. treat them like a bandaid - when you're bleeding, you need them. when it's healed a bit, you can think about easy off them. i hate them, honestly, but at times, they keep me 'sane'. *hugs*


Thank you. I needed that hug.
patokl
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by kiera
YES
A little kindness can be so valuable, yet costs almost nothing

In many countries being gay is a crime, and even in modern societies, politicians try to legalise discrimination. Your voice can make a difference. Have a look at All Out to find out how.

Hey... pssst.... that's an l (as in luscious) at the end of my name, not an i
Simmerdownchick
Creator
Quote by sprite


i don't know, i think Lynda's pretty awesome as she is - that's a lot of shit to go through, and yet, here you are and you kind of rock. that said, yeah, the what ifs again, right? i get them too - how would my life have turned out differently? thing is, there is no answer, so i'm just going with 'my life is pretty awesome as it is, with the slight and occasional hiccup'. smile doing better today, mostly it's about keeping busy.




I have three famous stories, 2 recommended reads and have come in the top ten in two competitions~ Come in and make yourself at home.
Guest
Lurker
It's hard for me to feel safe these days. Trump reminds me of my abuser, dressing me up in inappropriate clothing when I was a child.
His behavior is like my childhood abuser's. I haven't gotten justice yet for myself or my sibling. Or the other victims.

Children aren't objects.

I can't wait for this election to get over.

I had three different abusers in my childhood. One left after almost a decade and the other took their place. Not in the same way, but worse for me.

That I can remember for certain, all in my immediate family.
Guest
Lurker
I feel safer. And I have a beautiful guardian angel to watch over me and keep me safe.

I'm hoping for the day my abuser, the main and worst one, gets justice, comes soon.

(I have a few angels, including my cat. Thanks for keeping me safe and feeling sane. Love you all.)
Unknown User
On Friday I had a minor car accident - minor as in no injuries but there is some extensive car damage. At the time I had a meltdown. I couldn't stop crying an hyperventilating for ages. I spent thrree hours in the carpark before eventually chugging my way home the whole while stuck in a loop of wishing it had have actually been fatal so I could stop feeling like a fucking failure. I'm proud to say I did not open a bottle of alcohol that night despite how much I could have drunk the lot and more and never wanted to wake up. I've since also increased my dose of fluoxetine. Yay.

Today I got my first quote on the (yes uninsured) car which is in excess of $5k and I'm just dying. Although I should have cancelled my appointment to save every penny with everything that is going on I am kind of glad I didn't.

Today


My story is not over.

And some metaphor for flight.

Thanks Kiera for posting the butterfly idea... its what got my A into G and convinced me to get it.
Sending love to all.
Guest
Lurker
Quote by sweetsinner
On Friday I had a minor car accident - minor as in no injuries but there is some extensive car damage. At the time I had a meltdown. I couldn't stop crying an hyperventilating for ages. I spent thrree hours in the carpark before eventually chugging my way home the whole while stuck in a loop of wishing it had have actually been fatal so I could stop feeling like a fucking failure. I'm proud to say I did not open a bottle of alcohol that night despite how much I could have drunk the lot and more and never wanted to wake up. I've since also increased my dose of fluoxetine. Yay.

Today I got my first quote on the (yes uninsured) car which is in excess of $5k and I'm just dying. Although I should have cancelled my appointment to save every penny with everything that is going on I am kind of glad I didn't.

Today


My story is not over.

And some metaphor for flight.

Thanks Kiera for posting the butterfly idea... its what got my A into G and convinced me to get it.
Sending love to all.


I'm glad that you're ok. I'm sorry you got into an accident. I hope things get better soon for you.
I don't know you at all, but know that you're not a failure. You can friend me and lean on me for support.
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
Quote by sweetsinner
On Friday I had a minor car accident - minor as in no injuries but there is some extensive car damage. At the time I had a meltdown. I couldn't stop crying an hyperventilating for ages. I spent thrree hours in the carpark before eventually chugging my way home the whole while stuck in a loop of wishing it had have actually been fatal so I could stop feeling like a fucking failure. I'm proud to say I did not open a bottle of alcohol that night despite how much I could have drunk the lot and more and never wanted to wake up. I've since also increased my dose of fluoxetine. Yay.

Today I got my first quote on the (yes uninsured) car which is in excess of $5k and I'm just dying. Although I should have cancelled my appointment to save every penny with everything that is going on I am kind of glad I didn't.

Today


My story is not over.

And some metaphor for flight.

Thanks Kiera for posting the butterfly idea... its what got my A into G and convinced me to get it.
Sending love to all.


awesome story (not the car being totaled part, but how you handled it) and awesome tat! i am kind of jealous, now. might be time to get inked for the first time... smile *hugs* love you, girl - you inspire me. :)

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
HeraTeleia
Top Shot
Quote by sweetsinner
On Friday I had a minor car accident - minor as in no injuries but there is some extensive car damage. At the time I had a meltdown. I couldn't stop crying an hyperventilating for ages. I spent thrree hours in the carpark before eventually chugging my way home the whole while stuck in a loop of wishing it had have actually been fatal so I could stop feeling like a fucking failure. I'm proud to say I did not open a bottle of alcohol that night despite how much I could have drunk the lot and more and never wanted to wake up. I've since also increased my dose of fluoxetine. Yay.

Today I got my first quote on the (yes uninsured) car which is in excess of $5k and I'm just dying. Although I should have cancelled my appointment to save every penny with everything that is going on I am kind of glad I didn't.

Today


My story is not over.

And some metaphor for flight.

Thanks Kiera for posting the butterfly idea... its what got my A into G and convinced me to get it.

Sending love to all.


As R. said, good on you for handling it well. Good on you also for recognising that you are in a time of crisis and for having your fluoxetine upped.

And G-d willing, some day, there will be broader understanding of mental health disorders. No one tells a family member with a broken arm to "get over it". The arm is casted and repaired, but the bone always bear the signs of having been broken. Same for those of us with mental health issues--we can be repaired, we can heal, but the scars are always there (or are, as it is in the case of depressive disorders, kept healed through medication and competent psychological care.

I like this:

Quote by MostPreciousLittle
Want to spend some time wallowing in a Recommended Read? Pick one! Or two! Or seven!
Guest
Lurker
Couple looking for big one to Jo with us in hr
TonyaL
Snake Charmera
I had to go for a Mental evaluation last week at the VA. This had to be one of the hardest days I've had in awhile. It has taken me this long to truly come to terms with the feelings I was having then. Rehashing everything again to a complete stranger explaining the day i took the pills what led up to it, what happened after. I was that young woman again. Scared and uncertain needing to feel something and sleep peacefully. Remembering how my peers had to spend their free time watching over me. All of this was just hard. The drive home was difficult. my husband thought I just was playing on my phone when all I was doing was expelling nervous energy. I couldn't stop I didn't want to think. Getting home and trying to be normal was not easy. I didn't want anyone to know what was going on in my head. I also was afraid to sleep. So afraid to see it all again. Does it ever go away? Will I ever be at peace within myself? Wilk i ever be normal? My poor son i blew up at him for no reason really. Then the scrutiny of my husband watching every move i made. I jusy want to be free and i dont know if i ever will be. Will any of us? Sorry I just needed to get this out tonight for some reason and I knew I could ramble here and you all would understand.

My Anti-Valentine Entry 💔

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/cheating/a-valentines-date-to-remember

My first EP and a top ten from the Pride Competition
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/lesbian/-love-is-love-.aspx

Hanging in the background but around
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
Quote by TonyaL
I had to go for a Mental evaluation last week at the VA. This had to be one of the hardest days I've had in awhile. It has taken me this long to truly come to terms with the feelings I was having then. Rehashing everything again to a complete stranger explaining the day i took the pills what led up to it, what happened after. I was that young woman again. Scared and uncertain needing to feel something and sleep peacefully. Remembering how my peers had to spend their free time watching over me. All of this was just hard. The drive home was difficult. my husband thought I just was playing on my phone when all I was doing was expelling nervous energy. I couldn't stop I didn't want to think. Getting home and trying to be normal was not easy. I didn't want anyone to know what was going on in my head. I also was afraid to sleep. So afraid to see it all again. Does it ever go away? Will I ever be at peace within myself? Wilk i ever be normal? My poor son i blew up at him for no reason really. Then the scrutiny of my husband watching every move i made. I jusy want to be free and i dont know if i ever will be. Will any of us? Sorry I just needed to get this out tonight for some reason and I knew I could ramble here and you all would understand.


it does get better, but, in my experience, it's in small increments and it's hard to chart if you look at it in weeks or months. years, though, yeah, it does eventually become more of a background noise. for a long time i didn't sleep much. same thing. didn't want to be in that place that sleep brought, and yes, i'm writing this at 3am lol - i still have those nights, but it used to be every night and now it's just a few here and there. just keep breathing, keep talking, here, especially, where you have friends who get it. love you. *hugs*

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
TonyaL
Snake Charmera
Thank you so much. I am grateful for having this place to come to when I don't know what to do or honestly even how I am feeling. Sometimes I ramble and it doesn't always make sense but just trying to put it into words helps. I am grateful for the support of everyone here and the amazing friends I've made that continue to be angels that check on me daily. To anyone reading this hugs and if you ever need an ear I'm usually around.

My Anti-Valentine Entry 💔

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/cheating/a-valentines-date-to-remember

My first EP and a top ten from the Pride Competition
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/lesbian/-love-is-love-.aspx

Hanging in the background but around
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
btw, it's okay to be angry, too. just don't direct it at yourself. we put up a punching bag on the back porch. it gets a lot of abuse. smile

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.