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How to lose your job... ABC style

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pet the bosses daughter without permission
Roger the bosses wife
Stir up trouble.
Take a shit on the boss's desk
Usher Bosses wife to your bedroom.
Very late arrival to work on a daily basis
Walk into the woman's restroom more than once and say it was a mistake
Xerox your ass and pass out copies!
Zap your boss with a taser gun!


Art can never exist without naked beauty displayed.
Alcohol induced work day.
Bathing in the fountain in the courtyard.
Conference Call from a brothel.
Dancing naked on your desk.
Fucking your boss' mother and posting a video of it on the company's intranet site.
Getting caught masturbating on your boss's desk when you thought he was gone
Hang your used condoms around your cubicle - next to each is a picture of the woman in the office who you fucked while wearing it.
Imitate a chimpanzee at an important meeting.

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Jab all your co-workers on their genitals
Keep Out, Masturbatory Moment In Progress sign on your closed office door.
Lick your co-workers on the cheeks when you say Good Morning
Make hash cookies and pass them out to your coworkers.
" I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer"
Woody Allen
Never show up
Offer to hold your bosses penis while he pisses so he can check his phone
Play candy crush saga all day
Quack like a loud deranged duck whenever using the toilet
Sit on the copy machine naked and leave them in the break room