Lush Limericks

Rob has been quiet of late

Perhaps I should proffer some bait

Panties on a line

Would work, I think, fine

And we'd not have too long to wait

Drying her panties outdoors

Is a highlight of local walking tours

The passers by

See them flutter and sigh

"I'd love to get into Lynn's drawers"

Whether panties, knickers, or drawers

Not a one of them Rob deplores

He likes them worn

On she who's shorn

Rather than just bought right from the stores

Be they satin or silk or percale

New knickers entice without fail

But I'd never scorn

Ones Lynn has worn

When I bury my face and inhale.

Some might consider it crude

Or even, perhaps, quite lewd

Worn panties to snort

But I can report

On Lush 'tis not at all eschewed

If panty-sniffing is too coarse

My alternative you could endorse:

If you dropped 'em and bent

Then that heady scent

Could be sampled right from the source.

That source has scents which vary

Sometimes, you mightn't want to tarry

But another time

Can be quite sublime

So you can be the miners' canary

Now, a thought on that does occur

Is Rob adept, as it were

To tell without view

That he's sniffing who

'Twould be quite a talent, concur?

There once was a man

Let’s call him Sam

I found him lacking

So I sent him packing

Sam, wasn’t worth a Damm.

(Well, it's "damn", but anyway...)

--

Relishing green eggs and ham

Was Vee's rejected man, Sam

Now had he been Rob

He'd have not had a prob

And would easily displace Mr Sam †

....

(†) paid promotional advertisement

With my meat universally prized

Vee's pleasure can not be disguised

Whatever colour the eggs

When she opens her legs

They'll be, by and by, fertilized

"Rob's Meat", the banner proclaimed

"Far and widely acclaimed"

But the fine print

At one must squint

Exaggerations in size disclaimed

A sultry Canadian lass

Teased with a lot of sass

Both gal and guy

Causing many a sigh

As she shimmied her fine ass!

A girl from the Northern Great Plains

Enjoys making love when it rains

She much prefers men

But now and again

She’ll sample some Marys and Janes.

I've heard men in far North Dakota

Fulfill their sexual quota

With Buffalo, Bear

A deer in a snare

And sundry other biota

Her allure could not be denied

As she lay with her legs spread wide

So in I dove

To that treasure trove

And sampled what she could provide

She can always take me high

Helps me stretch and touch the sky

With her tongue and lips

And fingertips

But it's her sweet pussy makes me cry

A woman from old Inverness

Was a noted adulteress

She had many a tryst

With the men on her list

But stayed wedded nevertheless.

Quote by PlinyTheYounger

A woman from old Inverness

Was a noted adulteress

She had many a tryst

With the men on her list

But stayed wedded nevertheless.

.

Her number by now is unguessable

For her lovers are quickly accessible

With a lift of the kilt

They're in up to the hilt

With a keeness that's quite irrepressible.

A woman from old Inverness

Was a noted adulteress

She had many a tryst

With the men on her list

But stayed wedded nevertheless.

.

Her number by now is unguessable

For her lovers are quickly accessible

With a lift of the kilt

They're in up to the hilt

With a keeness that's quite irrepressible.

.

So that's the way with the Scots

They've all got a case of the hots

They're randy as fuck

And often get stuck

When their pricks get stuck up in her box!

Her boobs dangled right in my face

'Twas enough to make my heart race

Pert nipples inviting

For tongue delighting

About which I set to apace

A Highlander with an odd quirk

Was proud of his lengthy dirk

He brandished with

A Mrs. named Smith

Which yielded an arrogant smirk.

Her pussy gets damp when you suck it

And, wetter still, when you fuck it

A towel is enough

For the hetero stuff

But for girl play, Lynnwitt brings a bucket.

A bucket might be exaggeration

And quite exceeds imagination

Now, a few silky strands

From those Skene's glands

Provide a quite visible invitation

I once knew a woman from Leeds

‘Twas easy to sate all her needs

A pat on the bum

Would cause her to cum

And then on to dirtier deeds.

That's an awfully easy woman

To be all that quickly cummin'

Some need much more

Before you reach that score

E.g., lots of clitoris strumming'

A woman named Lady Luck

Had charm and verve and pluck

When propositioned

Without precondition

She’d gladly lay down and….. make love.

In college I dated a stoner

When I needed some pussy I'd phone her

She'd make it the norm

Behind the gals' dorm

To get high and bounce on my boner

Quote by PlinyTheYounger

Love it!

It is true that I have a taste

For ladies who are not chaste

For if chaste they were

I'd say "whut the heck fer"

And call it a total waste