Lush Limericks

Normally, I wouldn't do

That thing she was asking me to

But in the past I've exhibited

That I'm far too inhibited

So we went on-line for a screw.

As I waited there on all fours

She rummaged around in the drawers

Finding at last

A toy unsurpassed

We then got down to the "chores"

As we scissored there on the bed

With all our legs wide spread

She slipped in a toy

Bringing even more joy

With rocking orgasms ahead

A randy young wife in Tobruk,

Used to flirt with the guys in the souk,

Once, a lewd market trader,

With an eggplant, he laid her,

And she loved every inch that she took.

Cute, and the Souk setting conjures up a certain exoticness !

I took my toy to the shower

Ensuring it had lots of power

I must have been long,

There came a shout strong

"In there you've been for an hour!"

A woman so Avidly Curious

Had a passion so Lush and Luxurious

She set me ablaze

Dropped my pants with her gaze

We made love, now her husband is furious

It's Groundhog Day down here at Lush

And the Winter has been full of wet slush

But the hotties abound

As they all gather round

When I make my Thing cum with a gush!

It's Groundhog Day down here at Lush

Yet the holes I've been checking have been plush

And ready for stuffing

After wrists I've been cuffing

Then shove in my cock with a rush

It's Groundhog Day down here at Lush

And my face now is red with a flush

From the huffing and puffing

As the girls I've been stuffing

When they ride cowgirl, atop with a crush

It's Groundhog Day down here at Lush

And I'm finally going to hush

All my rhyming and slanging

Sounds like just so much clanging

And the subjects are making me blush!

For a Winter day, 'tis quite warm

With nary a hint of a storm

But the bed is rocking

As we practice docking

Just hope we don't break the platform

There once was a cocksman from Kent

Whose wanker never ever got spent

But one day he said, “Um,

I’ve got no more cum!”

The reason? His willie was bent!

To me came a lady one day

And asked if I wanted to play

To the bed we retired

And to pleasures aspired

As we stayed the rest of the day

There was a young girl from Tyrone,

Who recorded her sex on the phone.

She would play back the sound

Of her fooling around

Taking pleasure in each grunt and moan.

Mary, a virginal creature

Had an affair with a preacher

She was amazed

(And heaven be praised)

There was nothing that he couldn't teach her.

Upon his pills he depended

Else he would not be extended

But then he took four

And "three hours or more"

He learned 'twas not recommended

There's this sweet Singaporean lass

Who has a most luscious ass

She uses it as bait

For girls who are straight

And changes their minds en masse

Glen, sucked by two nerdy lasses

Had little time between classes

Gazing down at these two

He stared to spew

And dolloped thick cum on their glasses

Her vulva she liked me to lick

'Twas sweet and hot and quite slick

With tongue and lips

There 'twixt her hips

To orgasm we came very quick

Our hero was a chap from Lake Placid

But his equipment, oh my, was quite flacid

The local ladies said three inches is fine

But you never be mine

Instead we will avoid you like a dog that is rabid

So it's supposed to be St. Valentine's Day

A time when lusty cupids are out at play

But I'm outta luck

'Cus instead of a fuck

All I got was a card – hoo-ray?

No card for me this year

Not feverish breath in my ear

No hand down my pants

Not even a glance

At my delectable rear.

.

Such loud weeping and wailing

My ears you're both assailing

So here's a card

You can regard

And perhaps your complaints curtailing

jpg

Nude pictures he often requested

With lewd poses he also suggested

If indeed I took those

Bare from my head to my toes

Of my innocence I'd be soon divested

-- 😇

I don't much care for tawdry, lewd pics

Of sexy women doing smut tricks

When what I adore

Is words that do more

That paint thoughts of girls without knicks!

This fella they call James LLewellyn

Dug himself a hole and then fell in

He'll never see pics

Of naked chicks

Or, if he did, he ain't tellin'.

She liked to push up my knees

As both us she strove to please

That bell was soon rung

With her talented tongue

Which she used with great expertise

Quote by dlcalguy

This fella they call James LLewellyn

Dug himself a hole and then fell in

He'll never see pics

Of naked chicks

Or, if he did, he ain't tellin'.

.

Yet as for this guy they call Rob

All he wants is to make pussies throb

But instead

It is said

That inside 'em he feels like corn on the cob!

"Masturbation's bad", some have said

But I have a different view instead

Self pleasure seeking

Girlie goo leaking

As orgasmic delights I get on the bed