Dear Lushies,
Alison Goes to London: chapter 15 - A Proper Posh Totty
- just out - is a good stand-alone story if you haven't had the time to read any of the rest of this novel but would like to dip a toe in safely and without obligation.
After the nod to Hallowe'en in my last chapter, this chapter is Guy Fawkes-themed - so I hope will particularly appeal to our British readers. Also, I think it includes many features of British class satire and farce, in the best traditions of Jonathan Swift, George Bernard Shaw, and... Monty Python. Here's a taste for you:
“Will I be all righ’?” asked Riley. “I’m so fuckin’ nervous!” She was dressed in her school uniform – white blouse, plaid skirt and tie. “This is the best I’ve got to wear. Don’ ‘ave no fancy clothes like you. And do I ‘ave to talk all posh for this Doctor Dick – ya know, ‘‘ow d’ya do’ and all ‘at sort o’ fing?”
“Just be your normal self, Riley. You’ll be great,” Alison reassured her. “I’m sure Doctor Dick will be very happy with you in school uniform – besides, it won’t stay on long, will it? And I don’t think he’ll care how you speak – just so long as it’s filthy!” she laughed.
“Wai’, wai’, I been practisin’ talkin’ all posh-like. Me mum’s bin teachin’ me. She says for the fuckin’ Royal Academy of fuckin’… uh… Fuckin’, I better not sound too common, righ’? You know me dad was all posh – came from ‘Enley-on-Thames or somefink: didn’t stop ‘im fuckin’ scarperin’ as soon as I come along though, did it? Now listen ta this…” Riley stood up straight as a choirgirl, before declaiming, with an exaggeratedly upper-class English accent, “Good ahfternoon, Miss Bates. Would you maynd awfully licking my pussy?”
Alison doubled up with laughter. “Wha’? Wha’?” said Riley “Wasn’ ‘at posh enough for ya? Should I say ‘cunt’ instead o’ ‘pussy’?”
Have fun!
xxx
Grusha
Active Ink Slinger
GrushaVashnadze's best stories:
Alison Goes to London (RR) - "love this... fun, and funny, and sexy" (sprite)
The Cursed Cunt (RR) - "holyyyyy sheeeiiit.... Your writing is fucking fantastic" (CarltonStJames)
A Worthless Filthy Fucking Smoking Trash Cunt Whore (RR) - "Brilliantly done. Of course." (naughtyannie)
Snow White and the Seven Dildos (RR) - "Fuck. It's perfect.... honestly genius and so fucking well executed." (VioletVixen)
Metamorphoses (RR) - "so imaginative and entertaining" (saucymh)
And There Came Two Angels to Sodom - "What a deliciously worded story! So juicy, so raunchy" (el_henke)
Fuck-Talk (with VioletVixen) - "Jeez. I feel rendered wordless by how much clever fucking fun this is" (Jaymal)
