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Newbie story style

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seymour
Rookie Scribe
Hi

I have just posted the second part of the ongoing story of the Awakening of Mary, an almost frigid wife who suddenly discovers the joys of sex. Please do have a look. https://

I'm keen to know if the style works. I've written it in the first person from both Mary's and her husband's point of view, with the story being intermingled and differentiated by Mary's story being in italics.

On another forum the idea of writing like this was frowned on but to me it works (but then it would, wouldn't it!) Please let me know if you find it confusing or any other comments.

Thanks

David
Pelwrath
Advanced Wordsmith
I checked out #2 tonight and left you a comment.
"Illegitimis non carborundum." Vinger Joe Stllwell

What you learn in life is important; those you help learn are more.
laura
Mana wahine
Quote by seymour
I'm keen to know if the style works. I've written it in the first person from both Mary's and her husband's point of view, with the story being intermingled and differentiated by Mary's story being in italics.

On another forum the idea of writing like this was frowned on but to me it works (but then it would, wouldn't it!)



If you're referring to this forum topic from earlier today, then it wasn't frowned upon, it was embraced. Y'all better believe I have nothing better to do than go through the forums for this stuff. #lushpolicestrikeagain


https://forum.lushstories.com/yaf_postst69147_Switching-Points-of-View-within-a-Story.aspx?find=unread