"Did you ever do it to Ravel's Boléro?" asks Bo Derek in "10". Good question, as that piece must surely be one of the most orgasmic in the classical music repertoire - whether your preferred rendering is that of the 1979 movie, or of Torvill & Dean's 1984 scorching Winter Olympics performance, or even just "neat". And so, Chapter Fourteen of How Harriet Learnt to Smoke and Fuck and Love Jesus begins thus:
"As the music started, softly at first, just some slow plucked violas and cellos, and a quiet but driving rhythm on the snare drum, the spot widened to reveal Harriet in a pink bikini, her large breasts straining against her top, her body slowly writhing in cunt-dripping anticipation... A solo flute had begun to play, its melody sinuous and sensual, winding its way slowly downwards over the mechanical fuck-beat of the snare. Harriet’s hands echoed the melody, curling, stroking, squeezing her genetically modified tits through her bikini top, then releasing them so that her swollen nipples protruded proudly over the cups."
And so it continues - to the inevitable crashing E-major-modulating orgasm.
Or does it? Read here to find out.
Alternatively, of course, just find your favourite fuck-buddy, pop Boléro on the speakers, and try it out for yourselves.
In neither enterprise will you be disappointed, I promise...
