Okay... I just had a baby a little more than 3 months ago. I have been feeling uncomfortable about having sex. I don't have a boyfriend. (The father left me after I told him I was pregnant) However I have been talking to this one guy and he and I both want to have sex. But I think that my hole is a blackhole. I feel that it won't be pleasureable for him. What can I do to not feel/think this way?
Your vagina is an amazing thing. It stretches to accommodate birthing but then miraculously returns to normal. Keigel exercises help as well. My first child was almost ten pounds...twenty one years and another baby later and I am still a nice fit for any man. Relax, don't be so self conscious. If need be go to your doctor for an exam to put your fears to rest. Good luck and congratulations on the baby!
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. ~Swami X
Talk to him and discuss your concerns. I bet if anything, he wil express his desires for you even more and you will have a fantastic time together!
With sex as well as love, communications makes it a better experience!
Like poizenivy stated, get working on some kegel exercises! They do work! I've had 4-kids and to this day, it is still like working out the most important muscles, (besides your brains!), that will give you and your lovers much more pleasure!
Kisses!
Steph
As a guy I can tell you that the whole giving birth makes the vagina loose myth is just that...a myth. If he wants you and you want him he'll have plenty of pleasure.
Well... last night we had semade love. i thought it was wonderful. i believe it was good for him too. but i want to do something special for him but i dont know what.
Congratulations on your first sexual experience after giving birth!
By something special, so you mean nice teasing game? There are many to select,
- Sexy lingerie…on you, not him. Just kidding. Then get him to take them off from you, only use his teeth.
- Full body sensual massage for each other, no cloth of course.
- Spread honey all over your body, blindfold him with your panty and get him lick it all off.
- Write down all the little naught things you guys want to do to each other’s body, like “nibble eardrop”, “leave teeth mark on butt”…on note, one idea per note. Toss all the notes into a jar, and you guys each draw one by random, and do the thing on the note to the other person. Then draw it again… you get the idea.
- Goto ‘Lovers Package’ store to buy something you both like, or just spark the ideas.
If you’re really out of ideas, check local library. There lots of books on this category, for example, “The ultimate guide to sexual fantasy : how to turn your fantasies into reality”, by Violet Blue.
Or, you can just sit on his lap, telling him how you appreciate his efforts, how you love him for being gentle and caring for you.
bi-lover55,
I do understand your feelings, my wife felt the same way after our two kids, but the others are right, you will heal and tighten again. Also, remember it is called making love for a reason and I am sure your partner will be well pleased with you - love goes beyond physical attraction. Sure all will be well
Best of luck!
Sorry to hear about the worthless fuck that abandoned you......
As far as feeling strange about sex? Tell your partner....It's like going swimming, you are apprehensive at first so sometimes you need to dive right in. I'm sure once you get each other off, you will feel much better.....:-)
Id
Believe me, his feelings of pleasure have much more to do with his interaction with you than about any perceived loosenss. I speak from experience, sex with a new mother is delicious.
Glad to hear you got back in the saddle but I do hope you used (are using) protection so as to avoid a second pregnancy with yet another dead-beat-daddy.
