READ THIS YOU GODDAMNED BASTARDS BEFORE YOU SUBMIT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING STORY!

ok, i have tried to be nice. fuck that shit. IF you are submitting a story that is 300-500 words long and it doesn't contain ANY sex and/or eroticism and it ends with 'TO BE CONTINUED' it WILL be sent back. i don't give a fuck if you're a gold member, a platinum member, or George RR Fucking Martin. it's not going on the front page. Finish the damn thing and THEN submit it. This is your last warning, mofos. I have HAD it with each and every one of you. (that goes for you too, Jaymal - I know where you live. Prick.).

Sprite.

I'm gonna spank her for the execution, but I can't fault the message 😇

Best post I've read in ages 🤣🤣🤣😭

Okay. I think we are clear. 😊

I love it! 🤣

I promise I'll try to put more sex in my stories, sprite. 😊

Quote by Jaymal

I promise I'll try to put more sex in my stories, sprite. 😊

The server will burst into flames if you put any more sex in your stories, Wicked Jake.

Quote by KimmiBeGood

The server will burst into flames if you put any more sex in your stories, Wicked Jake.

so will about half our readers lol

Quote by sprite

so will about half our readers lol

True!!! Between him and Krystal... whew!

Quote by KimmiBeGood

True!!! Between him and Krystal... whew!

Did somebody call me?

Quote by krystalg

Did somebody call me?

Yes! Calling out you and Jake for melting things with your hot writing

Keep up the good work!

I am shocked that anyone would submit a story to Lush that doesn't contain sex!

This IS LUSHTORIES! A fucking sex story site! SEX! SEX! SEX!

It's simple to understand! Every submission must contain sex: fucking, fingerings, sucking sodomizing, cunnilingus, felatio, vibrators, dildos, tongue sucking, rimming, voyeurism, humpin', gangbanging, scissoring, etc., etc. Some kind of sex - legal age, consenting sex between human fucking beings or highly intellectual horny-ass beings with tentacles, or something.

Quote by krystalg

Did somebody call me?

not unless your name is horny slut. oh, wait, nevermind. i guess they did.

Quote by Buz
It's simple to understand! Every submission must contain sex: fucking, fingerings, sucking sodomizing, cunnilingus, felatio, vibrators, dildos, tongue sucking, rimming, voyeurism, humpin', gangbanging, scissoring, etc

I read this while doing an impression of Stone Cold Steve Austin and hearing "What!" after everything after the colon.

Don't mind me though. My intoxication is wearing off and I am very immature, so please do carry on.

Quote by sprite

ok, i have tried to be nice. fuck that shit. IF you are submitting a story that is 300-500 words long and it doesn't contain ANY sex and/or eroticism and it ends with 'TO BE CONTINUED' it WILL be sent back. i don't give a fuck if you're a gold member, a platinum member, or George RR Fucking Martin. it's not going on the front page. Finish the damn thing and THEN submit it. This is your last warning, mofos. I have HAD it with each and every one of you. (that goes for you too, Jaymal - I know where you live. Prick.).

Sprite.

But those are the ones that make my stories seem sort of sexy. Now what am I going to do?

And spankings. Somebody please write stories with spankings 😊

Quote by KimmiBeGood

And spankings. Somebody please write stories with spankings 😊

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/spanking/love-thy-neighbor-part-4-spit-roast

Is this not where one would hire the BDSM Sadists to act as enforcers? (consensual of course)

Side note: Thank you moderators for all your hard work

BDSM? Big Dumb Stupid Me?

Quote by KimmiBeGood

And spankings. Somebody please write stories with spankings 😊

I have just completed one and more will follow. You can’t beat a good spanking!

I didn't realize his middle name was Fucking...

Quote by sprite

ok, i have tried to be nice. fuck that shit. IF you are submitting a story that is 300-500 words long and it doesn't contain ANY sex and/or eroticism and it ends with 'TO BE CONTINUED' it WILL be sent back. i don't give a fuck if you're a gold member, a platinum member, or George RR Fucking Martin. it's not going on the front page. Finish the damn thing and THEN submit it. This is your last warning, mofos. I have HAD it with each and every one of you. (that goes for you too, Jaymal - I know where you live. Prick.).

Sprite.

Man... that was a kind of sexy rant. Do you know what it makes me want to do?

To be continued...

Quote by RowanThorn

Man... that was a kind of sexy rant. Do you know what it makes me want to do?

To be continued...

I can find out where YOU live too, you godless bastard.

This is just a hunch, you understand, but judging by that somewhat strident recent outburst, Her Royal Spritefullness may need to add a bit more ruffage into her diet. ;)

Quote by RumpleForeskin

This is just a hunch, you understand, but judging by that somewhat strident recent outburst, Her Royal Spritefullness may need to add a bit more ruffage into her diet. ;)

Well, I agree that starting a series with a 300 to 500-word chapter is a bad idea. It strikes me as the inverse of what the late David Foster Wallace would do if he had somehow chosen to experiment with Lush. But there are sites that allow non-erotic fiction and also non-erotic non-fiction. I've done a few of those for a change of pace and they went over well with the readers. But I get that Lush doesn't have categories for that.

Quote by sprite

ok, i have tried to be nice. fuck that shit. IF you are submitting a story that is 300-500 words long and it doesn't contain ANY sex and/or eroticism and it ends with 'TO BE CONTINUED' it WILL be sent back. i don't give a fuck if you're a gold member, a platinum member, or George RR Fucking Martin. it's not going on the front page. Finish the damn thing and THEN submit it. This is your last warning, mofos. I have HAD it with each and every one of you. (that goes for you too, Jaymal - I know where you live. Prick.).

Sprite.

Every time I read this I picture Amanda Plummer as Honey Bunny in 'Pulp Fiction' standing on a table pointing a gun at the diners and yelling "I'll kill every last one of you muther fuckers!"

Quote by LakeShoreLimited
But there are sites that allow non-erotic fiction

cough storiesspace.com cough

As I scribble my latest story for Lush she kissed upwards along my thigh. I scribbled faster…she reached my balls taking one then the other into her mouth rolling each softly with her tongue. The words flowed into the iPad, my breath quickened. Her hand grasped my cock as her lips surrounded the head. The tips of my fingers heated with the sheer speed of my typing. Fuck! She consumed me bucking her head furiously on my stiff rod…my seed exploded in her mouth. The last sentence completed with a period. She sat up and spit cum onto my chest screaming,”You mother fucker I told you not to cum in my mouth!” I pushed submit hoping Sprite would approve.

Quote by WannabeWordsmith

cough storiesspace.com cough

No, I meant Literotica. They haven't complained even though I wrote an series of essays about what it was like to drive a New York taxi years ago. There isn't a lot of sex in it because, let's face it, taxi drivers have a low sexual market-place value. I'm not fond of that term, but everyone seems to use it now.

BUMP for all the people who haven't bothered to read it (at least 3 of you based on stories i've rejected in the past hour). I am FUCKING SERIOUS!