I've noticed a lot of older people say things like: "I'm glad I'm not in the dating scene these days", and "I guess things are different now."
I don't know what things used to be like obviously, and everyone is different, but my guess is that for lots of people it was more "traditional", where a guy would call you, make plans for that saturday night or whatever, go to dinner and a movie, then take you back home and walk you to the door. I don't know if that's how it really used to happen mostly, or if that's just the idea I get from old movies, tv, etc.
That routine has only happened to me twice, and it felt stiff and wierd both times. Mostly I meet guys wherever and decide if I want to hang out with them, among other things, give them my number, email, etc., and either hook up right then, meet up somewhere later on, or have nothing to do with him beyond a five minute conversation. It doesn't feel as formal when it just flows one way or the other, and there's less pressure than if a guy makes real "plans" for "us" right away.
Maybe most people have always done it this way, and the "things used to be different" is about something else?
So my question is for anyone older- and its up to you to decide what "older" means- how do you perceive dating, or the game, to be different now than it was when you were younger? Or do you think it really is?
Imagine life without a cell phone. No internet. No email. No instant communications at your hand.
You have a land line phone in your house, shared by another or up to 7 people.
You or your siblings drive a car (or your parents chaperon you) or you ride with a friend lucky enough to have a car.
Your date for the night has to meet your parent(s). No ifs, ands or buts.
Hookup? That's something done to a tv antenna.
Fake IDs abounded, sure. Booze and drugs were just as prevalent (drugs may not have been as potent). You made out in the backseat of a car at the drive-in theatre or went parking out in the country (which is now 10 to 30 miles farther 'out' in the boonies than it was in 1970 or 1980.
Spending the night at your date's house or at a party fucking til all hours of the morning. Rarely.
This was dating from 16 to 20 years of age for many of us older people.
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
I don't know how old you are WMM, but it seems you're not far off from me. I remember all of that except the date meeting my parents, that never happened. But that was because my parents didn't care and not the norm.
I don't know if it's changed much since I was single. There was definitely a difference in the way we communitcated. We didn't text each other or connect over the Internet. It was all done through landlines, like WMM mentioned, or actually going to visit one another. Sometimes we'd use carrier pigeons.
More often than not though, we'd go out as a group of friends and occasionally pair off. When I met my husband, we did have traditional dates, where he'd call me and we'd organise to go out. He also met my parents and used to pick me up in his car, but it was all pretty casual and comfortable.
Well as a child of the 70's what was different for me was Sex, Drugs & Rock-N-Roll was FUN and not dangerous, life threatening or addictive. Free love and all that post war protesting hippy crap woo-hoo fuck buddies abound and don't bogart that joint my friend or hog the ludes! Ahhhh the good old days......A hot body, a bottle of T.J. Swan and looking for trouble on a Friday night LOL
Bunny12
Bunny Rabbits cute and fuzzy they want to love you but they have razor sharp teeth - don't piss them off! Honestly, the only reason most of us had a steady girlfriend was so we could have a way to get free sex. Once the sex got boring... "Sorry - I just don't think I feel it anymore..." No such thing as a quick "hookup". Our version of a "lipstick party" was "30 seconds of heaven". Or 60 seconds, or whatever. You all sit around and roll dice, or spin a bottle, or whatever. Whoever gets picked goes into the closet for the allotted time. Whatever goes on in there stays in there. We did have the occasional party where we would all sit around, get fucked up, and pair off - but that was very rare.
WMM and Bunny covered all the bases for me - except the drive-in movie bit (had neither a car nor a drive-in theatre in my part of England).
Try imagining dating as a teen, armed with your bus pass, collecting the girlfriend after a grilling by the parents, and getting her home before the regular bus service stopped, circa 11pm. God I feel so damned ancient and I'm still in my 40's!!! Thank heaven my 20's were so awesome.
But truly, the thing I am most grateful for, is for being settled by the time HIV hit the scene.
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
My first, we all just met at the movie theater by parents driving ... don't even remember the movie. My second date, we walked to the bus stop, rode the city bus to an Italian restaurant downtown, (a long way from our little town) ate spaghetti ... or rather, she watched me eat mine while hers got cold, and left via bus. I was 12 or 13.